DH asked me to take underwear pics at work

[AdalbertWaffling]

So today I get a text from DH asking for me to go and take some pics of me in my underwear in the loos at work and send them to him. I replied "No... X". Firstly I was super busy so didn't have time, secondly I can't think of anything less sexy than taking my top off in a toilet cubicle and trying to take a selfie, and thirdly I'M AT WORK so really didn't feel like it was appropriate.

I have now asked him something else and just got back "No... X", so he's obviously pissed off at my response, or lack of. Tbh knowing him he probably would have been fine with me saying no by laughing it off, or in a way that didn't make him feel bad for asking. I'm really not sure if IABU here! I don't think I was in that I was at work, but also we're in a loving relationship and maybe I should have been a bit kinder in my response? Or maybe I should have just nipped off for 2 mins, taken a selfie and not been such a prude???

is it possible it's 'i'll show you my oh you show me yours ' with his work mates on their phones ?
sounds horrible anyway to ask you at work then sulk about it when you say no

Now all the feminists come out to play. OP I don't think it weird or disgusting, it works for a lot of people to keep fires alive. As for unprofessional.... Who on earth is going to see?

If you were super busy etc then yes just bat it off, if he is narked then yous need to talk.

What's being professional and finding it really unwise to take bloody wank fodder pics at work got to do with feminism? JFC so many just have no fucking boundaries at all (or imagination).

Oh dear. Oh no. The evil, dreaded FEMINISTS are out in force to point out creepy, sleazy behaviour.

Damn.

Ladies, remember, you exist to provide sexual servitude to your menz. Anything that doesn't provide sexual servitude to the menz makes you a boring, cold, frigid PRUDE. Don't ever forget that. /s

Pretty sure that whatever you do in the toilet is your own business, not your bosses...

Not if you are doing it in work time or your employer classes it to be misconduct.

No....X should be a new catchphrase you can both use!! You owe him one now

One of my rules in life is never to allow myself to be photographed in a naked or semi naked state that you would not want the world to see.

Relationships break down, all things may happen, you may lose control of those images.

That is a No...X

@Goldenwrapper
So you regularly send nude pics to your partner and you don’t think it makes you sleazy and immature.

Really? 🙄🙄🙄

He’s been watching too much Fleabag. He’s missed the point of Fleabag.

My DH wouldn't ever dream of even asking.

I don't identify as a feminist. I'd never want a picture of me like that to be in circulation.

How about turning this around.

He could've been kinder and not asked you such a bloody stupid thing in the first place.

Is he a teenager? Does he have a porn or webcam habit? Is he usually very immature and does he not respect the fact you're at work? Is he a bit... dim?

Keeping fires alive PP? Yeah ok, him first then...

He cannot be very busy in work then?
Personally I do not have time for texting in work either.

As for unprofessional.... Who on earth is going to see?

Well, just from that one exchange in post one we can tell that he is a petty individual. No tit pics for him, no favour for her.

So if she obliged, and if in the future they were to break up, he'd have in his possession photos of her taken in the toilets at her workplace... At the very least that would result in an awkward conversation at work, probably worse.

It's not even sleazy really just a bit dire and sad. Can he not get through the work day without some random pics of you in a work toilet cubicle in your undies?
I'm cringing for him.

What's feminist about not wanting to get my kit off in the works bogs? It's hardly bloody romantic or sexy. If DH wants a wank at work (bit precarious, he's a driving instructor) he can get his 'inspiration' online. Mind you, Peppa Pig looks sexier than me so, easy done.

Noone is "beating off" to them- atleast not at work 😉 - my DH and I share pictures because it's fun, its makes the day a little more pleasurable and doubles up as light foreplay.
None apart from us knows what we are doing and we aren't hurting anybody 🤷🏼‍♀️

By the way, I hope whatever he refused to do for you wasn't something important or something related to your dc's. Because that would make him a serious dickhead.

God, I'm glad I'm old.

And why do people want those sorts of photos 'out there'?

Nude pictures between consenting partners is not 'sleazy and immature'. It might not be something you would do, but if both parties enjoy it then 🤷🏻‍♀️ It's sleazy if someone pressures their partner into taking pictures they don't want to, so if OP's partner is trying to guilt her into taking them or otherwise pressure her then it's not good. But there's nothing wrong with two adults in a relationship exchanging photos of each other.

I just wouldn't ever take any nudes/underwear pics.

You'd be surprised (or not) how many men show their friends/work colleagues the pictures. I didn't believe my DP when he told me and he showed me the work Whatsapp group and showed me all these pictures of their partners in their underwear. It's disgusting and I just wish I knew their names so I could tell them.

Now all the feminists come out to play.

Wow, inverted misogyny at its best, love it

One of my rules in life is never to allow myself to be photographed in a naked or semi naked state that you would not want the world to see.

Relationships break down, all things may happen, you may lose control of those images.

This. 100% Cyber awareness 101. If you are fine with such images potentially being everywhere, crack on. I say that as someone who posed nude for friends studying photography back when I was young and had a beautiful body. Not in a commercial setting or whilst at work, that's just stupid.

goldenwrapper that's great for you but it's not for everyone. i'm with brenda revenge porn isn't much fun either, someone i used to know did photos with her ex, he finished with her and they ended up on social media.

I don't see the problem (assuming his response was lighthearted). He asked. You said no. I might have sent him a quick down-the-top shot of my cleavage if I was in the loo anyway. It's not weird or creepy! Hes your husband!