to have refused to go because DP expected me to sit in back?

[Fauxfurrealwhiskey]

Wee bit of context before I start: DP has two DDs aged 11 and 9. He has a lot of residual guilt over leaving them/their mum back when they were little (years before we met) and consequently he lets his youngest daughter in particular get away with an awful lot that he shouldn't imo.

We've been dating for two years and don't live together.

He's on his way to drop them back to their mums, when I don't have my DC and am free I usually go along to keep him company (hour drive each way) so agreed to again this time.

He turned up to pick me up with his DD2 in the front seat. As I approached the car he told me I was in the back. I asked if I could sit in the front. He said she wanted to sit in the front. I told him in that case to go ahead without me then as I'm an adult and not a child so he could pick me up on the way back if he wanted instead and went back in the house. No big row or a scene of anything. I just wasn't willing, as a grown adult, to sit in the back while a 9 year old sits in the front. I would never dream of doing the same to him with my DC.

AIBU to think that adults get priority over children in terms of sitting in the front of the car? It's just basic manners imo.

Or is that horrendously old-fashioned of me and I've been a rampant cow?

Why was OP doing him ' a favour ' ?? I'm with those who say she is being petty. Sit in the back for the journey there and sit in the front going back. Simple.Grow up for heavens sake.

you ANBU I would guess that the 9year-old had deliberately provoked the situation and her Dad let her away with it but then Ive been the Dad of 2girls subsequent partner so I see it from a different angle

Sorry you're being petty as hell. I could understand if you get travel sick with which being in the back seat is a million times worse. But she was in the car first so suck it up.

As a child, my place was in the back.
As an adult, I'm invariably the smallest, so in a car with more adults than front seats, I'm invariably in the back and if necessary squished up in the middle seats.
So unless there is a sound reason for a child being in the front (car sickness, bickering with sibling, awkward car seat to arrange) I've done my fair share of sitting in the back, and it's my turn in life to sit in the front.

With two DCs using booster seats, they both sit in the back unless one is having one of those days (in which case the least annoying child comes up front) to avoid bickering over the front seat anyway.

If she's 9 shouldn't she be in a car seat? Unless she's quite tall.

My DD1 hasn't had a car seat in over a year and she's 10. She's tall for her age. We do let her sit in the front; the only hassle is making sure we switch the air bag back on afterwards.

We don't let her sit in the front when there's a second adult in the car, however. If the OP had said that she never got to sit in the front when his DD was there, then that would be an entirely different matter, but as a one-off, there was probably a very good reason for it.

Children are safer in a high backed booster until they're 1 meter 50 - 1 35 is the legal minimum in the UK but in most countries it's 150.

The back seat is safer at any age, but a mature skeleton makes adults and teens less fragile than prepubescent or early pubescent children.

My DD1 is well taller than 1.35; my DH measures their heights regularly. In fact, we had 2 car seats in my car recently because I'd brought DD2 and a friend home. So DD1 ended up siting in one and her head was nearly touching the ceiling of my small Ford Fiesta.

It would not have bothered me at all, Id have just hopped in the back. I honestly don’t see the problem

Nothing further to add other than that I can't believe this thread is still going.

Lizzie030869 I'm sure she is - doesn't mean she's safe in the front though.

Maybe you're right. We never do it on long journeys though. Tbh, if I'm honest, I've only just started giving way on this myself and I'm not at all comfortable with it. It's my DH who lets her and, as I don't do much driving anymore due to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, my DH does almost all of the driving now. I only drive on the school run mostly, otherwise I drive on my own during the day doing errands.

I'll show him this thread.

YABU, I’ve never seen a grown woman sitting in the back of a car and mistaken her for a child...

Although I would have mistaken a grown woman refusing to sit in the back because a child is her seat as a child...

No one would be hyping my daughter out of the front seat for the last hour of my week with her. Plenty of time to talk to you on the way back. If you want to go then go but dont make a fuss about him wanting to spend their last bit of time that week chatting together, if you don't like that don't go. I couldn't cope with you sulking about it though

who is the child in this situation? really OP? grow up

No one would be hyping my daughter out of the front seat for the last hour of my week with her

Then don’t ask anyone to tag along to keep you company. Quite simple really.

@Lalas1 what a horrible, disrepsectful attitude. I hope to god you never have to be part of a blended family, you'd make it hell!