To be upset about friend's comment regarding holiday?

[chanellle]

Me and DH have had absolutely no money for years. We've lived very basic lives, barely getting by. Live in an okay area, but for years we couldn't afford a car so we never went out or had treats. I cannot think of one time we ever went out for a family meal etc. Kids sometimes got Christmas presents from the charity shop as they grew up, and they've never been abroad. They've had 2 holidays in their lives, both of which were at cheap grimy caravan parks in the UK when they were little. DD is now 17 and DS is 15. However the past couple of years things have been steadily improving, and we can finally afford to go abroad this Summer. We are driving to France. The teens, never having had a proper holiday before, cannot wait. DD even picked the Air B and B with me and we let DS choose the city. We're trying to make the holiday focused around them because I always felt bad as they grew up that they really had fuck all from us.

Because of all of this, this holiday is a really big deal for our family, and obviously with the DC getting into late teens it's not like it's something that we'll keep doing each year. Friend was round earlier and I was telling her about the holiday plans, and friend suddenly came out with "I bet you're dreading it aren't you DD, I'd have hated a week away with my parents when I was 17. Bet you'd much rather be in Magaluf with your mates." (DD was in the room). We were both kind of stunned and I changed the topic.

Maybe I am being petty but the comment has really upset me, and it's made DD insecure about the fact that she was actually looking forward to coming away with us. She was excited about it and now she keeps asking "Do you reckon I'm too old to be going with you?" I can't think of why it's bothering me so much but it's made me feel really shit and I've gone off my friend over it.

You and your family sound amazingly tight and loving. I wouldn't be surprised if your friend is jealous. I'd be honest with your daughter and tell her how disappointed with you are with your so called mates comment, it was bitchy and uncalled for and remind your daughter how exciting and special this is gonna be. Your mate is a dick btw

You're friends an idiot, I'm 24, DS is 28 and DB is 23 and we still love going on family holidays. Growing up we couldn't afford trips to abroad so the whole family. aunts cousins grandparents would all go to the caravan and we absolutely loved it. We then managed a trip to Benidorm a couple of years back, 13 of us went and it was the best holiday we've been on

What a nasty thing to say - and how sad that it's made your daughter feel unsure of herself.

There is nothing odd about it at all. I think it's absolutely lovely that your children are happy to go on holiday with you. It's a blessing but also a tribute to you and your husband that they like you and enjoy your company.

I'm sure you'll all have a wonderful time - you deserve it.

I think your friend was very insensitive to make such a remark, especially as she must have seen how excited you are - but it's possible she did not realise how hurtful it would be. However, it would put me off the friendship too.

Thoughtless but the typical stuff of adults trying to banter with teens. Brush it off and enjoy your holiday. We couldn't afford holidays till I was about 13...now I'm 31 and have never stopped going on holiday with my parents, but now we have my baby with us too .

Not to get too down about it but one of the best holidays we had was to Scotland when I was 21 and my brother 18, he unexpectedly died just 2 months later and the holiday has become such a treasured memory for me and my parents. So yeah, basically really enjoy yourself and forget about her. Sounds like you all really deserve it.x

Sounds like a throway comment, she was probably trying to sound as though she was 'down with the kids'.

Need thoughts regarding this
It’s our anniversary tomorrow and DH booked a table for high tea in a upscale restaurant. DC is 3 month old and exclusively breastfed and feeds every 2 to 3 hours. We don’t have anyone to look after her and the fact that she refuses to take bottle makes it difficult for us to leave her with anyone. I have generally breastfed her in places like malls and service stations ( I use breastfeeding cover ). However I don’t know if it’s ok to breastfed her in a upscale restaurant?! The last thing I want on our anniversary is looks and nasty comments. I will breastfeed her before leaving, but travelling and everything will take around 4 hours I suppose. So I will have to feed her in between.If it’s relevant we are going out to restaurant after 3 months☹️

Rude horrible woman. My DDs are 18, 15, 13 and 7 - they all love family holidays including the 18 year old who became very indignant when we tried to plan a half term trip when she would be at uni! She has also been away with her friends - but we all get on and she loves coming away with us. She is jealous. Enjoy your hard earned well deserved holiday and don’t give any more thought to her.

I loved going on holiday with my parents at that age (and still do). Your friend is an idiot. Your holiday plan sounds lovely.

I had a very similar upbringing. We had 2 camping holidays when small and nothing else until I was 17. I've had holidays since but that one at 17, with my parents was the best holiday I've ever had. I felt very grown up because we shared it like the 3 grown ups we were.

What a vile thing to say. I would have been furious and crushed. I went on holiday with my parents until I was 33. My stepsons, all in their late thirties, still come on holiday with us. Holidays with family are special because you have them with your family, the people you love most. Your daughter will have a wonderful time, and is too young to holiday with her mates anyway. Well done you for obviously being a wonderful mum. Enjoy your trip and forget that friend"s number.

It was insensitive, no doubt, but I remember people saying that to me when I was a similar age. In particular, my aunt.

For me I felt like it was more they were just trying to relate to a teenager and assume that I wanted to be around my friends and would therefore think being with my parents on holiday at that age was lame. I just went along with it, but secretly (sort of) really enjoyed myself.

I get why you're hurt, under the circumstances, but unless this friend has given other indications of being insensitive/mean, I wouldn't take it too much to heart.

I really hope you have a great time. You really deserve it

That's a pretty irresponsible comment of your friend to make if she knows any of those circumstances.
Your daughter is not by any means too old to go away with parents. Just off top of my head I have 2 friends holiday with their parents this year and one's 28 and the other is 44!

I still go on holiday with my parents - I’m 35 - I now take my son too. I love my parents’ company - they’re fun and interesting and I genuinely enjoy their company. Maybe her parents were boring. Sure going on holiday with her mates would be fun in a different way but it shouldn’t detract from a fabulous holiday with you x

You will all love it. Ignore the haters.

This is a big deal for you all and your kids are totally involved.

I had a ‘friend’ who, upon having her second child, announced to me they were a ‘Proper family’ knowing full well I took years to have one child with no hope of having another.

People make flip comments. Shrug shoulders, move on.

Your holiday will be brilliant x

Similar situation to you here OP. We started going on holiday -driving and camping in France when our teens were that age. It was AMAZING and they have never forgotten any of it.

We too let them choose where we went. We drove and camped and they decided how long we stayed/ where we went next. They came again in later years bringing friends too 😀

French people seem to holiday in whole family groups-grandparents-teens and babies. We felt part of the culture.

Have a great time and enjoy being together. Clearly you have a great relationship: Perhaps because of your past -and the importance your teen's feelings have to your.

Your friend is deeply envious. Poor them!

Our kids (18-22) still want to come with us. Free holiday, isn’t it!?

My cousin is nearly 29. She is still enjoying going on holiday with her parents. Every year once or twice they go away together and she loves it.

Yep, your mate’s a knob. In fact she’s no friend.

Meant to add, you sound like a wonderful Mum OP.

I have heard and read a lot of complaints about childhoods....but never complaints about loving parents who did their best despite not having a lot of money.

Children honestly remember your time and love...not fancy toys and holidays.

Do not allow this to take the shine from your holiday...that would give this woman a power she does not deserve.

Move on from this and enjoy looking forward to this wonderful holiday. And be very proud of how well you have have done in your life by pushing through difficult years.
💐💐💐

Magaluf. That tells you everything you need to know about tour friend

Tell your DD not to let a mean women to take away her excitement.

Wow thats awful! What a nasty unthoughtful thing to say! I can see why you’re hurt over this! And how awful for your poor daughter to hear after being so excited! France is a beautiful place we have had some wonderful holidays there and your daughter is very lucky to be going as I’m sure she knows. I have never stopped wanting to go on holiday with my parents and I hope my 13 year old still wants to come on holiday with me when shes 17. Maybe shes jealous? Has she got kids similar ages to yours who might not want to go on holiday with her? It just shows you are a close family and obviously have given them a brilliant childhood despite you thinking they haven’t had much growing up, they have obviously had love and security and lots of fun if they still enjoy spending time as a family. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday I’m sure you will!

I'm almost 31 and go away with my parents and brother every year. The only difference is that I'm married with two kids (they come too)! I absolutely love family holidays and would literally always choose to go with them! Your kids will LOVE being on holiday with you xxx

Firstly what really counts is parents who love you and have all the Good qualities like listening, helping, understanding and supporting. My mum was abit useless with these things and they are the things that I remember and feel stung by. We never had holidays growing up. That has not affected me and I don't hold any resentment about that. I just wish I had been given the free things like hugs and a warm chat.

Secondly I hope my kids always want to spend time with us. Plenty of families I know still go away as adults together and grandkids eventually. I would of absolutely gone away at 17 with my parents if they had booked a family holiday.

Family is forever. Your friend doesn't understand how you as a family feel. Plenty of people don't want want a wild week away with friends. That never appealed to me!

Enjoy your holiday. Be happy. Your family unit is yours. Don't worry what one person said. You will all have the best time.

I've taken mine away to Dorset in the UK three times. It's lovely in many ways but stressful. I don't think little kids truly appreciate it in the way yours will. There are many places I'd like to spend more time in. I want to do a mini cruise. I'd love to go sight seeing in London again etc. But I think I'll wait until the kids are teenagers and they will actually appreciate it.

Enjoy your holiday it will be such a treat xx

I thought that it was just a very mindless comment. Holidays with teenage friends at that age can just be full of drama. She'll have a much better time with you.