To think it is harder to have an only child than more?

[Rosehip345]

Just that really. Been having a discussion with friends, all with at least one child up to four.
From my experience I think it is harder to have one as they need the constant attention that siblings give each other. Plus the teaching them to share, occupy themselves etc?
Just intrigued to know others thoughts and how many you have?

I only have one, and he is pretty easygoing, so far at least. I think if I had more it would be much harder.

I have definitely found two harder than when I had one. But mine are still quite young so i don’t know if in the longer term it’ll become easier?

It’s like asking if doing one lot of washing is easier than two, or three, or four.

Clearly not.

Whichever you bundle up the lights, darks, delicates etc, it’s still twice, thrice, quadruple the bloody drying, folding, and ironing once it’s washed ffs! It’s not just about the playing together!

For 23 yrs dd1 was an only. I found it easy.
One of my sister's had 5 boys, they were wild, constantly fought with each other. Everytime I was at her house I couldn't wait to leave and was grateful I only had one.

I used to think that as like you say the first needed constant entertaining. Then had a second, and you quickly realise both individually is easier but put them together and it’s carnage. Then I thought have a third with a closer gap to the second so they can entertain each other, and they still need constant watching as one second they will be playing and the next fighting. At every stage, kids need a lot of attention. Though, my eldest can now easily entertain himself and do what he wants to do.

No way - all the mega-stressed parents I know have more than one.

YABU OP or rather unlucky. it's had its moments but compared to you, i am lucky as i have found it easy. never had an issue with dd sharing etc along the blollocks stereo type as to how 'onlies' behave. she never wanted a brother or sister so i have not had issues with having to give her supposedly what siblings give. actually, my sister was always a complete bitch and made my life a misery and would have much preferred to have been on my own (which for most of the time i felt i was anyway).

I'm the only one who has 1 child out of my friendship group and I definitely have it easier.No squabbling or arguing and only one lot of homework and people are much more likely to want to babysit.We can afford to go abroad every year and for me to work part time.

Nonsense.

Not only do a lot of siblings fight, they create constant court cases and they never accept the verdict, but when you have three schedules, your own, and one for each child, life can feel be impossible. I was a single parent and couldn't work when they were small because of all of the endless appointments that they both had. Nightmare.

I should have stopped at one.

I always wondered how I would cope with just one kid... especially when they’re really little. My first two were twins so I’ve never experienced it! They were an absolute breeze, and from a very young age kept each other entertained - they still do!

But as others have said children are hard regardless of how many! I did once read that parents of 4 or more are less stressed!!!! I think they’re just more relaxed because by then there can’t be much they haven’t experienced as a parent.

I have/had a one and only - a bit of a while ago. We had a great time - between just us as a family, but also - because I worried about them being a lonely one and only (and also because I worked from home) we had play dates just about every evening after school. Sleepovers at my house were legendary. My DC had a lot of company. I am not saying that is necessary, its just what I did because of how much I myself valued having a sibling growing up in a dysfunctional family. Anyways, my DC is all grown up now and very happy to be an only one, especially considering the family inheritance.

I don’t think it’s harder, but it can be more intense because they do need more input sometimes. I have one, but have also been a nanny for different variations (which I know isn’t quite the same) and having one child is easy in terms of lifestyle. One child can fit into your life more easily than 2 or more, when you are organising anything only having to think about what one child is going to need/want is much easier, it’s much less expensive in many ways. The flip side is that at home they want you to play with them, read to them, talk to them much more than if you had more children who also want that attention or can give it to each other. The key is to make sure your only child learns to enjoy their own company as well and teach them to play on their own.

🤣🤣 Ok obviously just me then!
I have four, and I feel it is much much easier than my friends that only have one. Obviously I’m on my own with this (on Mumsnet!), although within my friendship group we were pretty split.

Children are hard work, i know when I had two under three it was HARD, having just one would of been so easy! Depends on the age but having multiple children is harder than one, yes they may play together for an hour but there’s 23 more hours of hard slog! Putting multiple children to bed is harder than entertaining one child for an afternoon.

Some bitchy comments on here!

This thread isn’t all that nice. We all have our own personal reasons for the number of children we have and there’s no point in trying to make out that your choice is better than anyone else’s.

From my experience I think it is harder to have one as they need the constant attention that siblings give each other.

On the other hand you could argue that only children quickly learn to amuse themselves and become very self-sufficient. As an only child I very much appreciate the fact that I’m not dependent on any one else for entertainment. I certainly don’t need constant attention from others. I would very much see that as a deficiency.

I've got one. I think it's much easier this way.

Mine have a big age gap and I had found it really easy with one! She was really self sufficient though.

I'd say my nephew, an only child, was probably as easy as it gets. Also the most considerate and well-mannered boy and young man you could imagine.

I had two, one of whom was easy, the other nervy and needing constant propping up.

Out of my own childhood sibling group, the 4 of us were vastly different: one sensitive and needy child, then one fairly self-sufficient and inclined to mother the others, one extremely self-sufficient and one who used to have off-days but was otherwise easygoing.

I have an only child. Less work than 2, happy with our choice!

I think 1 is a walk in the park, especially when they get to age 3.

i haven't made out my choice was better, just told it like it was as i have found one easy. but my choice wasn't to have one. i have secondary infertility and tried for 10 years to have a second and couldn't. i would have given anything to have had a second pop at it, you have no idea. broke my heart in a way that only a secondary infertility suffered would know. and yes, i am lucky to have one........

@almostfreeatlast Interestingly most posters seem to have assumed I must have one! I’m in the same camp as you I love that my lot can direct their ‘why is the sky blue’ questions at each other!

I don’t think anyone’s choice is wrong/right, we each have our own reasons for having kids in the first place and for how many we choose to have. 🤷‍♀️

All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way Leo Tolstoy

YABVU. HTH.