What do you like/dislike about MN ?

[Phoenixxx]

It's great to have an array of replies and opinions when you post, to know that others are in the same situation, to have something that has helped me to identify red flags and signs of abuse. To have people cheer you up and people to talk to any time of the day.
The only thing I dislike are the small number of posters who will criticise you no matter what you write, who make cruel comments.

Like: there are a lot of intelligent posters, there are interesting people with different perspectives that have changed my mind on things, there are lots of different sections where you can discuss things other than parenting ranging from politics to the weather, people can be very supportive, people will be honest and there isn’t the ‘your bub, your rules’ ethos that exists elsewhere, the moderation allows a lot of free speech (inc. swearing!).

Dislikes: aggression when there is just no need, some more entrenched views on certain things that I find unfair (step parents in particular), pile ons, lack of tolerance and ability to disagree gracefully, and exactly what Offthread said about FWR. I think I’m fairly gender critical and it was was those boards that I can thank for introducing me to the complexity of the issue. But recently it’s gone down a rabbit warren and seems to be getting more right wing and intolerant each week. The Sargon stuff as an example.

But by and large I like it (obviously, I’m here!).

Like: The FWR threads and the number of intelligent women on there.
Dislike: Goady posters and the manipulation of language on the fwr threads.

Like - There are so many witty posters on here

Dislike - AIBU can be vicious, I think people lose all empathy and forget there is a real person behind the OP

I’ve also been surprised and saddened at the amount of anti trans sentiment on here

reading different opinions
hearing from people with similar issues

Hate
the one sided view i.e. it's ok if it's a woman doing something that a man would be blasted for
the majority view that anywhere north of Watford Gap are living in the dark ages
only RG unis are the only places to go to and that vocational qualifications are only for 'thick people '

I like that the vast majority of posters try to be helpful, whether that’s with relationship advice, finding a discontinued child’s’ toy, SN issues or whatever. Despite the size of the site, there’s a strong sense of community.

What I dislike are the (growing number of) arseholes who nit-pick, belittle or just generally try to make others feel like shit. That said, there was one yesterday on a Coronavirus thread, and they were very robustly challenged, so again, I think the overall spirit here is positive.

The 100s of replies to threads where the OP has posted about a fairly mundane situation like not wanting to give someone a lift with either a place marking comment or posting texts for the OP to send. It’s just so overly invested and 🙄. Sometimes they are trolls but sometimes the OP just wants some perspective, not 100s of posters making it into a big drama.

I've noticed that you can't post about a relationship or dating issue, you're told to end it or move on.

Life isn't that simple.

There is no left and right. Only left and wrong.

It’s good to hear ideas and opinions from others. It can give you a different perspective and point of view. I like the support for those in difficult circumstances.

I dislike posters who ask for advice and suggestions and totally ignore them. There always seems to be a reason why they are right and everyone else is foolish and wrong.

I struggle with lengthy posts that don’t have any SPAG or paragraphs because it’s hard to decipher them.

I would like an edit function,

Likes:
(1) that so many of my questions have already been asked. If I want to compare kitchen companies, or kids martial arts, or find info on towns in the Peaks with the best schools, all it takes is to search Talk.
(2) it provides a forum for sensible discussion on issues where free speech no longer exists without reprisal in the real world, eg on the impact of some trans lobbyists on womens’ rights.
(3) It can be a fantastic support for women trying to leave abusive relationships. I even saw one thread where someone local to the victim offered to go collect her and take her to a refuge.
(4) AIBU can be hilarious.

Dislikes:
(1) How every relationships thread has people screaming “LTB” for very minor reasons despite the damage this could clearly cause in some cases.
(2) People are weirdly aggressive. Don’t agree with me? No problem! Why get all worked up and nasty?
(3) Stealth boasting.
(4) Posts beginning “If you want a man’s opinion...” I get bombarded with male opinions all day, it’s not why I seek out a site called Mumsnet.

Like the wit, humour, intelligence and feminist threads. And the breadth, from the serious to celebrating the very ordinary.
Dislike the people so clearly looking for a fight, being aggressive to good-faith offers of help. And of course the troublemakers stirring it up, pretending not to know something that they can easily find here, and trawling MN for supposed offence.

HillAreas
There is no left and right. Only left and wrong.

Maybe on here but in the real world there's only Right and wrong.

I like the variety, and the quick wit an humour often in evidence.

I dislike the dishonesty and the way people wilfully misrepresent the views of others.

I also dislike the bigotry on display daily against men. It is very often hateful and casually dehumanising, bordering on hate speech, and that MN Towers are completely fine with it.

I also dislike the tendency to wind people with problems up for the drama rather than to offer calm, considered views.

I posted about 5 months ago, didn't say anything offensive whatsoever, it was a relationship issue. I was told I 'lived in a fantasy world, was deluded, very immature, obsessive, must be about 19' to name a few. I reported it and the thread got shut down. I was very harshly criticised when I hadn't actually done anything to hurt or offend anyone. I remember the usernames of several of the posters. I felt so embarrassed and kept writing that I didn't want people commenting on it anymore, MN wouldn't shut the thread down for 30 days. I deleted my account for a while after that and vowed never to go back on it, but I decided to give it another try and there have been some lovely posters on here. I consider it cyberbullying.

I was also told on that thread that I 'severely needed professional help'.

All the aggression.
All the troll posts and made up nonsense.
Certain posters with fantastical made up lives. 🙄

I'm not an unintelligent person, but I really don't get the feminist stuff on here ( as in I can't make head nor tail of the threads). It feels like a private club for the initiated.
Pity really, especially as I consider myself a feminist

Some of the advice given is terrible! I give it a stiff ignoring.

The employment / pregnancy boards are useful though.

I also dont get all these threads that start with: "NC because this could be outing" then it goes on to describe something ridiculously generic like "My son loves pizza!" or something equally as tedious.

WTF? There are hundreds of people on MN and presumably noone is using their real name as their screen name so how on earth could it be "outing". Who the fck remembers every detail that every poster on here has ever posted? It always comes across as a bit self important that you'd think anyone would know or even care who you are in really life

DH’s “hobby”.

How angry people get over an anonymous post. I posted how I was starting an NHS job knowing I would be leaving with a few months. I got all sorts of aggressive, nasty replies...”how dare you, you are SELFISH OP.”

Well none of those opinions stopped me! I started and quit two months later once my security clearance for a much better job came through. Two months of pay came in handy.

I bet some lovely MNetters wet themselves with rage over that! 😂

Someone suggested earlier that they wouldn't be sure they would feel like living if they lost their parents. Another poster wrote that that was 'highly insulting' to everyone whose parents had died because they were suggesting they didn't love them enough if they had carried on living .. 🙄
I honestly think stuff on here really needs to be taken with a pinch of salt sometimes, though it's easy to say of course.

Phoenixxx - take it ALL with a pinch of salt, it’s mostly bullshit! Semi entertaining though sometimes.

Yes you're right ! There are some very funny threads, like the nightmare date stories.

I like being able to periodically name change. However, I think there should be limits. For example, one name change per week. That would allow people to name change for privacy reasons, without being able to switch back and forth between a normal account and a troll account. Or maybe stop name changing within threads, once you’ve posted on a thread under one name, all your subsequent responses should be automatically posted under that name. It would avoid sock puppets as well as name change fails.