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Original poster

To think it is harder to have an only child than more?

294 replies

Rosehip345 · 23/01/2020 21:33

Just that really. Been having a discussion with friends, all with at least one child up to four.
From my experience I think it is harder to have one as they need the constant attention that siblings give each other. Plus the teaching them to share, occupy themselves etc?
Just intrigued to know others thoughts and how many you have?

OP posts:
Roozy123 · 23/01/2020 22:03

Plus the teaching them to share, occupy themselves etc

You also have to do this with a child that has siblings.
I found one child a breeze!!! Compared to having 3.

AmazingGreats · 23/01/2020 22:03

It depends. Two of mine hate each other and fight constantly. There is no peace of any kind. I think they've only played nicely together for about 45 minutes in the whole last year (added together not all in one go!)

Roozy123 · 23/01/2020 22:04

Also. My Friday who has 2 children has a son who wants attention 24/7 no matter how much he plays with his sister. She's always saying how draining his constant need for attention can be.

skyblu · 23/01/2020 22:04

I have one child.
I also have 2 step children. So for many years, whilst they were all small, I had plenty of experience of having 3 (weekends, holidays....step children even lived with us full time for a while on different occasions over the years)
3 was damned hard work!
1 is piece of cake by comparison.

Roozy123 · 23/01/2020 22:05

Friend* 🙄

c3pu · 23/01/2020 22:05

My first ds (actually my step son) was 4 when ds2 was born. The first 4 years were definitely easier.

After his mum and I broke up when the kids were 8 and 4 we shared the care of them both, but when he got to 13 the eldest decided he preferred living with his mum full time - and having just the one to look after is definitely much easier, no matter how much I rue and lament not having the eldest with me so much.

I suppose it might be different if both the children are compliant, enjoy each others company and are always obedient, but if they bicker and fight then having more than one does not make life any easier.

Lipperfromchipper · 23/01/2020 22:06

🤣🤣🤣 noooo...ime 1 is a doddle...for instance a simple question like “what would you like for dinner? Chicken or prawns?
One child answer ; emmm chicken please mummy! 👌
Two children (or more answer) ; child 1 chicken....
Child 2...chicken...no actually...prawns
And so then an argument follows regarding dinner!!makes me wonder why I try to involve them in decision making 🙄

Movie night with one child- pick a movie, sit down and watch it!
Movie night with more than 1- fight over which movie to choose, which ends with one child crying over choice made and then proceeds to moan throughout the movie, whilst annoying sibling by “sitting too close to me mummmmy” etc etc!!

And so on....

Bicnod · 23/01/2020 22:07

I have 3DC and, despite the constant squabbling and relentless food prep/washing/tidying, I still think having only one would be harder for me personally.

They have each other and I don't have to be everything to them all the time.

NaviSprite · 23/01/2020 22:08

My DH is an only child and by his own words, was a needy child - so it was difficult for his Mum to manage when he was always wanting her attention no matter what she was doing (this is of course when he was still very young) he also admits that due to being a singleton he was a nightmare as a teenager because he had come to expect getting his own way all the time (thankfully he had grown out of a lot of that mindset by the time I met him!) so I guess it comes down the child/children in question 😊

I only wanted one but got twins straight off the bat so I’ll never know what it’s like to have a single baby but I imagine it would have been easier than having two of the exact same age (give or take 40 seconds) 😂

FagAsh · 23/01/2020 22:08

My life was infinite easier once I had my second
Partly about the attention but also I have in trying to for a baby into my life and did it the other way around.

My kids are the best and I love seeing their friendship grow

lanthanum · 23/01/2020 22:08

My "only" has always been quite happy entertaining herself.

The bit that surprised me was "it's not fair" which I didn't think would be an issue with an only. However when you're the only member of the family who has to ask permission to raid the biscuit tin, it feels very unfair!

Rosebel · 23/01/2020 22:09

Pros and cons to both. If you only have one they get undivided attention and I'd assume you have more money and energy if you only have one. And only one child's needs to consider.
But sometimes I think it might lonely to be an only child and I have heard children with at least one sibling are better at negotiating, but no idea, if that's true or not. I can see they'd want their parents attention more too.
I'm not sure one is easier than the other though.

tubbycustardtummyache · 23/01/2020 22:10

I can see it both ways having had an unplanned big age gap (6 years)
One child was pretty straightforward but I’m enjoying not feeling I have to provide constant entertainment and company now I have 2

My attention to detail has definitely got worse though, I was quite organised when I had an only!

doritosdip · 23/01/2020 22:12

Depends on their age.

I have 3 teens and they love it when their siblings are away. It's easier for me too- meal planning, dropping off/picking up etc

When they are young it's sometimes easier eg at a playground they might play together but you also get the squabbles and jealousy if you're hovering by child 2 rather than child 1 etc With lots of the stuff you do, one child has to suck it up for their sibling. For example child 1 has a dance class so child 2 has to hang around until the class is over as they are too young to stay home alone.

hazeyjane · 23/01/2020 22:12

It depends.

TeddyIsaHe · 23/01/2020 22:13

1 is easy! You only ever have to stuff your brain full of things for one child.

It’s not like having 2 is double the work, it’s WAY more than that. And then it just expands exponentially the more children you have.

I have one dd for a reason.

PoppyFleur · 23/01/2020 22:14

I have 1, he is an easy going child, 8 years old and great fun to hang out with. Would have been lovely to have another child but that wasn’t meant to be. I feel blessed to have him, life is too short to long for what could have been.

Babyg1995 · 23/01/2020 22:14

It depends on the age gap mine are close together and I found it easier having two than one .

AnneElliott · 23/01/2020 22:15

I think one is easier (I have one) as they have no one to argue with! My friends with two seem to spend their time refereeing them. Yes

Xmasbaby11 · 23/01/2020 22:16

I have 2dc 6 and 8 and they both demand a lot of attention from me when together, so they are definitely much harder than one. Time, attention and money is all split with more than one.

Dd2 is laidback and happy and would have been a breeze as an only.

Dd1 is high maintenance - has ASD - would probably be just as hard work as an only.

There are losses and gains from having a sibling. We were lucky enough to have what we wanted, 2dc.

5zeds · 23/01/2020 22:16

Ha ha....no. One was a doddle, 5 less so rather unsurprisingly.

Fanniesyeraunt · 23/01/2020 22:17

I would worry more if I had an only child about them being occupied/happy/fulfilled - as one of 3 myself I’d worry I was denying them the sibling relationships I have. I’d worry about getting old or sick and the possible burden of that falling on one child.
However - I don’t think “harder” is the correct word. The hard bits are hard with every child. You are just timing those hard bits by however many kids you have. So for me - 4 lots of no sleep - 4 lots of feeding/burping/nappy changing - 4 lots of swimming lessons every week - and so far 3 lots of teenage angst - 1 still to go!
Wouldn’t change it though.

Ronnie27 · 23/01/2020 22:17

Um. No. Grin

BillHadersNewWife · 23/01/2020 22:18

It depends which child! If one of my DDs was an only it would be different to the other being an only. All children are different. Some are self contained and manage their own entertainment whilst others are constantly at your side and talking/demanding.

Mamato2gorgeousboys · 23/01/2020 22:19

I have two... having just one was definitely easier and less tiring!