What do you like/dislike about MN ?

[Phoenixxx]

It's great to have an array of replies and opinions when you post, to know that others are in the same situation, to have something that has helped me to identify red flags and signs of abuse. To have people cheer you up and people to talk to any time of the day.
The only thing I dislike are the small number of posters who will criticise you no matter what you write, who make cruel comments.

Dislike the projection on here too.

It’s usually about friendship issues, op says they’ve been fucked over by a so called friend cue pages of “this is why I don’t bother with friends”, “people are horrible, you’re better off on your own” etc.

It’s ridiculous advice, devoid of all hope and resilience.

I dislike the double standards when men post on MN. Wife has an affair and pp ask if he does housework, helps with the kids etc.

I like the fact that I've learned a lot about the trials and tribulations of blended families from different perspectives...this helps with my work in supporting my clients.

I like and dislike others things, but they are the main ones.

I happened to stumble across MN when doing an assignment...it was helpful.

Like the kindness and support, wealth of knowledge on relationships and abuse. The useful tips and tricks. The insight to the general population. The humour.

Dislike placemarking. Just watch the thread and use the bookmark. I dont mind people disagreeing, but I do mind people saying how rude! When there is no rudeness involved. Also dislike unnecessary nastiness.

NHS Defenders and smug eco neurotics are unique to the mums of MN and I would like to vaporise them.

When OP announces at the beginning that she name-changed for this post. Why announce it? How does it change anything? Do we need this information? We don’t know who she is in the first place and what she posted before.

The cringe shit like "fuck off to the far side of fuck". Makes me think of a 10 year old who just learnt a new swear word.

The uptightness of some people. There are some who seriously need to unclench - everything is rude, they must spend their lives being offended. I'm not talking about sexism, racism etc, I'm talking about stuff like "the man in the shop didn't smile at me".

The fact that so many people deny there is racism in the UK.

But overall, most of the posters are intelligent and give great replies.

I like that there's no "you go mama" or "my little man" shite.

Like: the funny threads and some of the long-running ones, which have a nice feel. The range of topics and opinions.

Dislike: the pile-ons. One I remember was a woman with PND, who was struggling with her dogs and considering rehoming them. You’d think she’d said she was considering setting fire to them or selling them to Cruella De’Ville. She needed support, not an online mobbing! It’s a tendency that’s put me off posting many times, because I just knew that if the wrong people saw my thread it would turn into a thoroughly unpleasant experience.

Like: vast array of users personalities and experiences and how we all have the power to show empathy and kindness. Loved(!!!!!) The classics threads when I was lonely on maternity leave. Had me in hysterics!

Dislike: the ignorance of some posters and for not realising we come here to confess, rant and moan in a forum for an ear or support or just to know that someone is listening and cares. I hate the trolls who post about serious topics. No conscience.

I love the wit.

I dislike the responders who are determined to find some overlooked reason for the unreasonable behaviour in the OP that would mean the poster was xenophobic/ disablist/ snobby/ thick as a brick.
A) My BIL (no SEN or MH) called me a fucking bitch and threatened to shut my fucking mouth for me, when I asked if he’d mind lighting up outside when ILs visited our newborn at our flat yesterday. I’m still shaken up.

D) Not all SEN or MH problems are diagnosed OP, BIL may be dependent on smoking to manage his anxiety. You confronting him in front of his own family at an emotional time could have made him feel backed into a corner and defensive.

Like: seeing breadth of issues ppl deal with. Life's tribulations etc.

Dislike: the pile ons are particularly bad. I have seen several posts where it seems like a new mum has PND or PNA and she's worried about leaving her baby/baby being hurt. The cruelty in the responses 'you're a loon' ' FFS get a grip' 'your baby is not the fucking second coming' is shameful and I have seen a few like that that have led to full pile ons.

I love the sheer wealth of information and thoughts here on politics, books, feminism etc. And scary though the Relationships board can be, it has really shifted my perspectives on loads of past behaviours from men that I'd simply accepted as normal.

There are some good, kind and bloody funny people here.

The negatives: the abbreviations are twee and a little childish and make longer posts difficult to read.

There is a very literal stance on things too often: there is often a real difficulty in accepting that two conflicting things can both be true at exactly the same time, which makes it hard to find really nuanced discussion on a range of topics.

Love the recommends sections
Hate the never ending transphobia festering away jumping on all and every topic it seems

Like - The huge amount of information and advice. Not just in current topics but in old ones as well.
That someone who is alone or feels alone and is going through domestic violence or child rearing issues can instantly get advice and support from other women.

The humour and witty replies.
Women of all backgrounds coming together to support each other

Dislike - The class divide. Mumsnet seems to be disproportionately middle class politically correct compared to the population in general
The inevitable closing down of certain topics, for example ongoing extremely serious gang crimes in the North of England, impacting tens of thousands of victims/families. Yet other serious crime topics, in London for example, stay active
Personal attacks in debates and pack mentality.
Posters correcting spelling mistakes or 'humorous' topics devoted to working class illiteracy rates

I also love that you get people living in well over a million pound houses happy to give advice and chat about £100k terraces.

You know who you are!

...Also like the 'my cleaner' topics for being unintentionally funny or revealing. Depending on the context, I sometimes replace the word cleaner with servant in my mind as I read them.

I hate the competitive how little I eat, I don’t put my heating on until 1 December, I wash towels and bedding every hour on the hour, I shower four times a day and if you don’t you’re ‘grim’. There’s a thread going on at the moment where they’re all trying to outdo each other about how many hours a day they leave windows open to air their houses. It’s bizarre.

@AllergicToAMop there's a person (or people) on Etsy who makes pencil cases out of roadkill. Mainly squirrels... Perhaps that's what all these DH's have been up to...

I think MN is incredible - hugely amusing, amazingly helpful, sometimes very sad or rage-inducing. Always excellent to see other people’s side of the argument and how people other than my own social circle think/live.

It’s actually a fantastic online community IMO. There are specific leanings towards certain things, so you know how a number of threads will “go”, but it’s an endless font of varied knowledge and advice, and that in itself is invaluable.

there's a person (or people) on Etsy who makes pencil cases out of roadkill. Mainly squirrels... Perhaps that's what all these DH's have been up to...

😂😮😂

I like being able to send to those that need no words just our thoughts.

I like the fun on Masterchef threads.

People announce name changing because there will invariably be one or two shitheads who pop up to say something brilliant and witty like “first post OP?” With a sarcastic smiley and the implication that OP must be a troll

I hate the troll hunting and the "ODFOD" that people think is witty.

I love the kindness without sugarcoating everything; there's blunt honesty mixed with sound advice and it's refreshing.

I hate that there are many threads with a competitive edge to them; ones that involve judgement of a woman for her looks, weight, size, diet etc whilst mired in faux sympathy with no real gain are pointless and should be verboten.

I love that on the aforementioned threads about women's size/weight etc the OP always, always has their arse handed to them pleasantly.

The male posters. Can't stand them.

Love the intelligence of MN users, broadly speaking. Very refreshing.

What is "ODFOD"?