smoking

[Hopex3]

AIBU to think smoking if you have children is an incredibly selfish decision? having a debate with a friend who claims as she does it out of sight of her children it is not and she is entitled to a vice as she devotes her life to the children. from my view, it can cause illnesses, costs money that could go on other things for the family and quite frankly isnt a healthy thing for a child to be around (will still be on clothes/hair etc.) even if they dont see it? think I feel strongly as I remember as a child putting a cushion over my face to avoid the smoke from my dads 30 a day habit - I really do think its revolting

Jesus you're a pain in the arse, OP. It's time for bed nope nunight.

I'm not sure if anyone has made this point as to why smoking isn't selfish as I skipped ahead.

But, actuarialy smoking is a very positive choice and smokers will get lower pension contributions as they will be expected to live for less time whilst claiming their pension.

They also act as net economic contributors on the whole as in addition to the massive amounts they pay in additional tax, they need less care after retirement and do the decent thing and peg out fairly quickly, thereby leaving their children more inheritance as it hasn't been spent on nursing homes. For those without funds (as it's all been spent on fags and lollygagging), there is less recourse to government funding, as they'll be nice and dead.

Smoking has also been shown to lower dementia rates, so not only do smokers die sooner, but they tend to be cognisant up until death.

Smokers largely confer a net benefit to non-smokers. Plus non-smokers also get to whinge about smokers and feel morally superior whilst reaping the financial benefits.

Plus, smokers tend to look older thereby making you feel like a glowing-cheeked youth in the prime of your life in comparison.

What's not to fucking like?

OP, aren't YOU being selfish by staying with a smoker who is endangering/denying your kids treats? Maybe put your own house in order before judging your friend. If it's so selfish, why are you condoning/ enabling him?

Is this why it's bothering you so much?

ILikeyourHairyHands I actually love this, thanks for cheering me up after I've got so much shit for disliking smoking

Really 'Hun', (soz it's how we speak round here now!)

Time for bed Put down the prosecco....and gin o'clock was at tea time !

Not doing any of those ....please visit GP for MH assesment !

Ps...I don't smoke !

thanks for cheering me up after I've got so much shit for disliking smoking

Do you have a compression issues? You didn't get shit for not liking smoking. You got shit for acting shit

preaching about bullying and having no friends, yet some of the way people are speaking to me and the comments I'm getting because I have an opinion on smoking...dont think any of you can say anything to me on my attitude, dont deserve some of the shit I'm getting on here, my friend debated this just as much as me and brought the subject up earlier. I put it on here as was curious to see what others thought. I have accepted the large majority dont agree I have already said this. I also said I wont be debating it with my friend anymore as we are clearly never going to agree. as for the partner situation it really isnt any different, hes just as selfish, the difference being he did not try and argue this with me and rant and rave at me for ages trying to engage me into a debate knowing full well what I think. she is no shrinking violet trust me.

OnceUponAMidnightBeery - tbh it probably really doesnt help and probably does make me more irritated by it

AllergicToAMop no I'm pretty sure I've been given shit cos of my opinion on smoking lol

When I gave up smoking four years ago I swore that I wouldn't become one of those know-it-all, frothing at the mouth, ex-smoker evangelists. Reading this thread I'm really glad I stuck to that vow. 🙄

justcly good for you

why is other people who are commenting that they think its disgusting etc. and agreeing with me not getting the same kind of comments? oh because it's a pack mentality on here isnt it, yet I'm the bully

I grew up in an era of my parents and family all heavy smokers. Car journeys particularly were a fog of throaty Rothmans smoke and I hated it. I have never smoked.

People like me aren't defending smoking, we're saying your holier than thou attitude is what stinks (and how you delivered it to your friend).

Your insistence that a parent's every waking moment and every single penny must be spent on the child's "needs and wants" and the way you are twisting every person who doesn't fall into line with you as being a bully or a founding member of the fag ash lil appreciation society.

why is other people who are commenting that they think its disgusting etc. and agreeing with me not getting the same kind of comments?

Kind of tells you that I was right...🤷😂

You e been given shit @Hopex3 because you're focussing on the cost and not the health issues!

You'd leave your DH if he couldn't pay for shoes but it's ok to poison your child with second hand smoke.... you're ignoring your home issues and focussing on things that don't affect you but are of less importance anyway.

You’re getting grief because you’re a hypocrite and you’re really sanctimonious. You’re repeatedly asking this question and being given the answer. Why can’t you see that?? Also you’ve spent hours on this thread - hours you could have spent playing with a nurturing your children, yet you’ve put your own selfish needs of trying to win on AIBU above your children.

I'm glad you enjoyed it Hope, I trained as an actuary and used to work for a brokers in the City that sold group health-care, pensions and insurance. Smokers always conferred a net benefit to others in a given group-scheme.

I speak as a smoker of 30 years. My smoking is my business. But I like to see it as a bit of community work too.

You may all thank me after I'm dead.

I have to say though OP, I think you may be projecting your feelings about your partner's habits and your previous smoking, onto your friend.

Smoking is a disgusting, filthy habit
and extremely selfish when a smoker forces children and other non-smokers to breathe their secondhand smoke. I agree with the OP absolutely.

I sense that most of the mind-your-own-business posters are smokers.

Haven't rtft
I agree. I grew up around smoking.
I sometimes vomit if I smell it now.
Absolutely no way would I subject my children to it unless I wore an ebola suit and had a long shower after each one. Well, even then I wouldn't but you get the idea

ILikeyourHairyHands quite possibly but atleast you've put it a way I can actually say fair play and havent attacked me. I think its ironic the people who are saying I attacked my friend and have bullied her have come st me in exactly the same way as I apparently went at her. I accept some of my strong opinion on it could be not helped by the situation with my partner who I have also had issues with recently hence my post about him being lazy. however, this was stated like I said due to my friend debating it too. it wasnt only me who got heated about it, she is entitled to her opinion just as much as I am mine. maybe next time I get into a debate I'll keep it between me and said person. lesson learned!

@squeamishsquamish the m not and never been a smoker, I would never be in a relationship with a smoker.... but the OP is only focussed on the inability to afford shoes for children. Her DH is a smoker, she tried to conceive whilst smoking and stopped because she couldn't conceive,. She allowed her DH to endanger her DDs life, but because he can afford new shoes for the DD she had t shown him the door.

Did you read any of the thread?

It's very difficult to 'force' people to breathe one's some these days as smoking in public places is illegal.

You're at liberty to leave any environment where a smoker is present.

spongejack how incredibly selective and simplistic of you. I stopped a long time before I conceived my first pregnancy, how dare you use my fertility struggles to try and get people onside in an argument that is not personal to you whatsoever. the not being able to afford shoes but being able to afford 20 fags a day was just one example of being selfish. you defended my friends choice to smoke before it was mentioned my partner makes the selfish choice to smoke aswell. you either think it's a danger to children or you dont. make up your mind. dont jump on the bandwagon just to be a bitch.

Oh ffs I hate smoking but

How did I get to page 13 of this dribble 😴

You don’t become a parent & at the same time evolve into a perfect human being with no faults. except you OP

Sounds like your friend loves her kids, doesn’t smoke in the house & is devoted to them (your words.)

Stop being such a judgey smart arse, people don’t like that OP... even more than they dislike (gasps) smokers 😱

I think my partner is selfish that he smokes and has children too. doesnt take away from my original point because I dont smoke - I can dislike it if I want to