DS(8) strange obsession

[Namechangelar]

Okay so I’ve NC for this as very outing, but I’d like some opinions about my son and where I should draw the line and possibly some suggestions as to why my son is like this.

My DS is nearly 8 and for some time he has had an obsession with things that are very old. He loves history, but this is next level. For Christmas he asked Santa for an old oil painting similar to one we had seen in a charity shop. We thought he’d forget about it as what kid wants one of those, but he went on about it for weeks until we were at the point of we can’t not get it because it would ruin Christmas! He is nearly 8 ffs!

What concerns us is that this isn’t the first odd gift, he got some money for Christmas and now has a collection of thimbles and old carriage clocks, prior that he has bought items such as an old mirror and and old trinket box. My grandpas house is more modern than his bedroom so it’s not like this is a role model scenario, but the place looks like an old girls house clearance.

He is into “normal” 8 year old boy things too, Lego, wrestlers, reading books etc but this year for his birthday he has asked for an old carpet and I just cannot deal. These are not normal requests and whilst I thought I’d be very much you like what you like, I’m not seeing the no fucks side because I feel it’s a pattern of strange behaviour and I don’t know how to deal with the situation the best.

I can’t take him into charity shops without him wanting to look through all the knickknack crap, it’s painful, he begs me to let him spend his money on a porcelain dog and a pocket watch! It’s not even old cars etc, just pure crap.

We are lucky to have a large living area so when friends come to play they don’t have to see his room and I feel awful for even saying that, but I don’t want him to be bullied at school just for liking all this old toot! Is this just a phase he will grow out of or could there be something underlying here? As time goes on I think it’s more than just being an old soul, he wouldn’t be bothered if I said no clubs or tv if he was naughty, but if I took the flipping oil painting away for a week I think he’d feel that was the biggest punishment from the above.

Any suggestions MN?

I don’t get the problem either. Some DCs know very early on what interests them. He may well become an antiques dealer or similar profession or collect as a hobby for life.

You do sound embarrassed about him and his interest which makes you the weird one.

Huh? Sounds like he was born to the wrong family.
My dd has a really good friend who is now 12. He has always loved old things. Coins, spoons, anything and can talk about it for England.
Pretty sure he will be on Antiques Road show one day wearing red trousers and being equally enthusiastic.

My son's school has an antique books club. They buy and sell at antiquarian book fairs and second hand book shops.

Your son sounds completely normal to me!!

YABVU OP not to be able to deal with this. He isn't wanting hardcore porn or crack cocaine, you as a parent should be supportive and facilitating of his interests. I'd much rather support my child this way than be buying the latest plastic tat. Go on OP, you might learn something.

Goodness I wish there were more children like this! How wonderful to have such an individual child with an interest in something that actually is interesting and not just commercialised nonsense. I would be celebrating and wholeheartedly encouraging in your shoes....

OP, he sounds like an Antiques Dealer in the making.

Would you be saying he's odd if in 20 years time he's a successful Antiques Dealer and/or one of the experts on the Antiques Roadshow, or would you be saying how proud you are of him and that he had an interest in old things from a very young age and you encouraged it?

He's harming no one and you could show an interest with him and not be embarrassed by him.

He sounds adorable! Honestly the obsession would be waaay worse if he were my kid because I’d just buy ALL of it and the house would be filled with crap in the blink of an eye.

Let him. Even the carpet. It’s ok.

Wow! See if you can get him a Roman coin / collection of other ancient artefacts often detector finds on Amazon. Get him a metal detector. Look at the mudlarking posts on Youtube with him. There are plenty of enthusiasts about.

I meant EBay!

Nothing to be concerned about. Be easy to entertain him in holidays, trips to NT, English Heritage, museums etc.Only real issue is where to keep it all, hope you have a big loft.

Budding antiques dealer? Seems a bit mean not to encourage his interests

He might love fossils too and a piece of busy amber.

I haven't read the full thread - but why don't you encourage him to trace back your ancestry or something. So, a little less junk perhaps and he will be researching something you may all find interesting. He will learn loads and will be secure in knowing he has your full support.

Your son sounds lovely. It sounds like he has a curious mind and is interested in a wide variety of things. I think it sounds great!

I grew up with an antiques collector DDad. We spent every weekend at auctions locally and holidays at Christie’s and Gorringes. Millers guides each year. We’d be sent to check for woodworm under and behind large furniture at viewings as we were small enough to fit.
I am fairly normal now and my brother is even more normal than me! Indulge him. It’s fine.

How odd that you find this a problem. You should celebrate your son not tey to quash him.
I would be booking some museum tours and guiding him towards antiques that have some social/ historical value.
Plenty of people have an interest in antiquity and antiquing.

When I was a kid it was usual to buy a souvenir if you went out for the day & also to bring back something from holiday.

It's just the same idea, isn't it?

I love looking in charity shops, though tbh it's usually books that I buy.

What do you think might be the underlying issue here?

I would go with it within reason. When my nephew was 8/9 he used to wear bow ties, tweed jackets, pointy shoes and a fedora hat - none of us knew why...3 years on and he wouldn't be seen dead in them, he wears full Nike and Adidas. Kids change. Ps. I wouldn't buy the carpet 😂

I think OP is getting a hard time.

As parents I think we Eleanor our children to be accepted and loved and if they are different I can get how some would get worried as they want their children to be happy.

However your DS sounds amazing and I think you should just embrace his curiosity and support him (which I think you already are)
Try not to stress about it - if you provide a horn environment where he is given absolute confidence to be who he wants to be , then he will hopefully thrive and not give care in the world if he is "different" to others his age.

As others have said, he could be the next historian or antique expert or "Indiana Jones"

I’d have a look at why this is so triggering for you? What was your childhood like? School experiences? Parents? Kids need to be taught to be resilient, not just to fit in to avoid bullying. As other kids can choose anything to be bullies about. And then take your son to the antiques roadshow. Or museums or something. He’d love it. And let his friends play in his room. It’s not some dirty secret and he might inspire his friends.

You’re the problem here, not your son. There’s nothing wrong with him liking old things - plenty of antique collectors in the world. You are the one being unaccepting and judgemental about a harmless hobby/ interest. It’s your attitude that’s the problem, not your sons interest.

I would love to be friends with your son if I was 8

Bless him he sounds like a clever and eccentric little boy. Might be a historian one day! I don't think you need to be concerned he's just finding interest in something that's not run of the mill aren't you proud of him that he's not afraid to be himself?