What do you like/dislike about MN ?

[Phoenixxx]

It's great to have an array of replies and opinions when you post, to know that others are in the same situation, to have something that has helped me to identify red flags and signs of abuse. To have people cheer you up and people to talk to any time of the day.
The only thing I dislike are the small number of posters who will criticise you no matter what you write, who make cruel comments.

I was also told on that thread that I 'severely needed professional help'.

Yes - the patronising fake concern while calling someone a nutter, just to wind the OP up even more. Even when the subject matter is relatively uncontroversial and the OP hasn't said anything shocking or offensive.

On the plus side, there's a lot of humour here, and I'm endlessly fascinated by the trends in baby naming.

I dislike that so many posters lack the ability to post in the right section.

The "outing hobbies"🙄
Unless it's something like secretly making lamp shades from roadkill, it's not outing.

I love MN reading peoples post and sharing experiences. Most people are lovely. But I do find some people extremely rude and offensive for no reason.
Eg. Last night I posted to someone that I had exactly the same problem with my son but I'd missed a bit of the post somehow as it wasn't in her first post.
Another lady not OP. Was very rude to me and made rude comments about my son which I found extremely offensive and hurtful. For no reason just cause I'd missed a bit of the post and only commented on the first part as she added the other bit after. Why do people feel the need to be so rude and spiteful to people and their family. There is no need for it what so ever. X

Not secretly. I don't know that got there

Mimi I used to think like that but I've now been outed twice 😠 and so am a lot more cagey about what I write, how I write it and what threads I go on.

The "outing hobbies"🙄
Unless it's something like secretly making lamp shades from roadkill, it's not outing.

Then 10 pages in it turns out that DH is a cyclist

Like:
Some threads are hilarious - not always intentionally.
The funny things kids say/do ones
The advice & information you can get. I learnt about dual carriageways from a thread last week.

Dislike:
"He's a great dad but" - nope
"I'm not here for negative comments"
Any use of Hun
Baby name threads in AIBU - bog off to your own section

Then 10 pages in it turns out that DH is a cyclist grin

ridiculous, isn't it. Such an inefficient way to get roadkill🤔

Generally I think it’s a useful source of advice and a wonderful way to get different perspectives.

But I hugely dislike that often the strength/quality/number of replies depends on how long the OP has been around (I’ve found out the hard way when I’ve name changed to ask for help with a delicate situation). Not fair and not necessary.

Love - the humour, some very funny people on here. Woolly hugs and the care and compassion shown by posters.

Don't like/hate - troll hunters, especially on threads where it doesn't matter. The food wankers, the scarily black and white parents (I regularly hope some people are making stuff up).

I like the 'can you see a line posts'. Sometimes they have a happy ending, sometimes sad. The hope in the op brings a tear to my eye.
I like the support that women are giving to other women.
Such a breadth of knowledge on here ask almost anything and people try to help and advise. (Yes sometimes it's not the best but usually you can see that)
I got really cross with a thread earlier. Op posted something that was a crazy idea but you could see she was struggling to navigate an issue and thinking of her dd. Nearly all of the replies were measured but totally against the idea. Some posts were so vicious, especially when the op took everything on board and saw that her plan was not the right path. But still posters continued to be vile to her. That's the side of mn I don't like.

I am a bit surprised about the sheer number of should I do this, or go to this wedding, party, et al

Can people not make a decision of whether they want to go or not.

Another dislike:
When there's one post about a topic and then there's more posts about the same topic despite the answers being exactly the same. This week there were three posts within a day all about having a baby in your 40s that all basically said the same thing.

The voting option on AIBU is good and bad. The fact that it seems to be a default really highlights the misuse of AIBU as people often have a poll enabled which makes no sense.

I hate placemarkers and would ban people who do it.

I sometimes despair at the number of women not being able to decide anything or stand up for themselves. I am obviously not talking DV. I am talking normal life situations. Or answer the door (doesn't mean you have to open them!).
I have never encountered this in my circle of friends and seeing it in here so much makes me actually worry about womankind tbh.

On the other hand, some posters here have such a great humour it's totally worth it to be here.

I love the support that you can get on here. I've found it invaluable in many respects. I also love how varied the site is in terms of people's experiences.

I hate the anti trans rubbish that gets spouted. I would consider myself a feminist but I stay well clear of that board for the above reason.
It often feels like the majority of posters are very middle/upper class and can be quite judgey at times.

@PhoneLock - agreed, perhaps I lead a sheltered life but I don't know anyone who speaks like this.

I like it when there's a really interesting discussion, such as the thread about weird childhood experiences at other people's houses.

But these are becoming vanishingly rare. I used to look forward to finding an interesting discussion on MN. Now "active discussions" is a bingo card of highly predictable threads which have been done to death: I'm fumming or fewmin, parking, shoes on or off, answering the front door, obsessive hygiene, log it with 101, it's not Santa it's Father Christmas, I hate summer, we should all be vegan, I don't want my DCs being indoctrinated by MIL who goes to church, etc.

It shouldn't be a surprise anymore that so many women on here are in relationships where there is serious financial disparity between them (as SAHMs) and their (self-important "I work hard") partners. But I am shocked every time.

I often come on here for information about current affairs and so forth. It's easy to imagine that the bubble one lives in is "real," but then you see others' points of view (e.g the aftermath of the recent General Election) and it's quite sobering.

I hate all the LTB knee-jerk reactions, as well as the "anyone who buys a puppy from anywhere is evil, especially if it's a poodle-cross."

And I had a RL friend confide in me recently about a suspicion her dp might be having an affair. On here, I confess I'd have been honest about my thoughts. In RL, I was looking to console her as much as possible and suggest it was all innocent.

Love all the women supporting each other, in the relationships threads especially.

Love the humour.

Hate the anti-trans propaganda that has taken over feminist chat, and the idea that if you believe trans women are women, you are not a feminist and don't understand women's issues.

Shaming and policing. Telling people how odd, vicious, unhinged, vitriolic, full of hate and so on they are for holding a not particularly extreme opinion they aren't in agreement with. They'd never do it in RL and it wouldn't be ok to but they do it here. It always happened but has got much worse as social media has become more popular, especially twitter. The way people communicate on Twitter has filtered to sites like this. Tiresome and draining to deal with.

I dislike the fact people often shit on other people for having opinions they personally don't agree with.

The dress size/weight threads are often depressing. They often turn into women shitting on each other which is sad.

However, it's a good forum for advice and there are posters I imagine I might share common ground with.

The people who come on to say "it's none of your business"... Well yes of course it fucking isn't. But nevertheless, it's interesting to see if people share my curiosity at why someone would do that. You know, like every single fucking human interaction you may not agree with.