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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH asked me to take underwear pics at work

290 replies

AdalbertWaffling · 22/01/2020 17:31

So today I get a text from DH asking for me to go and take some pics of me in my underwear in the loos at work and send them to him. I replied "No... X". Firstly I was super busy so didn't have time, secondly I can't think of anything less sexy than taking my top off in a toilet cubicle and trying to take a selfie, and thirdly I'M AT WORK so really didn't feel like it was appropriate.

I have now asked him something else and just got back "No... X", so he's obviously pissed off at my response, or lack of. Tbh knowing him he probably would have been fine with me saying no by laughing it off, or in a way that didn't make him feel bad for asking. I'm really not sure if IABU here! I don't think I was in that I was at work, but also we're in a loving relationship and maybe I should have been a bit kinder in my response? Or maybe I should have just nipped off for 2 mins, taken a selfie and not been such a prude???

OP posts:
ConsolidateTheBiscuits · 22/01/2020 18:20

So he's asked you to do this several times. Why is he turned on by the idea of you in your undies in the work bogs? Surely you can take some pictures in your pants at home, or is it a fetish thing?

Emmelina · 22/01/2020 18:22

“Busy love... later ;) x”

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/01/2020 18:23

and no I don't work anywhere that it would have been classed as gross misconduct (school, etc).

I've worked in some pretty mundane places but I don't think I've worked anywhere where taking sexually suggestive, semi-nude pics in the office would be considered fine and dandy. that just isn't the sort of thing you should be doing in virtually any workplace.

MrOnionsBumperRoller · 22/01/2020 18:23

Ask him to take a photo of his cock slapped on the cafeteria counter at work? Or spreadeagled across his desk?

iklboo · 22/01/2020 18:23

I'd have been tempted - however long it took - to strip off my undies, put them back on over my clothes and then take the photo.

HaudMaDug · 22/01/2020 18:25

Tell him to grow up and get on with his work. Can't imagine his boss is allowing time out for a wank within normal working hours.

KaptainKaveman · 22/01/2020 18:26

" I don't work anywhere where it would have been classed as gross misconduct"

I pity your poor colleagues then. Do you work in a strip club or as an illegal?

Onlyforthis2 · 22/01/2020 18:26

I'm assuming he was also at work? So was he intending to get his rocks off in his lunch break? I don't see another purpose for the text other than that. If the idea was to give him a teaser for later then a "can't wait to see you ;)" would have done it.

Definitely inappropriate

Tartyflette · 22/01/2020 18:27

I'd be wondering if he was going to show them to or share them with his mates....

KaptainKaveman · 22/01/2020 18:27

In porn? Sounds like your dh has no concept of boundaries or normal behaviour. Poor you.

ShoesandmoreShoes · 22/01/2020 18:28

It's inappropriate and I'd be annoyed that he kept asking if you're saying 'no'.

TheBlueStocking · 22/01/2020 18:29

I don't think it's a big deal personally.

speakout · 22/01/2020 18:30

Sleazy and creepy.

eminencegrise · 22/01/2020 18:31

I think I'd rather be single forever than ever have to go out and there again and expose myself to all these rank, pervy, porn-obsessed horndogs who act like teenagers. Yuk.

speakout · 22/01/2020 18:34

eminencegrise

There are plenty grown up decent men.

Original poster
AdalbertWaffling · 22/01/2020 18:35

I pity your poor colleagues then. Do you work in a strip club or as an illegal?

I have already said that I don't think it's appropriate, but I wasn't exactly considering stripping off at my desk in front of everyoneHmm Pretty sure that whatever you do in the toilet is your own business, not your bosses... unless it's illegal which this is definitely not

OP posts:
MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 22/01/2020 18:35

YANBU

I work from home and wouldn't do it in with time!!

Junie70 · 22/01/2020 18:36

Was it for him, OP? Or was he going to show you off to his mates??

And why would he want to be aroused when presumably he's at work too...........

Shudders. I'd be having the "if you ask me that again, we're over" conversation. And meaning it.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 22/01/2020 18:36

Work time not with time ffs

Goldenwrapper · 22/01/2020 18:37

I dont seen the issue and regularly send nude pictures to my partner...I dont think it makes you sleazy or immature

Goldenwrapper · 22/01/2020 18:38

*see

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/01/2020 18:40

Pretty sure that whatever you do in the toilet is your own business, not your bosses...

There are plenty of things, even though legal, that you can be disciplined for doing at work even in an enclosed space. Just because it's a toilet cubicle doesn't mean standards of professional conduct don't apply. Taking sexually suggestive photos in a work environment would normally be particularly frowned upon because it would mean those sexually suggestive photos are out there with part of the company building in the background (however anonymous you might think it looks and however much you trust your DH not to go posting them on the Internet).

WeHaveSnowdrops · 22/01/2020 18:42

Gross and creepy.

Funguy · 22/01/2020 18:42

How old is he? 15? How pathetic.

eminencegrise · 22/01/2020 18:48

I dont seen the issue and regularly send nude pictures to my partner...I dont think it makes you sleazy or immature

At work? It may not make you sleazy or immature but it does make you quite unwise.

Personally wouldn't be interested in a person so vapid they need something other than their imagination to beat off to.

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