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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you know you’re finished having children.

187 replies

Tunnocks34 · 24/01/2020 18:46

We have three children, our youngest is 6 months. I really assumed that after my third I’d feel like our family was complete etc but I don’t feel like I am. I feel I’d really love another baby (albeit in 2/3 years)

For context, I am 30. Money isn’t an issue and either is age, but what I’m wondering is, is there just a switch that happens. Do you ever think ‘I want no more children’, is it circumstances that stop people?

OP posts:
WarrenNicole · 25/01/2020 20:28

I always wanted 3. I grew up with 2 siblings and so 3 just felt normal to me.

I am currently pregnant with my second and have hyperemesis (just as I did in my first pregnancy). I just know that I will not be able to go through this again, so I will be finished at 2. And I’m okay with that.

FanSpamTastic · 25/01/2020 20:36

During childbirth of dc3 I thought "thank god I am never doing this again"!

I had a little bit of a wobble when he turned 2 and considered one more romp around the gooseberry bush but soon came back to reality!

I have been pregnant 5 times - have 3 dc - decided to quit while I was ahead.

Pompei36 · 25/01/2020 20:46

When I was in labour, I knew it will be my first and my last .

MrHaroldFry · 25/01/2020 20:50

I knew because the reality of our situation was two was enough and we couldn't afford more, not just monetarily but for time, getting people to/from clubs, schools, sports, parties, play dates. Two was as many as we could realistically manage I do understand the sort of urge, especially when around newborns, but the black and white logic in me understands the realities of life.

slapmyarseandcallmemary · 25/01/2020 20:52

We have 2 ds is 2.5 and dd is 8 months. Would like one more. Will see if circumstances allow.

orangejuicer · 25/01/2020 20:53

We have one DS (14mo) and we're done. I'm 37 going on 38. DP is 42. My recovery was a bit tricky and DP has concerns about doing it again. We're on one salary now as DP is a SAHD. If another comes along I'd be delighted but no plans to try.

Beanbag12 · 25/01/2020 21:02

I have 2 boys and after having my second I was actually really tempted to have a third. Me and my partner got all wistful thinking how lovely it would be to have a girl (despite being really happy with our boys). 3 years down the line we have changed our minds about number 3. I just don’t think it would be right for our family dynamics.

Proseccoagain · 25/01/2020 21:04

I always wanted three, but as soon as I came home with the second I knew I didn't want another. Plus the fact I didn't have my first till I was 34, and then was 38 with the second. Was sterilized 6 weeks later; did feel sad afterwards but knew it was the right decision.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 25/01/2020 21:13

My traumatised vagina after an hour and half of pushing a 8lb 10 baby out said no chance.

Evanna13 · 25/01/2020 21:43

I have two. After my first I knew I wanted a second. After my second I wavered. Some days I was broody, some days not. I think I liked the idea of a third more than the reality. Now they are 4 and 6, I am 38, we are happy and content. They get on great, play together and I am so grateful for two healthy, happy children. From time to time I think what life might have been like with a third but more often than that I am grateful that we stopped at two. For us, it's perfect.

elliejjtiny · 25/01/2020 22:22

My youngest's birth nearly killed us both. That was the moment I knew I was done.

Snugglemonster84 · 26/01/2020 17:49

I still had an urge after my first child but once we'd had our second (2 year gap) my urge didn't return. I love having 2 children but it's been full on. No sleep, illness, etc and the arguing they do wears me out mentally.
They are growing up now and much more independent. I love sleeping all night, and bit having to take baby stuff away with us, pushchairs etc.
My best friend and my sister in law are both pregnant and I am very much looking forward to spending time with their babies but being able to give them back!

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