Bear in mind if it turns out you can’t stay there on the Friday, you could stay in the city you’re flying into and that would be your food and entertainment sorted for the night. there a kitchen, what will you do for breakfast? You need to ask her what the plans are for being fed.*
I honestly don't have a clue. I know we're being fed on the Saturday afternoon as part of the wedding breakfast, and on the Sunday we're getting a brunch, but I don't know what's happening the the rest. I think I'll take some sandwiches just in case.
I think her moms invited some random cousin and is insisting they need your room because family first and all that bollocks
Definitely not. Her mother is lucky to have an invitation herself.
As bridesmaids she might be expecting you to have made up some games/done a mr and mrs game/brought a photo album for you to all to sit and remember the old times. Ask her!
She's not the kind of woman, and nor are we. Although that said, I do have an old photo album from school I might take along now.
Has she maybe just realised that her and fiance will need separate rooms to keep up the groom shouldn't see the bride in the morning of the wedding tradition and theres no other room available?
No, the groom is staying at his brother's house the night before. Even if this was the case, there are friends staying who are not bridesmaids, and less close than me and her.
Assume since staying there is optional that you need to pay for that night. When the night comes, see how she is, she may want you there she may just go to her room and chill. I guess she is managing your expectations that it’s not going to be a big party night. It’s not personal. Weddings are stressful for the bride.
We are paying to stay there. I couldn't care less if she wants to go to bed at 6pm or stay up drinking till 6am. There are only going to be 11 of us there the night before, with no bar or restaurant, and with two of us having been travelling all day since early morning. I don't think she could think that we were expecting a rave.
Word of advice OP bring extra crisps. I predict the the happy couple will be too stressed to cater and you might end up having to eat one of the wedding party.
Am going to tell other bridesmaid we need to check another suitcase for edibles.
Here's a thought..just ask her directly?
We have. Hence the worried we'll be bored, no bar or restaurants etc.
She's going to spend the day/night before organising this @Despolime hence the "bored" comment.
My much nicer friend said we would help with decorating when we got there. Apparently it will be minimal with not much to do.
Maybe offer to organise some food or something. If there's not going to be many of you and all in one place
We're flying in on the Friday morning, then taking three trains and a taxi to get there. We're not organising food when there are people who live in that country and own cars going.
You know your friend best - is she more likely to be rude or to be considerate of you and not want you to be bored?
I love her, but I'd say 50/50 between consideration and passive aggression for some crime we haven't committed.
Bear in mind if it turns out you can’t stay there on the Friday, you could stay in the city you’re flying into and that would be your food and entertainment sorted for the night.
We're flying into Berlin and the venue is several hours (three train rides and a 40 minute taxi) away in rural Germany. The wedding is on the Saturday morning.
She is managing your expectations, trying to avoid there being any drama if you turn up expecting there to be somewhere you can eat and relax and find there is none.
To be fair, I would have assumed there would be food there on the Friday night, whether it a buffet or takeaway or restaurant. To my mind, the usual thing to do would be 'Hi - not sure you realise but the place is completely self catering but I'll be taking along some water & pizzas or a sandwich platter so there's food when you arrive so there won't be anything to eat or drink on the Friday night. Are you okay to bring something along yourself?' rather than 'you'll be bored and hungry and thirsty. Are you sure you want to stay here? It's really no problem if you do though'.