Dh thinks I should make his lunch

[williams345]

Name change for this because I'm fuming,
Dh keeps moaning that I don't make his lunch for work , I look after the kids, I work, I clean the house. Why doesn't he make my lunch ?
I keep saying to him we are not in the 19th century just because I'm a women doesn't mean I HAVE to make your lunch. He has hands why can't he make it himself and in the past when I did used to make his lunch if I ever missed a day he would rather spend money on McDonalds etc than to not be lazy and make his own lunch !

@SueEllenMishke DH was brought up completely different to me he never had packed lunches he was on dinner tickets at school growing up as neither parent worked so he is extremely appreciative of what i do for him and this is why he kept sharing his lunch with the other lads because at one time he was in their shoes so we choose to help them out.

He's never expected anything which is why i enjoy doing it which is also how i grew up my dad didn't expect my mum just happily did it so to me it seems ok what's not ok to to demand for it to be done. If i was told to do it i would say no as i think that's disrespectful to a woman to be told to do stuff by husbands or partner's

He is a grown man and not a child. If he is working a 12 hour day and comes home exhausted and you didn't work fair enough but it sounds like you do more than your fair share already.... he needs to man up and stop acting like a spoilt child....

wicked it's absolutely fine to do nice things for people. Like I said it's the societal expectations I have an issue with. Your original post did read as though you do it because that's what you saw growing up.

Dairylea lunchable, fruitshoot, and a small box of raisins.

I once found my mum spitting into my dad's sandwich. Just sayin'

How utterly grim, Misty. Thoroughly nasty 🤢

It's the whole mind set that's the problem, that you're purely there to make his life easier and with no give and take on his part. He doesn't see you as an individual human being worthy of his respect and consideration but as a domestic appliance. Surely you don't have sex with such a creature?? He's a tosser of the first order and not worthy of you.

It's always: I iron my DH's shirts and pack his lunch and cook his breakfast and unpack his gym kit etc etc because it's a lovely caring thing to do.
So what does the DH do for you, to show his love?
Oh, loads! He takes bins out and cuts the grass!

Twenty five years ago my DH handed me a loaf of bread and sandwich filler. I asked him why and he said 'it's for my lunch tomorrow' Err if it's for your lunch mate it had no reason to ever be in my hands!

He's never assumed since.

Another one whose mum used to do everything for him - I consider myself a feminist (and also a bit of a lazy cow) I don't even make my own lunch, surely that's why god invented Greggs?!

Oh dear, my condolences on your marrying a child rather than an adult 😳

My dad used to make my mums sandwiches for her when he made his. She does all the housework with exception of hoovering and they share the cooking. They are late 60s. Your DH is being an arse!

My 15 year old goes to bed earlier than my 12 year old as 15 year old has a disability. When 12 says 'But 15 is allowed to do (whatever) so why can't I', I say 'Ah I see, you want to be treated the same. That's fine, you can also start going to bed at 8.30' that seems to help him understand people are different.
So maybe 'You want me to be like X and make your lunch? Great, I was bored with my job I'll quit tomorrow so I can stay at home like X too!'

LellyMcKelly is a ledgend!!

legend laughing so much i cant spell!

Ask him if he's a handless bastard then tell him to fuck right off and don't let him anywhere near you.....say you're too tired to make sandwiches let alone give him a BJ

Inspired by MN, I think you should put laminated photos of his friend's wife's Mercedes in his lunch box. Or just the brochure from the dealership. No lunch. He needs to save up. Leave a note to that effect.

My oh said about getting home to prep his lunch and my fil nearly had a coronary. He turned to me to say that my mil got up early everyday to make up his lunch so I just said "more fo her, youd son is an adult and capable of doing it himself". My relationship with my fil was always going to be difficult (hd thought women should know their place). I have always done the lions share of housework, childcare etc and worked. So once my oh retired (I work) things were supposed to change but they didn't so after nealy 40 years married he will be doing everything for himself as I'm off to look after myself. My mil had a hard life with a dinosaur and it's easy to fall in to certain roles but OP keep telling him no. (I like some of the ideas for sandwiches/lunches etc)

Surely in this day and age no man regards making his lunch as something his wife should do? he should make his own lunch, or buy some.

Omg. I was beginning to think I was a terrible wife. I used to do lunches for everyone when kids were small and I only worked part time.
Now they’re all grown up and working. I’m working full time. DH does long hours 4 days a week. He constantly complains about having to make his own lunch, even if it’s the weekend or his day off and he’s getting ready for the next day.
I also generally dint Cooke for him during the week. He doesn’t do regular hours or have a specific finish time, sometimes he’s home around 7.30/8.00ok, sometimes as late as 10.30, and generally doesn’t know what time he’s getting done til about 1/2 hour beforehand.
So I refuse to wait around to cook in the evening, I often eat at work, I’m a nanny so can eat with the kids. If I am going to be cooking around 8.00 I text and ask if he’ll be home and cook enough for both of us, then get annoyed at his snarky comments about actually being fed during the week. Or if he’s had to do something himself he’ll make sarcastic comments about the lovely nutritious muffins/pizza/all day brekkie he’s having. 🙄

When men view their partners as servants it doesn't get better, it gets old.

My DH used to make my packed lunch when we both worked and there were no canteen facilities where I worked which was 15 miles away from shops. I lost over 2 stone during this time. One day I got up and made his packed lunch. I did it for a week until one day I found that he’d got up an hour earlier deliberately to make his own packed lunch. I was offended when he told me that my lunches were shit and his mates (at work) took the piss out of the love notes that (I thought) I’d kindly put in his lunch box!
Got me out of another job!

My husband used to say this all the time I did for a while then refused. Last few weeks he's made mine, made my point

The problem I have is that o on the rare occasions I don't make his lunch he will buy food out. Usually that's £5 gone which is just a waste. So the cost is another reason for making his lunch.

Do you work OP?

Not really difficult to make the person who pays for everything lunch is it?

It takes all of 5mins.

Heh, make some terrible lunches, I bet he won't ask again 😅

Pineapple, you haven't read the thread. OP very clearly says that, not only does she work, but she does the nursery run at 7.30. So he has more time free in the mornings than she does.

Shezza - that's rubbish. Maybe you should try moaning about how you work FT, and he never makes your lunch. Or why he never cooks for both of you. Remind him that you work FT, just the same as him.