To wonder why my husband couldn’t lay on top of hospital bed next to me?

[Amyarmadillo1990]

So I’ve been in hospital a couple of times over my adult life, twice when I had my children, both times during labour my husband would lay on the bed with me,
Mostly we would both sleep, then I had an operation a few months back and before the op whilst I was in pain he would again lay next to me, either to cuddle me or just to talk but it was just nice to know he was right next to me when I was so poorly. Recently I was taken into hosp again, really poorly, never felt so horrific in my life. I was in tears a lot of the time and just an all round mess. My husband was working nights but he still came to hosp every day to see me. Every day we would both lay on top of the covers and sleep, during my stay we saw many nurses, sister of the ward etc and no one said anything. On the last day, a nurse younger than us came into do my obs, and yelled at my husband to get off the bed as it wasn’t really appropriate. When I asked why, as we were only napping, on top of the covers, she said it just doesn’t look very good does it’
We’re 30 and married, what exactly doesn’t look good about it? It’s not as if we were naked 😂
I’m just wondering if this is an actual rule, and if so why it’s been allowed before, I’ve seen lots of partners lay on beds during the times I’ve been in hospital! Or is it up to the nurses to decide or was my nurse just having a bad day that day? 😂 genuinley curious! Hoping I don’t have to go into hosp again for a loooong time but just want to be up to date on bed rules just incase 🙈

It’s the fact that you stated that the nurse was younger than you. Shows that you had it in for her, not the other way round.

I’ve had 10+ hospital admissions in the last year, and these repeated admissions are ongoing... My stepson (5) gets on my bed for a cuddle as he struggles with me not coming home with them and wants me to feel better- he takes his shoes off and cwtches up. My partner does not get on the bed- there’s not enough room!! And it usually states not to for infection control—It’s actually really tough to have no physical contact with a partner when you’re feeling vulnerable :( I’d love a cuddle but it’s not doable or appropriate- I’d feel uncomfortable if a couple were cuddled up in front of a ward.... Little one gets away with breaking this rule, he’s usually sneezed all over me anyway 🙄 and it’s not like anyone is going to feel uncomfortable about him being on my bed- it wouldn’t surprise me if I get told off for germ purposes at some point but a week of lonely days and nights, away from home comforts, I’ll keep risking it for a little bit of normality...

On MN no one is ever just ill, it's always blue lights and near death and worst ever and doctors have never seen anyone this bad in their entire lives, every one of them, and I need/must have DP at all times.

I never used to see partners lying in bed with patients but now see it more often. Infection control issues to one side it can be uncomfortable/embarrassing for any other patients around you.
I recently politely asked one man to get out of the bed and he asked me why? Tired hungry and thirsty I quickly replied “because we running a hospital here not a holiday camp”.
Please don’t do it, our job is difficult enough and good knows we have enough to do and put up with without people behaving in a such a crass way.

Some people just can't adult anymore, Tired, some are very entitled (the rules don't apply to me because I NEED my bloke there! I was upset my bloke wasn't fed!), some have no boundaries at all and some are just downright thick.

I'm quite poorly and as a result spend a lot of time in hospital - 14 weeks in total last year. I was last admitted at the start of December and wasn't discharged until the second week of January. Whenever they would visit, my youngest daughter (aged 10) would get into the bed with me for a snuggle - she really needed it as she was so worried - and no one batted an eyelid.

There was one day when I was very upset, so my DH went and asked the Nurses if I could have some privacy for a bit, so they pulled the curtains round the bed and DH lay (on top of the covers) next to me and gave me a cuddle and stroked my back until I'd calmed down. That was the only time he lay on the bed, although he sat on the end of it regularly, as did other patients' visitors.

I wouldn't like to see couples laying on (or worse, in!) hospital beds together; it would make me feel very uncomfortable, especially as a patient, because it's not like you can just walk away to avoid seeing it. It's just inappropriate. It's slightly different if you're in a private room, but you should have the curtain to the internal window/in the door pulled shut, so people passing don't have to look. In that situation, the visitor should still expect to be asked to get off the bed should a Nurse come in.

Totally inappropriate and slightly strange

I don’t understand why your husband would want to interrupt you being able to sleep and rest on your own. The beds are not made for two people. Seems a bit space invading for his own needs

My mum was in hospital, I sat on edge of her bed and we got told off by a nurse. We both turned round to complain, looked at each other, then apologised to nurse and I moved my arse off the bed.

It makes absolute sense why you wouldn’t want visitors on the patients bed

I frequently find a patient and their partner under the sheets even if theyve pulled the curtains round many they don’t fit well and other patients see what’s going in. Secondly if I’m trying to do something to the patient blood pressure etc I feel uncomfortable and many make it clear I’m disturbing them!
But this goes with other stuff like people asking for croissants for breakfast and complaining about or wanting a “view” out of the window!

But this goes with other stuff like people asking for croissants for breakfast and complaining about or wanting a “view” out of the window!

And treating all the staff like tea ladies.

complaining about or wanting a “view” out of the window!

How remiss of you to build a hospital without a view for them! Didn’t you consult them before you chose that location for your hospital?

I bet they’ve no view at home.

Never seen a partner lay on a bed

My elderly mum had this when in hospital a number of years ago. It was a young couple late teens. Totally inappropriate and directly across from her in the ward. 6 beds in total. Not sure if they got told off but I think the patient (a girl) wasn't there long.

Haven't read all 14 pages so apologies if I'm repeating but at our Trust the second biggest expenditure after staff wages is insurance.
A bed will be insured for one person not 2. The staff shouldnt have to tell you that. A hospital profiling bed can cost anything up to around £12k each. If it breaks because it isnt designed for 2, they would be hard pressed to get that money back from the insurers.
Ours will only safely hold up to 32 stones in weight, 2 adults can easily exceed this.
Well done to your young nurse for pointing out your error.

My personal fav are the people who truly believe that hospital sockets are there for the purpose of charging their fucking phones, not delivering drugs to patients and medical equipment.

Does he get in the dentist chair with you? 😕

But this goes with other stuff like people asking for croissants for breakfast and complaining about or wanting a “view” out of the window!

This takes the biscuit!

Plus I was having a terrible time trying to sleep.

so what about the rest of the ward while you're busy sharing a bed?
Thankfully a while ago, but my most recent stay on a gynae ward I complained about the number of male visitors allowed to stay way beyond visiting hours, which made me feel really uncomfortable, let alone stay the night and sleep with patients.

complaining about or wanting a “view” out of the window!

I once had a patient transferred from another ward to mine. His bed had been by a window in the other ward and I had four family members pile into my office to aggressively harangue me because he no longer had a view and what was I going to do about it. They obviously didn’t appreciate the life saving surgery or intensive nursing care he’d received. It all apparently paled into insignificance because of no view. 🙄

Oh well, AlexaAmbidextra, at least they piled inyo your office and not hid bed

Not everyone is the same, just because some of you are comforted by hand holding in a stressful situation that doesn't mean everyone is.

Yeah the risk of infection, and all that are good reasons, but no one should ever be ashamed to show their partner they love them. If someone else is uncomfortable because of it that's on them, not the couple. Then again I'm not really bothered by people being affectionate to one another, even in public.

Love is beautiful. No matter the age.

@RogueCloud

Not everyone is the same, just because some of you are comforted by hand holding in a stressful situation that doesn't mean everyone is.

Yeah the risk of infection, and all that are good reasons, but no one should ever be ashamed to show their partner they love them. If someone else is uncomfortable because of it that's on them, not the couple. Then again I'm not really bothered by people being affectionate to one another, even in public.

Love is beautiful. No matter the age.

You resurrected an ancient thread to give us that load of saccharine sentiment. Most helpful.

ZOMBIE!!

I don't know why but this thread has brought back the memories of thd lady who posted quite a while ago. She'd given birth and her husband was staying overnight with her on the ward, he was walking around in a nightie mid morning and she wanted to know if she should complain to PALs that the midwife had asked him to get dressed.