To ask how you know you’re finished having children.

[Tunnocks34]

We have three children, our youngest is 6 months. I really assumed that after my third I’d feel like our family was complete etc but I don’t feel like I am. I feel I’d really love another baby (albeit in 2/3 years)

For context, I am 30. Money isn’t an issue and either is age, but what I’m wondering is, is there just a switch that happens. Do you ever think ‘I want no more children’, is it circumstances that stop people?

I’ve wondered about this a lot recently.

Due number 2 in May and I know it terms of the planet, finances and my career I should be done but I really don’t feel like I am

Before I had my second, my husband and I were wavering between 2 or 3. I know I am done now my second is an older baby. I feel very torn and feel like I’m struggling to provide all the mental stimulation my 3 year old needs while managing the more basic needs of the baby. A third would mean major sacrifices to lifestyle. We would cope with an accident but we would never plan a third.

I genuinely don’t know how people manage larger families and have admiration for their coping skills. I feel so torn already, I think 4/5 children would break me.

I have two and honestly I would love more but the reality is much harsher than the fantasy. I didn’t want to go back to the sleepless nights and the screaming tantrums.

When baby 11 popped into the world and the doctor said another one would potentially kill me ☹️

@wineandroses1

I only ever wanted 2.

Wanted two, had two, definitely not ever doing it again. I was too old for my second really but he's a little sweetheart. We are on our knees with sleep deprivation though and when I think of how much richer we'd be if we'd stopped at one...😬

If I'm honest I dont know either way. I have a ds who is hard work but worth it but I had terrible pnd after he was born. I thought I was ready to try again and became pregnant for the second time only to terminate at 6 weeks because my depression and anxiety spiralled out of control. It is my biggest regret in life, one that I'll never forget, I'm really not sure which way to go, feel very directionless.

I love having babies and I love babies.
But I seem to breed owls rather than children
I have three and a full time demanding job and a significant daily commute.
I'm also early 40's
I think another nocturnal child may finish me off!

I have one and haven’t felt a hint of broodiness since having her, which I am taking as a sign that I’m done.

I have 2 and I think I want another but I do worry about coping with the exhaustion of another baby and sleep deprivation and all that goes with it..... But I can’t imagine not being pregnant again, holding a new tiny baby in wonder at what we have grown, watching the family wrap it’s arms around another little one. Let’s face it, if it happens for us I’m definitely having one more. But I think that has got to be it because there’s only so much more washing and nagging I can cope with 🙃

I don’t think I’ll ever feel done but at the same time I know I have limits!

When baby 11 popped into the world and the doctor said another one would potentially kill me

Oh wow @ColourMyDreams 11! What's it like having 11?! Would you have had more if it had been safe to do so? Don't answer if you don't want obviously.

I have 3 girls (3, 5 and 7) and I would have loved another but once my eldest started school I realised that there was no way I could give them the amount of attention that they need.

That was my deciding factor. Occasionally get a bit broody but was absolutely the right decision for my family

I knew when I was done.
I'd always wanted about 6 kids; had the first and very quickly wanted a second. But when the second was born, that was it, I just knew I didn't want any more. I never changed my mind, never regretted stopping. And the children are grown up now.

I'm broody and don't feel done but logically having another baby is not the right thing to do at all, I'm older and put it down to hormones! 2 is lovely and enough work for me. On the other hand recently I'd also really like a dog so maybe my maternal feelings are being channelled that way!

When I had Dd2 I just new straight away.

Two children felt right, it was a nice age gap (5.5 years), we could afford both easily.

I just felt complete.

Hard labour first DS but didn’t let that deter me as second labour should be easier.

Come second pregnancy and labour and it was can worse.

So I’m thinking to call it a day.

Even if I had loads of money, no career to be affected, suffered no morning sickness (I had HG), I still wouldn't want another. Two seems natural to me.

This (less the HG, I only had morning sickness).

DH and I had a conversation the other week where we said that even if we won the lottery we wouldn't have a third. I'm getting a bit too old really anyway, but even if I wasn't I wouldn't bother!

I think there’s a switch!
I had 3 wasn’t sure I was definitely done, didn’t want another right then but wasn’t willing to write it off.
I got pregnant with no4 and sat there with the test and thought oh shit not oh yey. I knew then I was done!

I felt done after 3 but I was 35 and money was a consideration. In your position I'm not sure I'd feel the same.

@Formerbabe I would have had more but for that.
What's it like? Well, it's as hard or as easy as you want to make it.
Organisation is the key, especially with time. If you can manage your time effectively to give the best results then you're halfway there.
Fortunately their dad was very hands on when he was at home and did his fair share.
They were all brought up to be respectful of others, work hard and play hard.
They are all grown up with good jobs, 8 of them went to university. All married with children of their own, except for one who is married but has no children.
I'm one proud mum 😁

The moment dc2 popped out I knew I was done. We have one of each and they are a real handful and I am overwhelmed most days working as well. I could not give a 3rd the attention as I struggle with 2. I wouldn’t mind being pregnant again it’s just the looking after the child afterwards !

I'm suddenly broody again, I have two but I'm 43 and they are 7 and 8. However, I don't think it is an option.

colourmydreams

Wow..amazing, thanks for answering!

I’d always wanted 3, when my second was just born I’d have honestly been delighted to get pregnant again pretty much immediately and remained that way til he was just over a year old and all of a sudden one day it was like someone flicked a switch and all of a sudden I knew I was done.

I thought I was done after DS1 then 7 years later had an overwhelming desire to have another. Along came DS2 and 9 weeks ago we had DS3. I would LOVE another. I really don’t have that I’m done feeling. I already have the seven seater car and 4 bed house but unfortunately the very reluctant DH as well