To never tell them their birth order?

[sunshinepoppy]

I have twin boys who were born by c-section. Over the years I have seen interviews with adult twins where they set great store by their birth order. E.g saying one should know better because they are elder by 5 mins. This type of dynamic seems odd and unhelpful.

For this reason we have decided not to tell the boys their birth order. I am now starting to doubt this decision because I am not sure it is my right to keep the information from them.

They are only 6 months old so we have not told them anything yet.
I would appreciate seeing people’s opinions about this. Especially opinion from someone who has a twin.

are your family genuinely the type?

if so, keep it quiet from them.

This is completely batshit. Why wouldn't you tell them? It's part of their story. A minor part yes but it isn't right to keep it from them. Very few people will actually give a shit about who was first. They may tease but it is just that, teasing.

if they were born in England or Wales their birth certs will have their time of birth on them?!

And in Scotland every birth certificate has a time on it! Something to do with the exact definition of majority or something, ie if you were born at 1130am, you don't become legally of age until 1130am on your 18th birthday or something like that.

So mine says that I was born at 0435 and I'm not a twin.

oh for goodness sake - YABU!

We have refused to tell our families their birth order because we worried that they would assign age roles to them e.g. you should know better because you are the eldest

You're projecting some fairly crazy shit onto your family members.

I know several sets of twins. Seriously - birth order is not an issue.

We have refused to tell our families their birth order because we worried that they would assign age roles to them e.g. you should know better because you are the eldest.

Are you serious?

Do you really think your family would be stupid enough to tell Baby 1 that they should be more mature than Baby 2, all for the sake of being two minutes older?

🤦‍♀️

This is either a wind up, or you are completely mad.

@SayNoToCarrots

In the UK single babies don't have a time on their birth certificates. Twins should do.

I have never seen a time on a birth certificate. British birth certificates certainly do not have the time on them.

So Scottish birth certificates don't count? That's nice to know.

And the time of multiple births are recorded even if the babies are born in other parts of the UK.

You're way overthinking this. Families tease each other over all sorts of tiny things, it's normal. No one is going to treat twins differently because one was born a few minutes before the other.

This is bizarre. When people say that the one who's older by two minutes "should know better", they're clearly joking! They'll almost certainly ask at some point which one was born first, and if you refuse to tell them they'll think it's a much bigger deal than it actually is.

you should know better because you are the eldest.

By five bloody minutes? That's bonkers.

Are you not going to tell them their names either, in case one of them brags about being first in the alphabet?

I just checked their birth certificates. The different times are on there so I guess we are telling them.

My ID twin girls are 14 now and have always known their birth order. It has made absolutely no difference tonthem and is rarely discussed.

*to them

I have twin sister I know which was born first forget how many minutes by. Seriously by not telling them you making it bigger then it is.

Time isnt on the birth certificate is it?

I'm a twin and the older one, never have I been told I should know better. I'd be pretty peed off if my parents decided not to tell me who was older me or my sister as I've been asked a billion times in my lifetime, people are just curious no other reason for the question.

I think it's ridiculous not to tell them it's part of being a twin.

I have never seen a time on a birth certificate. British birth certificates certainly do not have the time on them.

They used to for twins, for the reasons I mentioned above. I have a feeling the requirement was relaxed when inheritance laws changed, and reverted to just the date for all.

Most of the world does record the time of birth, and it's no surprise that Scotland does too - although that may just be to make a point

In England twin births have a time on them. Singleton births don't. You can hide it but it will come out anyway.

When I was at school there were 3 sets of twins in my year, nd 95% of arguments were met with 'well I'm older so I get my way' and a reply of 'only 2/3/4 minutes, so it doesn't count'

When I found out I was pregnant with twins I vowed not to tell them.
They were C-section babies, and due to the amount of staff in the room, only 1 minute between them anyway!
I was cmpletely under for my C-section, and DH not allowed in the room, so we don't know 100% for sure anyway, we only have Drs word for it.

It's never been an issue... No one has really cared, especially not my DC, and I don't think they ever really will tbh.

This just has to be a wind up

We have refused to tell our families their birth order because we worried that they would assign age roles to them e.g. you should know better because you are the eldest

This is actually mental.

I’m a twin. Do I think the 11 minutes I spent on Earth before my sister popped out behind me has impacted my life or socialisation in any way? No.

This actually looks like you’re looking for things to be worried or anxious about, and isn’t a normal reaction to a totally hypothetical situation.

I have a twin brother who is 2 mins older (we were also born by emergency caesarian) and I think you're bonkers. There was only ever healthy competition between us. Never did us any harm and we're both successful - he's a commercial pilot and I'm an engineer.

Men are 15. They do not know their birth order. No need.