To the lady I arranged a Christmas gift swap with...

[giftponderings]

On the Christmas gift swap thread, I arranged a gift swap on private messenger.

I posted my parcel on the 3rd Jan and was told my parcel would be posted within the next few days. I have not received anything as of yet. I have sent two private messages asking if my parcel had been delivered and that I had proof of postage if they needed it, and could I please have my proof of postage, as I think my parcel may have got lost.

AIBU to wonder if my parcel has not been posted yet?

To the person who I've sent my parcel to, please can you let me know when I can expect my parcel?

Thank you ☺️

So this mn exchange thing, what's to stop someone (with lots of different mn names) 'exchanging' gifts with loads of different mners but not actually sending anything in return? So in theory they could receive 15/20 or more parcels, is that right?

I don't get why strangers would swap gift but that aside I'd say you aren't going to get your gift.

You could @ them on this thread in case they don't get PMs. Have you advance searched the username, see if there's any post that might suggest a reason for appearing to have ripped you off - health issues, sick family members etc (being generous I know)

You've been scammed.

Send a box of dogcrap to her door.

MN is full of trolls. Why on earth anyone would trust someone on here to send them a swap is beyond me.

So this mn exchange thing, what's to stop someone (with lots of different mn names) 'exchanging' gifts with loads of different mners but not actually sending anything in return? So in theory they could receive 15/20 or more parcels, is that right? confused

Yep!

Why on earth would people give their address to randoms in an Internet forum?
If your child did this you'd go nuts
I sometimes wonder if people should have to pass common sense test before being allowed online

I never knew such a thing existed for grown adults.

Surely it’s no different to signing up to a thread that starts
“I’ll give you my name and address and you can send me a tanner, and then you give me your details and I’ll definitely send you a tenner”.

Madness.

I’m surprised that you’re surprised, OP. You’ve been very naive.

I agree with TwitcherOfCurtains

Send a box of dog shit to their door

You’ve been a bit daft OP. I can’t believe people think gift swaps with strangers is a good idea. It’s bonkers.

I thought the Mumsnet Christmas gift swap thing had been stopped, for this exact reason.

If you have her address, can you ask someone who lives nearby to call round? That's what I would do. I bet she's one of those people who post regular sob stories on different forums to see how much she can scam people out of. Signing up for a gift exchange will just be another way of getting something for nothing.

do people actually do this? with strangers? on mumsnet? I am incredulous.

@Angryfan123

Giving you the benefit of the doubt here, do you not see it's the principle of honesty and integrity that is at heart here? Not the value?

But we all know that many many people on the internet don’t have any of those principles. Nothing can be done to make this mumsnetter post a parcel. I just think most people would be aware they’d taken the risk of posting to a stranger and unfortunately been paired with a bad egg.

Ah OP that's a shame when you've sent yours in good faith, but people on the Internet are not always as they appear

You’ve been scammed. This is why it’s a bad idea to send gifts to random people online. Some will of course be genuine like yourself. But a significant amount will be scammers who had no intention of sending you anything.

Next year spend the amount on a gift for yourself instead, then you get something you want and won’t be taken for a ride

The MN Secret Santa was cancelled a few years ago, it grew too big and unwieldy and frankly the piss takers were to the fore.

These recent swaps threads are not overseen by HQ who would I am sure encourage caution.

If you have her address, can you ask someone who lives nearby to call round?

Ah yes, spread around an address of someone from the internet and get people to call to their house.

That’s not insane at all.

Name and shame them here... might stop it happening again

But people name change all the time so will that do anything other than allow people to bring up old posts from them? Unlikely they’ll come back with same username now.

This happened me on here years ago, (all green fields etc)

Waited ages for swap to turn up, when it finally did it had been opened quite a time previously and had black mould around the rim.

Never bothered again.

Ah OP I feel for you, so sorry that has happened. I did read that thread and thought how lovely it was that people were not as jaded and cynical as me. I don't do that or book swaps as I can barely post stuff I need to on time but I admire those that do.
There are lovely people out there - thinking of woolly hugs and those that send postcards for a poster's child or the threads where people look and send toys that are no longer for sale or source them for the OP or sticker/card swap threads. I like to think there are more that do good out there than who are nefarious. Sadly there are grifters and chancers and that's why we can't have nice things. I like ebay and preloved and have good experiences of both but am aware that it could go tits up either side if you come across a wrong 'un.

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

@PaperbackBlighter

I wasn't suggesting that the OP publishes this person's address online FFS, that would be crazy.

But she may have friends or family in real life who live near to where this woman supposedly lives, who can go and see her, and gently suggest she stops scamming people on the internet.

I wouldn't give up just yet. I keep seeing posts about undelivered packages etc on my local fb page. I have had things sit in my bag for days, even weeks, when I've forgotten to post them - admittedly not packages, but even so, I get distracted, something gets placed on top of the thing that needs posting etc, and so it goes on. I am sorry this has happened to you, and agree, it is a risk we take with people who are not personally known to us. I have taken a similar risk on fb marketplace and fortunately the sellers were honest and kind enough to post their items to me. In one case I paid after they sent it, so I have also been trusted.

I really hope it finds it's way to you soon.

Why?
Just why do this?
With a stranger?
Where you really expecting it to go well?
I just don't understand, if you wanted a present go out and get something you want.