What do you like/dislike about MN ?

[Phoenixxx]

It's great to have an array of replies and opinions when you post, to know that others are in the same situation, to have something that has helped me to identify red flags and signs of abuse. To have people cheer you up and people to talk to any time of the day.
The only thing I dislike are the small number of posters who will criticise you no matter what you write, who make cruel comments.

I'd second 'an edit function for posts'..my phone has a predictive mind of it's own an I'll often not have a proper read through. Although I've read some really funny ones followed by a quick 'shit, I meant....'

One in particular where a poster loved her 'My 'puppy', it's so cute! Occasionally nippy but everyone gives it lots of attention and loves kisses and nose rubs....her phone wrote corrected 'puppy' with 'pussy'...a very different read...

Like:
Name change
Amazing support for really devastating life problems
Very intelligent posters with well reasoned and thought out posts
Good product recommendations

Dislike:
Hun snobbery
Hurtful and unhealthy size and weight obsessions. If you're a size 12 to 16 then you will be often debated as fat or not and how sizes are bigger now.
Inability to edit posts
Repeated posts like words mispellings, money saving tips, how do i clean my tip of a house
Ring leaders and those who suck up to them
Replying with '.'
Can be a hub of competitive unhealthy body loathing negativity and envy
LTB is too readily dished out
Ditto narcissism and freedom course

I like (in a weirdly masochistic way) when posters smugly come up with a speech for OP to say which is about as long and dull as War and Peace.

I dislike when people boringly call FWR "transphobic" with not one iota of proof. Lazy "shut the women up" tactic. (Which won't work.)

I like all the interesting glimpses into very different lives, and the camaradarie and humour. I don't like the cruelty.

There's always at least one (and sometimes loads of posters) on a thread that seem to be looking for reasons to tear into people. It makes me feel very sad for them. It's horrible for the OP as well of course but it seems worse for the attackers somehow! They just sound broken and I wonder what their lives are like.

On AIBU it seems the common thread is those posters aren't ever starting from an assumption that the people in the family love each other. I mean, obviously that's not always true but I think it is often true? That people love each other and are trying and yet are sometimes damaged or hurting or just make mistakes.

Dislike- Band wagon jumpers or back row bullies- especially when it comes from a place of attack (I noticed this in a 'clique' thread)- The OP asked a genuine AIBU, a 'favourite' answered with lines like 'it's people like you/idiot', jumped on by several people in agreement- as soon as the OP defended herself was told 'that's mean/out of order'....schoolyard!
Also hypocrites...I doubt many live the 'clean, recycled, tree hugging, renewable energy, carbon footprint aware' lifestyle they like to portray...

Maybe the opposite of those wanting an edit function: people who clearly haven't bothered reading through before posting. A few typos here and there, whatever. A whole post of them and I just give up. People then add multiple extra posts with edits and blame autocorrect: it's not autocorrect's fault, it's yours!

Every other forum in the world copes with an edit function though, so not sure why mn can't. Likewise a block function. I don't care if it destroys the flow of conversation or whatever stupid reason mnhq come out with, there are some posters who I'm not interested in.

I’d like there to be a way to only read posts by the OP.
There is. I can’t remember exactly how to do it but I think it’s in settings.
You can highlight the op post a certain colour

@DisinterestedParty 'autocorrect' is often to blame, you can't expect everyone to type, edit, check, post- even when a full word is spelt and typed correctly your phone will just go 'no! It's this.......'

I get a post full of them can be annoying and unreadable, but still, occasionally funny.

I like the funny threads; the kind, supportive ones; and the way people can ask really obscure questions and get a knowledgeable answer. The recent thread about weird, childhood experiences at other people's houses was a great example of how good MN can be. Also, kitten finding threads, although they make me a bit envious, I never find kittens.

I don't like the competitive under-eating; the obvious trolls; and the not-my-Nigel brigade. I'm also quite disappointed with the strange turn FWR has taken.

Some of the threads have me laughing out loud! You also get real insight into different family situations. I find some of the 'cunt' language unnecessary and don't like to see people egging on an OP who is in the middle of a volatile or challenging situation. Some posters however offer real insights and helpful suggested wording for texts. I was upset by an issue and posted - was even more upset by what felt like one cruel response that didn't try and understand my viewpoint or get me to reframe if they felt I hadn't been clear.

It's a good time waster when I've nothing to do at work. You can, occasionally get in some good discussions and have a good laugh.

I cannot stand threads about alcohol, dieting, eating or clothing size however. They attract rapid teetotalers who yell alcoholic more than pensioners yell Bingo!

And the competitive under eaters that make the pro-anorexia sites I used to frequent look like a food lovers group.

And I swear, If I read "because a vanity sizing a size 6 now is really like a size 18" one more time...

@DorisDances

I agree with not liking the use of the word.

However I think it's a signifier/marker for those who want to be "robust" on here and who like to let folk know they're "comfortable with all words in the English lexicon and all language including words designed to hurt women".

Etc.

If you take offence, you're sometimes portrayed as ill-educated or somewhat prissy/lower class even

Good - the genuine, helpful advice.

Bad - swearing - no need for it, you have to time to think about what you are typing, you haven't just dropped something on your toe and yelled some expletive.

I also think MNHQ are too trigger happy on zapping threads.

The allowing of the Meghan Markle bashing threads.

@fijreflycaramel it's never let me it just automatically posts there even if you select chat or whatever

MNHQ deleted threads that a lot of people are interested in because they don't believe it "is in the spirit of the site". I'd mind less if the censorship was more even handed. I've seen threads and comments about certain people deleted just because they are certain people and other comments which are totally defamatory left standing.

And I swear, If I read "because a vanity sizing a size 6 now is really like a size 18" one more time...

And have you noticed how the difference is increasing? A couple of years ago a 6 was equivalent to a 12, now it has gone up to 18 - by June it will be a 22.

*And have you noticed how the difference is increasing? A couple of years ago a 6 was equivalent to a 12, now it has gone up to 18 - by June it will be a 22.&

According to this site if you aren't shopping in the children's section you're massively overweight and just don't realize it because there are so many fatties around you've lost all perception of reality.

So many memories of pro-anorexia site. They will be advising people to eat cotton balls next cause they are filling.

MNHQ deleted threads that a lot of people are interested in because they don't believe it "is in the spirit of the site". I'd mind less if the censorship was more even handed. I've seen threads and comments about certain people deleted just because they are certain people and other comments which are totally defamatory left standing.

Yeah, I’m not sure I am really on board with ‘the spirit of Mumsnet’ as it seems to be a pretty flexible thing. Perhaps it could be codified and then posters could decide whether they agree with it and feel comfortable posting here?

Double Prime example: they've just deleted a thread about Kobe Bryant because "it's not in the spirit of MN and also, a child died" in AIBU. There's another thread on the same subject in Chat that is still standing.

Those who get offended by colloquial terms, such as girls, boys, and what constitutes as elderly.
It’s pathetic, and people need to thank their lucky stars that that is all they have to be offended about.

Parking threads - Snooze.

Every time I’ve looked on the relationships board it’s a case of telling the OP they need to move on and LTB.
I once saw that an OP’s partner did something a DECADE earlier which hurt them, and they were looking for some advice on how to move past it, and they were told to break up their family over it. 🙄 Recent or repeated issues, sure leave them, but something done 10 years prior and not done again? No.

I actually quite like the threads written by people who are obviously lying, they’re entertaining and as long as they’re not asking for money or items, absolutely harmless.
I don’t really get invested in them though, I suppose if I did then I’d be upset.

Also the people on the decorating boards are very nice, though some are obsessed with F&B paint, which I find a pile of shite - sorry!

The amount of blatant froth stirring bollocks.

Watermelon Oh yes, women can call each other girls, but men can't. If a man uses that term on here, he gets his arse handed to him on a plate within six replies.

MNHQ always delete threads about racism even though they are informative and interesting. It's nonsense.

they've just deleted a thread about Kobe Bryant because "it's not in the spirit of MN and also, a child died" in AIBU. There's another thread on the same subject in Chat that is still standing.

Indeed, although I suspect that will go soon too. I’m not sure I’m really up for the spirit of MN being ‘don’t speak ill of the dead’ though.

My personal bugbear is ‘only on MN do people say [x]’. Never true. What the poster means is that no one they know in real life says things like that, and that for me is the strength of MN, that it takes me outside my bubble. I actively want to read MN posters saying things I don’t hear in my own life, whether I learn from it or argue with it. When people post that it feels like they want a very closed life! There aren’t enough diverse meeting points out there, virtual or not.