Dh thinks I should make his lunch

[williams345]

Name change for this because I'm fuming,
Dh keeps moaning that I don't make his lunch for work , I look after the kids, I work, I clean the house. Why doesn't he make my lunch ?
I keep saying to him we are not in the 19th century just because I'm a women doesn't mean I HAVE to make your lunch. He has hands why can't he make it himself and in the past when I did used to make his lunch if I ever missed a day he would rather spend money on McDonalds etc than to not be lazy and make his own lunch !

I used to make my STBXH’s packed lunch for work. He would only eat the fruit if he could just throw it into his mouth, so I found myself chopping apples and peeling satsumas FFS

Eventually I woke up and am now with a man who sorts himself out at lunchtime.

@williams345 You already do too much.....

I look after the kids, I work, I clean the house

Are you a doormat?

I look after the kids, I work, I clean the house

AND he wants you to make his lunch (because his mate's wife who DOESN'T work makes his lunch)? What does DH do?
OP what is going on here?

This reminds me of an ex who, early in our relationship, I discovered could not make a sandwich. A grown man who could not.make.a.sandwich.

I knew he couldn’t cook and his mum did everything for him and his brother, including still buying a bag of sweets from the market every week. His brother was married.

She raised incapable men and moaned to me that her daughter-in-law was never home in time to cook eldest son’s dinner. She was a probation officer kind of busy.

Glad I got out of that one and have a husband who can cook, iron, do laundry and do-parent.

His mum still says poor him even though I work longer hours.

Jesus, the vitriol on this thread . To be clear, I don’t necessarily think you should do it, op, but all the tell him to fuck off and shit in his sandwich posts... Really?
Would you expect the same response from him if you asked him to put the bin out?

Dh and I don't have lunch on workdays - he has a protein shake that he keeps at work so we don't have this issue.

While I think your dh is ridiculous to expect you to make his lunch, I see it as just another family chore. So if he was bathing the kids, cleaning etc then of course I'd make his lunch if I was doing it anyway. I wouldn't if he was sitting on his arse doing nothing. In our house until kids in bed and chores done nobody sits down to chill out, regardless of what needs to be done.

Wow, I don't even make my DH's dinner as we have different tastes!
Let him have his pity party, he can't force you

Ii make dp lunch every day when I'm making my own because it takes less than 5 minutes. If I didnt he'd spend £5+ each day rather than make his own.

DH can fuck off.
I had this with an ex of mine. Absolutely ridiculous - he did fuck all else around the place.
Moaned and whinged about what I'd bought at the shops but refused to go himself or suggest what he might like.

Just stand your ground. He's not a child. If he wants his own lunch he can make it himself - also saves him complaining when he doesn't like what you made for him.

I make lunch for my dh but that's because a) he's never once asked me to do this b) I want to c) I'm making lunch for myself so don't see it as a major thing d) we save a ton of money each week by not eating out and e) I know he's not eating crap :-)

I make my husbands pack up every day because I get to work part time while he works full time doing a job he doesn’t like for us to have a nice lifestyle. I really appreciate him and do as much as I can so he can at least spend his time at home happy. If I worked the same I think we would have to take it in turns.when I work at weekends I come home to a cooked dinner so I feel being a member of a family is like being part of a team we all put in for the benefit of the rest!

He's an adult, he needs to start behaving like one.

It’s just something nice I can do to make his day better when at work

OP works. Oddly it has not occurred to her DH to make OPs lunch, just to make her day better when at work...

I resent making my DH lunch even though he works and I don’t! He gets a sandwich about 2 times a week. He cooks most evenings too but that’s just because he is quite a good cook and enjoys it - I hate cooking.
Just laugh at 1950’s man and ignore.

I used to make Dh's when I was a SAHM I did it the night before and stuck it in the fridge as he left very early.
Now he's home SAHP he makes mine and puts it in the fridge the night before.
If you want/like/don't mind doing it then it's fine. If not then he needs to do it himself.
I used to make sure there was milk, apples etc in too. He does the same so theres alway milk in the morning and I don't have to go out to the garage in the cold and rain.

@Thymelord exactly - you have to wonder why women marry these lazy pigs in the first place!

I resent making my DH lunch even though he works and I don’t

That's a bit mean spirited

I can’t remember the last time I made DH a sandwich.
He did start our marriage expecting me to iron his shirts and cook for him.
He learned very quickly how to do these things for himself.

Oh and another reason why I don't mind making them at the moment is that he appreciates it. Most days he'll text me at break saying thank you or how nice it is if I did a bit extra (like putting two kinds of meat in-he's easily pleased).

Tell him to go ask his mummy to make it

I don't see the issue if it's 50/50 but for anyone to just expect it to be done is out of order.

My husband and I work together, exactly the same hours, travel together etc. If I choose to make the lunches I do them the night before, however if they're not already in the fridge my husband does them in the morning as it takes me longer to get ready and he has a bit more spare time. We don't count who does most but I would say on balance it's probably him 😂

If we both cba we take soup or make beans on toast in the office or one of us will buy lunch. Neither of us expects the other to do it

My daughter is 8 not only can and does make herself a sandwich at the weekend but one morning when I woke up looking like death and unable to speak she made me tea and toast and brought it up for me! I was amazed at how thoughtful she had been and how caring. Cue me panicking that she would hurt herself on the toaster or burn herself with the kettle but after a little safety chat, I realised she knew exactly what to do and not to do.
If an 8-year-old has that level of sense and compassion a grown man should be able to cope in the kitchen.
To expect anything to be done for you is selfish and clearly shows he is ungrateful for all of the other tasks you do for the family around the house, as well as contributing to joint finances.

Personally I'd question the whole relationship.
Good luck xx

Well I was going to say why doesn’t he make yours, but you’ve already said that.

He could help out with coming up with ideas on what lunches he'd like to make.

We agreed in our household that we usually make a bit more at dinner and shove them in two boxes..one for me, one for DH. And top with veg that can be steamed in microwave (spinach etc to bulk it out)

I usually cook the evening meal as I get home earlier and DH makes himself and ME a packed lunch