DS(8) strange obsession

[Namechangelar]

Okay so I’ve NC for this as very outing, but I’d like some opinions about my son and where I should draw the line and possibly some suggestions as to why my son is like this.

My DS is nearly 8 and for some time he has had an obsession with things that are very old. He loves history, but this is next level. For Christmas he asked Santa for an old oil painting similar to one we had seen in a charity shop. We thought he’d forget about it as what kid wants one of those, but he went on about it for weeks until we were at the point of we can’t not get it because it would ruin Christmas! He is nearly 8 ffs!

What concerns us is that this isn’t the first odd gift, he got some money for Christmas and now has a collection of thimbles and old carriage clocks, prior that he has bought items such as an old mirror and and old trinket box. My grandpas house is more modern than his bedroom so it’s not like this is a role model scenario, but the place looks like an old girls house clearance.

He is into “normal” 8 year old boy things too, Lego, wrestlers, reading books etc but this year for his birthday he has asked for an old carpet and I just cannot deal. These are not normal requests and whilst I thought I’d be very much you like what you like, I’m not seeing the no fucks side because I feel it’s a pattern of strange behaviour and I don’t know how to deal with the situation the best.

I can’t take him into charity shops without him wanting to look through all the knickknack crap, it’s painful, he begs me to let him spend his money on a porcelain dog and a pocket watch! It’s not even old cars etc, just pure crap.

We are lucky to have a large living area so when friends come to play they don’t have to see his room and I feel awful for even saying that, but I don’t want him to be bullied at school just for liking all this old toot! Is this just a phase he will grow out of or could there be something underlying here? As time goes on I think it’s more than just being an old soul, he wouldn’t be bothered if I said no clubs or tv if he was naughty, but if I took the flipping oil painting away for a week I think he’d feel that was the biggest punishment from the above.

Any suggestions MN?

I think you're being a bit small minded. Children have their own personality by age 7. He loves antiques. Plenty of people do.
Maybe he'll be an antique dealer or work in a stately home or a valuation expert in central London or Rome or Paris or any number of other careers in that field.
I bet of you had the opportunity to talk to experts in that field that they were just like your son as children.

So all antique dealers are on ASD spectrum?
Such nonsense.

My son went thru a phase like this with Fire extinguishers (not fire engines/firemen or fires) just fire extinguishers. Every shop we went into he checked all the extinguishers, to make sure they had been serviced in the last 12 months. If not he asked for the manager to tell them...... If a building was being refurbed he asked for old extinguishers - it was relentless. I still have a stack of them in the garage, but he has turned out a lovley lad who, despite his encyclopedic knowledge of Health & Safety regs works in a completely different area. You will look back & smile about this -get plenty photos for the 21st birthday party!

Maybe he’ll grow up to be an antiques dealer, I don’t really see it as a problem that he likes things that are different to the social norm.

I do remember dd2 buying a book from the early 1800s with her own money when she was about 7. Unfortunately she used to play with it all the time and didn’t take very good care of it, so the pages fell out. But I thought it was nice that she wanted it.

His collecting sounds lovely but the other behaviour you described in the updates definitely worrying and difficult to handle. He might be on the spectrum or have adhd. I hope you get the support you both need for that soonest. Meanwhile encourage his collecting and don’t worry if he’s not addicted to video games like most boys. If he does have special needs his hobby is good for him and not at all destructive. I’m sorry some people were kind of mean in their responses. I think we really needed to know about the more worrying behaviour before we could make a helpful response.

He's an old soul, he's probably recollecting a previous life, let him explore and don't be angry with him

Maybe he will grow up to be an antiques dealer. I wouldn't worry about it, it's great he has an interest in something.

He sounds like an interesting young thing. stop worrying and bring embarrassed and support him. Get over yourself. Lots of kids collect stuff. He sounds great . Please work on your feelings of embarrassment as he will be picking up on those feelings and this could have consequences for him in terms of him feeling inadequate etc . Dear boy sounds a real treasurer

One of my childhood friends was like this - he now works for Bonhams...

Has he been watching any films or TV programmes set in old settings ( like Hogwarts ) that he might be trying to recreate ? Just a thought.

Spend more time trying to understand him than trying to change him. Antiques are amazing, he sounds lovely.

Sounds completely normal to me. He’s interested in history.

He sounds amazing , interesting and adorable. And even an NT passionate colkector would be put out with someone rearranging their collection

I work with lots of students on the spectrum and they are largely delightful.

Do support him as he may get teased.at school, and then at least he has you to talk to about his interest.

My daughter gets teased for her niche interest by girls at school. B*itches.

He’s quirky that’s fine! I see no problem just enjoy your son I think it’s great he’s not like everyone else

My 15-year-old salvaged a bit of old ceramic out of a river yesterday because it was shiny.. What are you gonna do?! He's happy...

Jiggly Show him this youtube channel. www.youtube.com/channel/UCpoTXOogFTivQw1aG5W1mTQ

It's a fabulous hobby.

Please don’t worry it’s totally normal, what a joy that he’s into old stuff rather than piles of plastic ,maybe he will become an expert in antiques !! daughter here was the same it lasted for 3 or 4 years A couple of her friends got into it to then...
She moved on to collecting vintage books mostly children’s stories etc but also some miller’s antique guides, she then got into vintage 1960 dolls big time,
It all passed and now and it’s iPhone and top shop and bloody instagram , sky high she had a good eye for a bargain

Just remembered,The worst we found in our daughters room was a human molar!!!
Her and her friend found it in a grassy area that used to be a grave yard !
I said I thought it might be a tooth , she was very interested in who’s how many 100,s of years old , confess I was pretty horrified but just discretely removed it to the wheely bin
If we reminded her today at 16 she’d be horrified to
Chill out and get him some antique guides to leaf though if nothing else it will encourage reading

He has a sweet hobby that you are judgemental about

I find it worrying when people who can't comprehend why someone would like something different to them are parents, and inflict their ridiculous mindset on their children. Old "crap" like pocket watches and ornaments is surely better than modern crap like surprise eggs and slime

Someone I worked with had a relation in LA police force who was obsessed with the Little Mermaid. Room decorated with it, memorabilia. Takes all sorts to make our world. I think your son sounds so lovely. He will probably have an art gallery one day and make you proud.

Could be knives or porn mags. My son collected woolly pullovers even from a young age, we used to joke he was born 40.
I always encouraged unique interests, shows a depth of personality to me. You never know he could grow into a great inventor. Seems like a cool kid and I know all of mine would've been really interested in being friends with you son and I would've encouraged it. 😊

I was like this at his age, the old bits of basically rubbish were amazing, old, precious treasure to me!
I’ve grown to be fairly normal and in a completely unrelated job.

I’d embrace it, he sounds interesting. My Son wore a suit and a bow tie for a couple of years when he was in his Dr Who phase, but yours seems to have developed this interest all on his own. Why don’t you take him to a few auctions or a potter around an antique shop to discuss what it is that he likes and why. I’d be thrilled with him tbh - he sounds great.