DS(8) strange obsession

[Namechangelar]

Okay so I’ve NC for this as very outing, but I’d like some opinions about my son and where I should draw the line and possibly some suggestions as to why my son is like this.

My DS is nearly 8 and for some time he has had an obsession with things that are very old. He loves history, but this is next level. For Christmas he asked Santa for an old oil painting similar to one we had seen in a charity shop. We thought he’d forget about it as what kid wants one of those, but he went on about it for weeks until we were at the point of we can’t not get it because it would ruin Christmas! He is nearly 8 ffs!

What concerns us is that this isn’t the first odd gift, he got some money for Christmas and now has a collection of thimbles and old carriage clocks, prior that he has bought items such as an old mirror and and old trinket box. My grandpas house is more modern than his bedroom so it’s not like this is a role model scenario, but the place looks like an old girls house clearance.

He is into “normal” 8 year old boy things too, Lego, wrestlers, reading books etc but this year for his birthday he has asked for an old carpet and I just cannot deal. These are not normal requests and whilst I thought I’d be very much you like what you like, I’m not seeing the no fucks side because I feel it’s a pattern of strange behaviour and I don’t know how to deal with the situation the best.

I can’t take him into charity shops without him wanting to look through all the knickknack crap, it’s painful, he begs me to let him spend his money on a porcelain dog and a pocket watch! It’s not even old cars etc, just pure crap.

We are lucky to have a large living area so when friends come to play they don’t have to see his room and I feel awful for even saying that, but I don’t want him to be bullied at school just for liking all this old toot! Is this just a phase he will grow out of or could there be something underlying here? As time goes on I think it’s more than just being an old soul, he wouldn’t be bothered if I said no clubs or tv if he was naughty, but if I took the flipping oil painting away for a week I think he’d feel that was the biggest punishment from the above.

Any suggestions MN?

That's sweet, maybe he'll grow up to be a historian.

I would look at why this is bothering you. Your son will pick up on you not approving of his personality. Why do you think he should only fit into your idea of how an 8 year old should behave? I find that and not your son, very odd.

Think of it as Victoriana - all that steam punk stuff, antiques and brass and knickknacks is a 'thing'

My kids went through a phase of hunting down and hoarding those little plastic doodads from the neck of shop coathangers....

My son is obsessed with animals - animals like pangolins, shifakas and dusky pademelons. His best friend is obsessed with bells. Within their group of friends there is someone obsessed with trains, someone obsessed with Marvel and someone obsessed with numbers and all things mathematical. They are all 6/7 years. They know each others interests and embrace them, while finding a way to play that includes everyone.

Let your son be who he is and he will find his own way.

Sadly I do think if other kids knew he liked that stuff he might get bullied for it so I'd at the very least explain that to him. It's definitely very weird for a kid to like those things, especially asking for an old carpet.

My five year old daughter is obsessed with Debbie McGee. I love her. (And Debbie obvs)

@Luckystar depends on the personality of the child in my experience.

Shy children will get bullied regardless, confident ones could turn up to school in a monocle and waistcoat and get away with it.

It sucks but it's the way of the world.

I love pangolins 10storey but I’m going to have to google the others! :o

Kids are usually very accepting of each other’s interests IME, more so than adults.

I don't see the carpet ask as that odd tbh. It sounds as though he's slowly decorating his room to match his interest. My DC love Harry Potter. Their room is full of posters; Hogwarts flags, wands, etc. I think it's quite common to have an interest/theme that takes over your room as a DC.
I can't tell if its the area of interest (history) or the 'obsession' that's bothering you OP. Either way, it's standard for DCs to have very strong interests. As PPs have said, it will either fade or it won't. Neither is a problem.

I loved this sort of stuff too as a child but my parents couldn't afford to just buy me 'stuff' so I didn't get lots. Particularly loved old books with that funny smell. People used to give me any spare coins from foreign holidays and I kept them in this antique French matchbox. I still have them now! An older, very artistic lady we knew had an amazing house filled with all sorts of antiquities and collections and every now and then she would give us something. My sister and I both still own the trinket boxes she gave us. I think he sounds completely normal, tbh. Older things are fascinating to lots of people. I've always been drawn to different textures etc and have a huge interest in interior design. I love looking around antique/vintage/second hand/charity shops etc. I very rarely get to do it because I don't have anybody else who shares this interest but my husband does allow me free reign in the house. My current partiular interests are Art Deco and seventies. Perhaps he'll be a collector, antiques dealer or an interior designer! The oil paintings and rugs are actually very cool right now, if you take a look at a blog like sfgirlbybay you'll see how many photos containing those items are featured, often mixed with other styles. I was quite an inquisitive child and these sorts of things sparked my imagination. My other big collection was dead crab parts. Far more weird I suppose. I was fascinated by dead things in general, not because they were dead, but because I was always wondering how things worked and this gave me a chance to see inside and look at how the joints moved. My mom did periodically get rid of the collection as it smelt pretty fishy.

I think he sounds brilliant and interesting and like one day he’ll be a famous expert on something obscure and be invited to be on a tv show as a delightfully eccentric character with massive expertise and passion.

You sound very embarrassed. He sounds wonderful. Support him. Help him with his interests and his collections and learn more about them. Surely it’s better than him being an aggressive little Fortnite fanatic?

That 'old pocket watch' might be gold, might be by a famous maker and worth thousands! More interesting than old cars!

Ok we had similar and we ended up buying books so he could read and look at the pictures over & over again. We explained that we loved his passion but we didn't have the money or the space to keep buying stuff.

You can easily get a book about "the history of toys" or similar.

your DS sounds great. His passion might turn into a career. Please don't be embarrassed!

Maybe I just know a lot of oddballs, but your son doesnt sound particularly unusual. Cant you celebrate who he is a bit more, rather than who you want him to be

He sounds absolutely lovely. It is an unusual hobby but so interesting. Does he like to read about history too or watch any of those daytime shows like Bargain hunt? We might be reading about a twelve year old making a million at Sotherbys one day!

The way you've written this sounds like you're embarrassed by him and his interests.

I agree.

OP your DS sounds amazing.

I have DD’s with some odd obsessions, they are both on the autistic spectrum, I always encourage healthy obsessions as they can learn from them. Your DS can learn a lot from his obsession with old things. Take him to a auction house, car boot sales and antique shops. My ex husband works in a auction house and has learnt a lot over the years, not just about old things but about history and how things have changed over 100’s of years. People who specialise in things such as fine art or ceramics can earn quite a lot of money.

Let him like what he likes. Your job is to teach him to be himself and have the confidence to defend his choices not to be afraid of doing anything different in case people think it's weird.

And like one of the posters on page one, my daughter has an obsession with calculators, especially scientific ones 🤣

Look here OP. www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/paul-atterbury/antiques-roadshow/GOR008786645

He sounds super cool! You could buy him a metal detector and get out there in the fields finding old coins and stuff. I knew a young lad who had found some brilliant stuff that way.

I'd love to spend hours rooting through curiosity shops with a little enthusiast. My DS(9) loves Caithness paperweights- it's seen as a treat to go and comb a charity shop to see if they've got one!

Just been talking to my OH about this. He is a creative and his view is how amazing! The fact that at the age of 8 he is aesthetically aware is something to support and embrace. In his words - Mozart wrote his first symphony age 8 - he could be a genius in the making

And this book www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/robert-opie/remember-when/GOR002580709

Anyway don't be ashamed. My DS is obsessed with jewellery hallmarks and rocks / minerals

Oooo I did in my early teens! Watched Steptoe and Son and listened to Elvis on my record player! - This was in the early 00's. My parents thought I was extremely weird. I'd be so proud if either DS was like yours!

At Christmas my mum brought out a CD player to play an Xmas CD and he was like "OMG look at that old fashioned thing!" laughing his head off... I suddenly felt very very old

Mine isn't a "conventional" 7yr old boy either though. He loves singing and theatre, and is in a singing club with his best friend (female). Wants to do drama club next year. I love that it's getting more popular with the boys but it's still something where people when you tell them and start talking about how their son is the next Messi - 300 Messi's coming through in the next 10 years apparently, football better watch out!