DS(8) strange obsession

[Namechangelar]

Okay so I’ve NC for this as very outing, but I’d like some opinions about my son and where I should draw the line and possibly some suggestions as to why my son is like this.

My DS is nearly 8 and for some time he has had an obsession with things that are very old. He loves history, but this is next level. For Christmas he asked Santa for an old oil painting similar to one we had seen in a charity shop. We thought he’d forget about it as what kid wants one of those, but he went on about it for weeks until we were at the point of we can’t not get it because it would ruin Christmas! He is nearly 8 ffs!

What concerns us is that this isn’t the first odd gift, he got some money for Christmas and now has a collection of thimbles and old carriage clocks, prior that he has bought items such as an old mirror and and old trinket box. My grandpas house is more modern than his bedroom so it’s not like this is a role model scenario, but the place looks like an old girls house clearance.

He is into “normal” 8 year old boy things too, Lego, wrestlers, reading books etc but this year for his birthday he has asked for an old carpet and I just cannot deal. These are not normal requests and whilst I thought I’d be very much you like what you like, I’m not seeing the no fucks side because I feel it’s a pattern of strange behaviour and I don’t know how to deal with the situation the best.

I can’t take him into charity shops without him wanting to look through all the knickknack crap, it’s painful, he begs me to let him spend his money on a porcelain dog and a pocket watch! It’s not even old cars etc, just pure crap.

We are lucky to have a large living area so when friends come to play they don’t have to see his room and I feel awful for even saying that, but I don’t want him to be bullied at school just for liking all this old toot! Is this just a phase he will grow out of or could there be something underlying here? As time goes on I think it’s more than just being an old soul, he wouldn’t be bothered if I said no clubs or tv if he was naughty, but if I took the flipping oil painting away for a week I think he’d feel that was the biggest punishment from the above.

Any suggestions MN?

I agree with everyone. he sounds a fascinating fun little kid.

My older DS is similar. He has developed very deep interests in things. I really like it because i learn loads about things I would other have no exposure to (like details about the dinner service sets that were made for the White Star cruise line). He's 10 now and his interests are fascinating. For his 8th birthday i bought him a framed blueprint of a Cunard paddlesteamer I saw in a marine antiquarian shop. He has also recently developed an interest in Minecraft, and other 'normal' things

Children's interests are as varied as adults. Embrace.

At his age I was collecting old coins and loved antique jelly moulds. I got a degree in archaeology and ancient history because I loved history so much. Let him be, it's harmless.

Oh wow, I think your son sounds amazing. What an interesting person and he still enjoys regular kids toys too. Don't be hard on him. Maybe explore the items he wants from charity shops with him online or from books. Does he like item as he feels it will have value money wise or does he like it becausevof his curiosity. Explain to him that you can' t keep buying everything due to clutter. But if he saves his money and does research he could buy key pieces. Encourage him he might make a career out of this in time. Be proud of him.

At around that age my sister became obsessed with bugs and all sorts of crawlies. She'd collect them and bring them home and keep them alive 'to observe' them (it caused many of near heart attacks for my arachnophobic self to wake up in a room with a spider, or for my mum who had a deep desire to get rid of the latest 'Johnny' a creepy bug my sister brought into the house)... Fast forward to today - she has a doctorate in molecular biology, heads a laboratory and is very successful in her field.

I think your son sounds amazing - his interest would be right up my alley. Please don't make him feel like he is doing something wrong. Some moderation for health and financial reasons is necessary but otherwise, please support him!

He sounds like a wonderful little boy. And I think I echo other posters but thinking it’s great to have such an interesting hobby. Who knows he could be an Antiques Roadshow expert in the future!

Why do people feel the need to call for OP names and criticise her. She might be misguided but has her sons best interests at heart. Saying you pity her, calling her vile and saying she sounds horrible just makes you look like a dick tbh.

Please tell me he watches Antiques roadshow. He sounds wonderful. Get him to the nearest car boot or antiques fair, as well.

My grandpas house is more modern than his bedroom

Oh OP, give the poor boy a break. He has an interest which he's enjoying exploring. Don't stamp all over that because it doesn't fit with your idea of "normal"

Why does this concern you? He's happy, and it hurts no one? I think it's amazing that he's found something different to love at such a young age and should be encouraged!

Let him be. There is nothing wrong with this whatsoever.

I was your son as a kid. I liked unusual niche things and one Christmas when I was a kid I asked my parents for a chinese vase (as old as possible). Now my parents couldn't afford something from the Ming dynasty lol but bless them, they scoured the shops and found an amazing painted vase which told a famous chinese story on the side. I bloody adored that vase and I still have it now. The reason I was into it was because in the 80s there was a TV show on called Empress Wu and I loved hearing about the culture and history. No other kid my age asked their parents for a chinese vase so I wonder if my parents thought I was odd- they never mentioned anything.

Anyway, fast forward to the present. I am perfectly well adjusted, have two uni degrees, lots of friends, a very responsible job, a husband and kids that I adore. So you see- all that indicates was that I was an imaginative thinker as a kid, it doesnt mean anything weird or odd. Your son sounds like a very bright and interesting lad. Be proud that your son knows what he likes and has the courage to be different. How boring would it be if all boys were exactly the same- I'm betting he'll go far.

Old stuff rocks! I would try to channel his collecting into what he's particularly interested in. Is it china? Or decorative glass? Or figurines? Then let him explore that. Get him watching teh Antiques Roadshow and Flog It. He'll soon be that expert spotting something on sale for 50p which is worth £500.

I can't see a problem other than you're the one actually judging your own son for his interests.

My DS was obsessed with old books about chimneys and trains about this age. He's almost 16 now and not at all interested in them anymore but I kind of wish he was.

I want to adopt your son! He sounds awesome.

I feel sad for your little boy. He sounds brilliant, interesting and curious with a soul.

When I was a child I remember turning my bedroom into a museum- I arranged a load of 'old stuff' (some borrowed from my Gran's house!) on a table in the middle of the room and invited my mum in for a guided tour. I had home made entry tickets and everything. I thought it was brilliant fun- my mum went along with it and did not think I was odd. I have grown up pretty normal now, although I still like old furniture and my lottery-win type property would be something really old- a castle or something like that.

I seem to have passed this onto one of my DC as there were several antique (or maybe 'tat' to you)purchases when she was at primary school age. As a teen she would put them away if friends were coming round, but she is has a place to study history at Uni so I don't think she is bothered if people see her as a history geek anymore.

Honestly OP your son will be fine, let him have his interest!

You can get mini carpets - like 1.5m x 70cm I think. Does it need to be antique or could a Moroccan-style or Chinese-style one do?

I love charity shops and old stuff. I wish my 8 year old took an interest

He sounds brilliant.
I’d encourage it, especially if he can work out how they work and maintain them. - they’ll be plenty of money in that when he’s older!

Without 'strange obsessions' there'd be no artists, no scientists, no philosophers, no visionaries, no mystics, no activists, no writers, no poets, no Michelangelo, no Picasso, no Shakespeare, no Dante, no Steven Spielberg, the list is literally endless - just grey unchanging small lives only getting interested in what's 'acceptable' and mass produced. Your child is himself, your job is to encourage him, not stifle him.

He sounds fabulous! I'd love to go looking for stuff with him!

He sounds great! I know a man who was like this as a child - and now has a niche and very valuable collection that would be almost impossible to build today. It also launched a career that has taken him around the world. You should be glad your son is an individual. And buy him a bit of old carpet if you're sure it hasn't got moths - it's probably cheaper than Lego. I'd take him to an archaeological salvage place - he'd love it!

@onalongsabbatical

SO true. How boring and grey would the world be without inspired and creative individuals such as those people. If they had rejected their "oddness" and just conformed to societal norms we'd be missing out on so much wonderful art

I think this is so cool, perhaps one day he will find a awful looking painting in a charity shop that turns out to be worth millions!

He sounds really cool. Embrace it and teach him to be proud of himself. He'll meet like minded people as he gets older.

What a great guy!
He's a collector with an astute eye for the unusual. He's curious, creative. This will manifest itself in such interesting ways when he's a teen.
I'm married to a collector, OP. And our DD is a collector as well.
We might be watching your son on Antiques Roadshow in a decade or so. Take him to antique fairs, charity shops, Portobello market (if you're in London- but not the tat outside on the street but the actual antique stalls inside). Old collectors have been there for decades, centuries if you ask me . They're very kind to kids. We take our kids up with us. DH knows all the collectors in Portobello very well and over the years, the collectors have given the kids beautiful coins, dolls, boxes, figurines, books, etc.
Collectors tend to be obsessive and sort of fixed on their main interest, so don't worry. That is normal. I live in a house surrounded by death masks, civil war teeth, battlefield surgical sets, cupping sets for bleeding, leech jars, 19th century papier-mache brains and wombs. I sleep with ovaries next to me. None of it's my stuff. I'm not into any of it at all. But when I first met DH, I thought, "This guys weird. I think I love him already." I like his curious mind.

Feed your son's beautiful mind. He doesn't do 'mass consumption' or 'made in Taiwan'. More power to him! He sees the world differently. He is very visual.