What do you like/dislike about MN ?

[Phoenixxx]

It's great to have an array of replies and opinions when you post, to know that others are in the same situation, to have something that has helped me to identify red flags and signs of abuse. To have people cheer you up and people to talk to any time of the day.
The only thing I dislike are the small number of posters who will criticise you no matter what you write, who make cruel comments.

Forgot to say what I liked. The feminist board and the advice given on the relationship board. Without that advice and help to leave an abusive marriage I am not sure how things would have turned out for me and my children. Their childhoods would have been desperately unhappy and toxic. It's a great resource,

I have found MN invaluable for perspectives on domestic abuse of all kinds & the practical steps that you can take to move on - IRL for me it's been very hard to find this & hard to discuss with anyone.

The humour & quick-witted replies are great!

This may sound sad but I like the community element of seeing what people are saying / doing / experiencing in a daily basis. My life is mostly a long day at work, running around after 3 kids & it can be lonely. I have got a sense of companionship from MN (I'd have sneered at the very thought of an online forum helping with loneliness but it has!)

I hate, really hate, how nasty some replies are. It should be possible to give your views without savaging people.

I really am disappointed with the amount of made up posts. I'm getting a bit more discerning but I have fallen for many posts before!

And (sorry about this) I do hate the posts that have poor S&G, even tho I don't agree with slating people because of it.

Oh another like - I'm in Ireland & I'm fascinated by the UK perspective. I mean, I'd have thought we were pretty similar but there are loads of shops, restaurants, chains that aren't here, school stuff is SO different, people have 'tea' in the evenings (& I've learnt that tea / dinner / supper nomenclature is a 'thing' with meaning ).

I love it all 😂

Like: The content and humour has made me laugh. Much needed when you’re having a rough time.

Dislike: Attempts to patronise/belittle and or dictate what someone’s view point should be. It’s highly arrogant, unnecessary and hostile.

I like the support and the humour and I love the information you can find.

I don't like the spite, people are really vitriolic and abusive as if they would speak to another human like that in RL. I hate the thread hijackers, it's not your thread if you want to talk about you start your own thread. Same the idiots that grasp a tiny part the op that has nothing to do with the general gist of the question, then they just run with it.

Like - there was once a good chance that something on MN would give me a daily laugh and I live in hope. Dislike - witty posts are fewer as someone's bound to take offence and spend lots of time bickering over nothing.

I really despise those LTB threads. No balance or nuance just LTB.
(I'm not talking about DV btw)

Honestly i'm fucking sick of some of the nastiness on here, i'm not strong enough to deal with it and tempted to delete my account for good.

Dislike:
The piling on.
Malicious reporting of posts because you may have sworn or something - but we all know it's because you disagreed with them.
Could you not have googled that?

Like that you can ask almost any obscure question and someone will know the answer.

I love the wise posters, the support for women in dysfunctional relationships who are supported to realise they deserve better.

Positioning is everything though on here, if someone posts 'why don't my family help with my dc, they're all retired millionaire's - I'd love them to babysit' they will likely get their arse handed to them 😂. In RL most families do seem to help each other out but on here that expectation is a red flag to a bull.

Also really dislike any poster that uses the word brat. Usually followed by 'kids today are snowflakes parented by weak idiots and this is why society is going to hell in a hand basket, bring back the cane'. Of course in their day everyone bwas

(oops, posted too soon) ... respectful and the generation that followed didn't have any issues at all...oh wait. No.

I like to imagine what would the other side of some situations say. I so so wish we could magically conjure them up😂
Because obviously OP will get YANBU in here since they will portray themselves that way.
With some exceptions who were really quite bizzare.

Like -
The name change ability.
Lots of people, lots of different views.

Dislike -
The virtue signalling.
The 'Nobody on benefits can be cheating', that's bollocks.
All the trans threads, people can do what they want, some people like it some don't, I hate that some people are shut down from quite valid viewpoints.

Like: supportive, helpful, sometimes funny
Dislike: all men are lying cheating rapists, we wouldn't accept such generalisations about coloured people or jewish or disabled so why are we so keen on this attitude to men.

Hate the double standards. Hate the anti trans stuff and hate being accused of being an MRA if I dare stick up for a man

I hate how people say “you need help OP, you sound like you have serious issues” in a faux sympathetic way. After reading a line of something the OP has written they diagnose them as having mental health problems.

Oh how could I forget...

I came here to get some unbiased relationship advice and realised it's worse than real life.

Every man is a narcissist. WTAF

I can't stand the perpetual derailing of threads with "if a hypothetical man said something that isn't actually what the op said , and ignoring the structural differences faced by this hypothetical man, he'd be torn to shreds so why are we supporting the op, it's not fair..." bollocks.

Not all men are rapists (nobody says they are), and not all situations are about the male experience.

Synecdoche. Shame the NAMALT crowd deliberately misunderstand it.

Like: the wit of some ppl; the genuine support some posters offer; threads suggesting Netflix / Prime shows, or books.

Dislike: every other thread having a slew of posters diagnosing BPD / NPD - honestly have been close to leaving over this. Told one poster to "fuck off" for being so ridiculous & she reported me.

Ppl who don't RTFT! Pages of shit that was cleared up by page 2.

LTB. And the OP excusing everything - you came on here (99% of time under AIBU) asking advice but shout every single piece of advice down. Stay miserable then. The epitome was someone posting after seeing a one of their old posts on here from 10 yrs ago - about the same shit!

Posters who can't bear to see swear words on threads. Who are swiftly followed on the thread by those who hate asterisked swear words. Ffs. Can't please anyone. I'm sweary! Don't try to tell ppl what words they can / cannot use - you're not the fucking head teacher.

Like: The humour
Dislike: OP’s that add stuff to their posts when the thread is going against them

I hate it when people just agree with the first person's opinion by copying it word for word. Say someone asks advice about daughter's friend at school, first person to respond says, "this is a safeguarding issue. Please report this to SENCo immediately!" Then 20 more people say the same, spread out, so not all done at same time.

Like: The humour, the education (I’ve learnt a fair bit since joining!), the support has been really fantastic through the hardest year of my life last year. I find the feminist board interesting but a little intimidating to those who aren’t regular posters there.

Dislike: Trolls (obviously), the permanently offended and those who over identify with an OP and set about attacking whomever they can on a thread who doesn’t agree with them. I also bloody hate that most scammer trolls always say they’ve got sodding twins because I fear that every time I mention my twins I’m going to be judged as a troll as well