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Original poster

...to report a mum to SS for being a prostitute?

196 replies

ToBeASnitchOrNot · 26/01/2020 13:43

Would you?

Shes admitted to me shes a prostitute. Sleeps with men for either money, jobs around the house or lifts. Laughed about it, has no shame about it, thinks nothing of it.

Known to me as my DC is friends with hers. We live in the same street. Her DC is only young and frequently left with irresponsible teen siblings while shes out with men. Or when she has her clients round at hers, which is very frequently, she sometimes sends the younger one round to us. She doesn't openly say to us shes sending DC to us because she is 'working' but we see the various different cars on her drive and put 2 and 2 together. But sometimes he doesn't want to stay at our place and goes home, where I assume he's left to his own devices. He gets upset if I try to get him to stay with us.

We've noticed shes also taken on a new client who is a neighbour. Again, shes not told us, but she never used to even say hi to this guy, but now shes started going round to his, curtains are drawn and she reappears an hour or so later. During one of these times her young DC walked round to us wearing only a pair of dirty tracksuit bottoms. Winter, raining, cold but no shoes top or coat.

In addition to this her house is filthy, she often looks like shes on drugs (unsteady on her feet, glazed eyes, a general 'away with the fairies' manner, the kid is rarely properly dressed or clean, and is rarely at school.

Shes been reported to SS before by a fellow concerned neighbour but she took off for 2 months to another country where her mum lives to escape it.

I feel I SHOULD back up other neighbour and report her as I'm concerned for the welfare of the young DC. But another part of me hates the whole 'snitching' side of it. When all is said and done, if SS have already been notified, and they've done nothing, should I really stick my beak in? Maybe they feel her DC is safe enough? Is it really my place?

But I'm worried her DC is left vulnerable and seeing/hearing more than they should and being neglected in terms of a proper stable home life, education etc.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Merename · 26/01/2020 14:11

Agree, the prostitution itself would not be a concern if she conducted herself in a way that did not impact on her kids. However if you believe she’s using drugs when kids are in her care, potentially exposing them to clients, and neglecting physical needs, then you absolutely have a responsibility to report. Social services often have to close down cases because they don’t have enough evidence, even though it is suspected, so your report helps build a picture. Not an easy position to be in but you have no choice.

user163578742 · 26/01/2020 14:11

You have an issue with "snitching" but not with discussing her in detail on a public forum?

If you have concerns about any child being neglected then raise those through the appropriate avenues.

theendoftheendoftheend · 26/01/2020 14:12

If her child appears at your door like that again you should call the police.

Thestrangestthing · 26/01/2020 14:12

Why wouldn't you? Hmm

Headinthedrawer · 26/01/2020 14:13

I would report soley on the sex worker stuff let alone the neglect.She is seeing clients in the family home when she is in charge of her children.They are at risk of other unknown adults and not being prioritised.Neglect and possible emotional.sbuse.If they are witnessing or being exposed to anything it's also sexual abuse. SS need to be informed to check this out.

PinkCrayon · 26/01/2020 14:13

" Agree, how she makes her living is entirely her personal choice. I would never report her simply for this. "

Except the title of your post is ". ..to report a mum to SS for being a prostitute?"

shivermetimbers77 · 26/01/2020 14:14

Yes, absolutely report. This is neglect and the child may also be at risk from mum's punters.

Clarabella77 · 26/01/2020 14:14

Report her if you have clear evidence that the children are being neglected.

But please don't report her for being a sex worker, and examine whether your judgements of what she does for a living are influencing your view on how she cares for her child.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 26/01/2020 14:14

The profession is not a reason to report someone.

Other concerns are.
I did make report once under my full name and it turned out I was not the only one.

JustFinished · 26/01/2020 14:17

I’d report, but like other posters not because she’s a sex worker, because of the neglect. That doesn’t make you a snitch, that makes you a person concerned about a child’s welfare trying to help.

Apirateslifeforme · 26/01/2020 14:17

Jesus, yes report.
She is showing an incredible lack of judgement allowing her clients in the same home she shares with her children let alone allowing them in, around her children. That alone would set alarm bells ringing from a safeguarding standpoint,

Along with the rest which are all point by point reasons that people would refer to social services.

You arent snitching on a sex worker,

You are actually helping 2+ children who are in need of help if you call.

Please think of these children and how damaging this situation is for them.

Maryann1975 · 26/01/2020 14:18

The more people who report bits of evidence, the more chance ss will do something about it. I reported neglect to the headteacher, who asked me to ring it through to first response myself, as she said it had more impact coming from someone else than another example from her.

The child only gets one childhood, is it fair that it is being lived in this environment? Unclean and smelly, without adequate clothing? You aren’t snitching, you are trying to help a child, who by the sounds of it desperately needs a bit of help.

CallmeAngelina · 26/01/2020 14:18

You've borrowed money from her?!

greasyspooncafe · 26/01/2020 14:18

Without doubt I would report her for neglect based on what you've described. If she has men at the house when the child is there I would personally also report the fact that she's a sex worker.

SmudgeButt · 26/01/2020 14:20

I'm wondering about the neighbour frankly. Does he have a wife that you should be mentioning any of this to?

the child's welfare is the main issue but if there is a wife who may be passed an STD which is sadly common where sex workers are involved then that is also a worry.

cabbageking · 26/01/2020 14:20

If you are concerned for the safety of the children then report her.

Being a prostitute would not be a SS problem by itself nor would going with neighbours.

Lot of mothers are occasional prostitutes, escorts and cam girls and do not neglect their children.

Jomarchsburntskirt · 26/01/2020 14:20

I wouldn’t hesitate to report her. If you feel like the kids are being neglected I would report her to the Police and children’s social care.

Straycatstrut · 26/01/2020 14:21

I'd feel I had to do it for the sake of the children. It's just really worrying about what happens after that. It's not one phone call and everyone is saved.

The mum will probably go off the rails even further.

And there are so many horror stories about life in care.

I hope grandparents/other family members can take the DC.

converseandjeans · 26/01/2020 14:22

Agree with papery
Also I assume she gets benefits so if she's earning extra on the side then the kids should have decent clothes, days out, nice house etc.
She could easily do the work in school hours & organise proper childcare like after school club.

PumpkinP · 26/01/2020 14:23

The op has given her money not borrowed money from her.

Hopel · 26/01/2020 14:23

I’d report the neglect of a child - whatever her line of work she has a responsibility to ensure her child is properly cared for while she is working. In addition, if you suspect the child is in danger because of her drug use and/or being surrounded by many different men etc, then I’d bring that up too.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 26/01/2020 14:24

Absolutely report it op. Do you know what school her ds goes to? I would also contact the safeguarding lead at the school and tell them everything too.

Tangerinesandlemons · 26/01/2020 14:25

Yes, you could report to SS, but the possible outcome for the child might not be any better than the life he/she is experiencing at present.
www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/10/vulnerable-children-treated-like-cattle-in-care-home-system

Ponoka7 · 26/01/2020 14:27

I agree report any neglect. SS won't intervene just because she is a prostitute. I've known prostitute ex heroine addicts (on methadone) to only have their children on Child in need plans, even with neglect going on.

The child is less at risk of Mum's punters than a Single Mum's sexual partners. It's the other stuff that will raise concerns.

Are you all condemning your neighbour as well?

The danger is if you stop her working from home, she might then leave her Son unsupervised or with someone unsuitable. Otherwise I'd say take pictures of the cars etc and find a FB page to post them on.

Ending the chaotic lifestyle will do them both a favour.

TiptopJ · 26/01/2020 14:28

I agree with the other posters. If the children were well cared for I wouldnt report her for being a sex worker but if you're certain that theres an element of neglect taking place then I would definitely raise concerns about the children. The thing is, when she was last reported the children might have still been safe and sound so SS decided there wasnt a case, things might have declined for them now so it's worth raising again.