To ask how you know you’re finished having children.

[Tunnocks34]

We have three children, our youngest is 6 months. I really assumed that after my third I’d feel like our family was complete etc but I don’t feel like I am. I feel I’d really love another baby (albeit in 2/3 years)

For context, I am 30. Money isn’t an issue and either is age, but what I’m wondering is, is there just a switch that happens. Do you ever think ‘I want no more children’, is it circumstances that stop people?

I wondered if I’d want more but now when I see a pregnant person my only thought is you unlucky fucker thank fuck it’s not me 😂

I also feel like this

My daughter popped out my foof, all well, everyone happy and I thought "thank goodness I never have to do that again". I hadn't thought we'd stop at two, so didn't know where that thought came from, but it was such an overwhelmingly strong feeling of relief to feel done with childbirth that I didn't question it.

I hated being pregnant, and to be honest found mothering small children very difficult. I was prepared to go again so dc1 could have a sibling, but I knew during my pregnancy with dc2 that I was done. I've never wanted a third.

We decided we were done after our second/last baby, I found the whole thing - pregnancy and birth - quite traumatic and so did DH who got the snip about a year later. There was always a little twinge of ‘what if’, but last week we visited a family member who’d just had a baby (first one in the family since my youngest (6)) and I left there realising we’d absolutely made the right decision.

I thought i was done after the 2nd. Then we snuck a third in. (With dsd its 4 all together). I have to say im done because age, not impossible but would be silly. I can never say never.

I never wanted kids. Then I met my now partner and quite late, so once I had settled into life as a mother of one, I had to think if I wanted more. But in all honesty, I can't see us with another baby. I can't even think about doing the night feeds again, the first year was hard. My son is 2 now and I have a lovely relationship with him. I just can't see another baby in our life. One and done for sure.

When my third was around the same age I was sure I wanted another one but the feeling lessened as time went on and I couldn’t imagine the thought of having another. I still sometimes feel a little wistfully about another baby but then when I think about the reality I realise that I’m 100% done and happy with it.
I guess some people do just keep going but for a lot of people the feeling of being done just does eventually happen.

How old is your oldest? Like you, I have 3 with the youngest being 6 months. My oldest DC is in reception, and just getting to the point where we can start doing more interesting stuff with him. While I love babies and feel broody when I see a newborn, it's suddenly hitting home that a 4th baby would really restrict what I can do with the older DC I don't know if it'll last, but for the moment I am feeling done.

I have 1, and we knew we didnt want anymore, just a feeling inside.
My friend has just had her 4th baby, and thought she was done but is now having a wobble, she loves living in noisy, loving chaos.

Nature told me, unfortunately

Also, as my oldest 2 are 6 and 4, I’ve had a tantalising glimpse of life with children who sleep through the night, wipe their own bums, dress themselves and keep themselves amused when I lie on the sofa . Looking forward to my 1 year old being able to do those things, and definitely not going back to the baby stages!

I have 3. I wasn't sure I was done with 3. Then fell pregnant despite quite a lot of precautions. We weren't too sure what to do but ultimately decided to keep it. I now feel done. Only pregnant with nbr 4 atm but it's me done no matter what, I don't want to be pregnant again after this. I'm happy at the thought of a 4th though in the end, it was meant to be.

I have 3 and knew I was done. I never felt done after 2. Not a question of money or anything, we’re just complete now

I was sure after no3 who was a surprise. I was so ill in pregnancy and was so sure that dh was allowed a vasectomy when I was 6 months along.

I'm glad I had dc3, but I was done!

I had a head over heart decision initially about not having more children. However I know now that I am more than happy with 2 and 3 probably would have made me miserable.
The question to ask yourself is do you want a baby or do you want another child? I think they are very different things.

I've stopped at 2. I think I'm one of the people that will never feel done. I do feel like a part of my family isnt complete, but I may still feel like that after a third.

I dont think there needs to be some spiritual inner feeling of being done. Its perfectly possible to make a decision as a rational one too. Decide whats a good number to have. How many you can cope with while still giving each a good amount of education. What resources you can afford to spread around etc.

Ive got 3 and I knew I didnt want more and that hasnt changed, but I wouldnt have had more anyway, which is why i booked to be sterilised, as I didnt want to even have the option of changing my mind. In fact I already think I have overdone it, and I would have been a better parent to one or two. Obviously I love them all though now theyre here.

I thin some people just keep trying for the one they cant cope with

I have 4 children and carrying my last child made me physically ill, and my mental health suffered. DH got the snip 3 months later.

Got three with big ages gaps. Got pregnant very surprisingly a 4th time (on the pill) soon after no3 was born. It ended in miscarriage very early on...I wasn’t at all sad, so I knew I was done.

After my DD was born (my only child) I felt sure I would never want another. I had a bit of pang of wanting one when she turned five and I realised she's growing up all the time (I knew she was growing up before then but it hit me). But then had a little bit of a pregnancy scare and I was very scared... So I think I'm still firm on not wanting another.

Done at 2, because they’re hard work & I really don’t see what a 3rd could give that the first 2 haven't.

I had DS2 last summer just after I was 40. 3 children in the last 5 years. I never wanted children but DH did and once I'd had one I wanted more. 3 was enough for us and he had a vasectomy before DS2 was born.

It was absolutely the right decision but when I think of never holding another newborn baby of my own I get broody pangs.

When we think of no more sleepless nights, being able to go out again, no more nappies, tantrums etc, it was definitely the right decision. Just the next 20 years to get through!

You count the grey hairs.

Literally the minute my DC2 was born I knew I was done!! The thought of doing it again makes me squirm!!🤣🤣🤣 two is enough for me!!

@newbingepisodes, are you allowed to do this at 35? with same issue I was told breasts out whenever I want, tubes the same, but no doctor in uk would touch ovaries before you turn 40 as it would have big impact on your long term health and they want to delay removing them for as long as possible.