Just been treated to not one, but two

[Tyrozet]

Unsolicited dick pics.

Sadly from DPs best friend. I messaged him to see how he's doing and somehow he thought this was appropriate. I thought he was joking when he said he was going to send one.

I've laughed it off and turned off notifications for his messages now. I don't know if I should tell DP or just leave it. He's having an awful time just now as it is, but I'd be really upset if I thought he was looking at pictures of another girl in a similar vein.

Also I want to delete the pictures but I don't want it to look like I was trying to be secretive if/when it comes out.

We see this friend once a year. He's older than DP and DP looks up to him somewhat.

Should I just delete/ignore?

He definitely meant to send them. It wasnt accidental.

You need to tell him. If DP's friend feels guilty and tells DP while you've clearly kept it from him it doesn't look good. And I suspect no amount of, 'I didn't want to upset you!' would make your DP think that your silence was justifiable.

Your partner is not a child things that things ought to be hidden from for his own good. Tell him so he can move forward in full possession of all the facts and keep the message chain intact so that he can see you did not solicit it in any way.

Of course you have to tell DP. He's not a child. He has a right to know. His friend should be blocked and deleted

Yuk! Just tel your DP the sooner the better, just take it from there.

Recover the deleted pictures, show them to your DP. If you want to protect his feelings, assure him you aren’t upset and you aren’t expecting him to take any action on your behalf, just think he ought to know. Hopefully he will back off from the friend, but if he’s in a fragile state atm he probably isn’t up to a confrontation.

Or you could text the friend and ask him what the bloody hell he is playing at and that he must know you now have no option but to tell your DH... and does he realise he's jeopardised his friendship? At least then when you do tell your DH, you'll have a bit more context and and can show that you have challenged such behaviour.

You have to tell DP

Show him the pics and tell your DP you are blocking him
Don't reply to the friend and let your DP sort it with him.

Not sure there is any need to tell the police like a PP suggested?

Yep, tell him now - any other course of action has the potential to blow up later into something even worse. It’s not your responsibility to manage the outcome because you had no part in what happened.

Wow some people really show others how much of a dick they are, dont they!

Tell your dp. Be angry the friend thought this was acceptable. Have him at arms length. He jsnt a good guy.

I’d be telling my DP, anything else would just make me look guilty, IMO.

I agree you have to tell him. You shouldn't have deleted the pictures.

I think this guy was well of of order here TBH. Tell DP so he knows what has happened . This guy is not a "friend" but a disgusting creep who hits on his friends wife!?

Why the fuck are you laughing it off?

I'd have gone through anybody who sent me a dick pic

Did you respond?

I agree you should tell her partner. Don’t make excuses for this sleaze. He’s not a friend.

@outtherealone - tell the police? Seriously? You think the police have time and resources to do something about dick pics? 😂

I hate dick pics at the best of times. I have no idea what he was thinking by sending them. Silly man. Please tell your dp.

Absolutely disgusting. Tell your dh.

Why were you messaging dh's friend though? That in itself is a bit weird i think!

He wove an innuendo into the conversation, which I swerved with a joke and a "nothing could tempt me away from DP" - I had no idea he was actually going to follow it up with a picture. Conversation before that was just basic "Hi, how's life?" type thing

so what was the innuendo that would make a guy think he could send a dick pic? Any yes how did the conversation end ? What did you say after the photos?

Tell your DP.

It is much better to have it out in the open.

and cut off contact completely with the other guy.

Tell him. It’s important that your DP knows where he stands with this friend and places no more trust in him.

You’ve got to tell your DP.

Tell your DP - now!

Forward them to him if that's possible.

What a horrible man his "friend" is! you don't want to have any contact with him again.

Don't respond; block him; don't meet with him (even in company - excuse yourself); don't give him any excuse to claim that you "led him on or anything like that (silence is often claimed as consent by these vile men).

You have to tell your DP. The dick pic was a “power move” to isolate you from your partner by creating a secret between you and this man who was pretending to be your DP’s friend. It gives him leverage over you “do this or I’ll tell your DP you and I have a sexy secret...”. The fact that you have considered NOT telling your DP, even for a moment, shows you how effective this is.

Tell your partner. Don’t couch it in an apology (“I’m sorry but I messaged your friend and...”) but as a statement of fact - “Brian just sent me a dick pic - two, in fact - on purpose. I’m not going to ask you to bring it up with him - I have given it the attention it deserves by ignoring - but he is out of our lives for good now. I can’t believe he turned out to be such a creep after all this time.”

That's vile! You definitely have to tell your dp ASAP.
Do you often message his friend for a chat? Has he ever done anything like this before?