Dh thinks I should make his lunch

[williams345]

Name change for this because I'm fuming,
Dh keeps moaning that I don't make his lunch for work , I look after the kids, I work, I clean the house. Why doesn't he make my lunch ?
I keep saying to him we are not in the 19th century just because I'm a women doesn't mean I HAVE to make your lunch. He has hands why can't he make it himself and in the past when I did used to make his lunch if I ever missed a day he would rather spend money on McDonalds etc than to not be lazy and make his own lunch !

You should prolly tell him to make his own and claim his wife made it just like his coworker does.

My sister has always made her husband’s lunch- I cannot get why she does it. She works full time too! She also makes her 19 year old’s lunch !!! I love her to bits but don’t get this! Do not make his lunch - suggest he makes yours one day and you could take turns. I would be fuming! I have recently stopped doing my DHs washing as he can’t put it in the washing basket! I leave it in piles on the floor and have to restrain myself from picking it up!

You could try my trick (not intentional in my case). A few years ago we were trying to save some money, so while I was making lunches for our three DDs I made DH’s. He loves them, so when I spotted a wrapped scotch egg in the bottom of the fridge which I didn’t know we had I thought it’d be a nice surprise at lunchtime...
We got a message on our family chat, ‘I’m very grateful and I know I’m not fussy, but even I draw the line at half eaten scotch egg - it has teeth marks in it 😳😄’
Turns out it was DD1s boyfriends and he’d only had chance to eat half of it...
DH went back to buying his own lunch.

If you make the kids lunch then make his too... But exactly the same as the kids cut up grapes and banan and strawberries. Sandwhiches cut into 4 with the crusts off. A little small tiny yogurt. And some pom bear crisps. And put a little sticker on each of the things. Then out it in a unicorn lunch box... He won't ask again

I still make lunch for my dh though as I do the kids lunches too.... Not a huge problem really. But seriously if you don't want to do it just say so

When I didn't have a job I used to make lunch for OH and iron his shirts and do all that as I had nothing else to do back then (no kids).

As soon as I started working I stopped doing it all and the only thing my OH ever said was could I please show him how I iron the shirts so he can do it himself from now on. (It had been a long time since he had last been taught).

We don't split housework to "our tasks" either we just both do it together as we both live here. If he has a day off he does all the things needing to be done and vice versa.
Honestly could not live with a person who expects me to do everything just because I don't have a penis.

@SunshineCake - you’re right, he could make one himself and sometimes he even does . Just like I could run my own bath after a long day or make my own coffee first thing in the morning, but these are things he does for me. I know what I do is appreciated so I don’t mind.

It definitely depends on how you have been brought up.

I grew up with my mum getting up every morning and making my dad's breakfast and packed lunch and it's what i do for my DH it seems normal as that is what i grew up seeing. DH thinks it's great and i enjoy doing it so no issues

My DH has 2 lads work for him i also do their packed lunch too 😂 DH was coming home hungry after having to share his lunch so now i just do them all one

Just because you grew up seeing that wicked doesn't make it right!

Great lesson for the young lads who for your DH to learn 🙄

*work for

@SueEllenMishke i don't mind doing it so what's the problem?? My DH felt guilty eating whilst they are hungry. One lad comes from a very poor family and pays majority of his wages on rent as his DM who has a drink and drug problem so is it so appalling i give him a packed lunch when they possibly don't have the food in the house for him to make his own?? Their job is physically hard work they all extremely hard and need food which i am happy to provide so eye roll off.

they all work extremely hard

@SueEllenMishke How is it wrong to do something nice for your other half? Part of a loving relationship is give and take. If @Wickedwoo wants to make a sandwich for someone else, how is that an issue?

@Mamato2gorgeousboys thank you 🙌🏻

@Silverservice1011

Yes!! Do this!!

This is a hangover from the 1950s his mother did it so you are expected to , same with ironing. I havenet managed to shake that one off yet. Only just managed to get him occasionally cooking at aged 72. He does make his own lunch though. Just keep chipping away, dont give up

Doing something because it's a nice gesture is completely different to doing something because that's what women should do.
If your husband wants to feed his staff then he should do it himself.

I work hard but that doesn't mean I can't make own lunch.

@SueEllenMishke it isn't expected of me i do it out of choice. If say i don't feel well for example it's never an issue that he doesn't take a packed lunch made by me, he will do his own or pick something up during the day.

Every Friday he brings me flowers and a bottle of wine home and pays for a Chinese takeaway. He is very good to me and looks after me in lots of ways and i look after him. It works for us so i am happy.

Thing is wicked your circumstances are different. You haven't mentioned whether or not you work - OP does. Furthermore, I would bet your DH doesn't demand or expect that you make his lunches. OP's OH does, and complains because she doesn't. It's the sense of entitlement that is the big problem here.

I make lunch for my husband and daughters, its only a sandwich, if you have time them make him one of not then tell him to make his own.

@pointythings we both work. No sense of entitlement here if he demanded I'd happily tell him bollocks.

He isn't that type of person though thankfully. To him it's a bonus and he'd think men telling their wives or demanding they make a pancked lunch were arseholes

Make him a beautiful sandwich or pasta bowl and tip lots and lots of salt in with the filler. He will learn not to ask again.

wicked of course it's lovely to do nice gestures for the people we care for. I only took issue with the fact you said you did it because you and your DH were brought up in households where the women made lunches and you've carried that on. That comes across as you doing it just because it's 'womens work' That's part of the problem with OP's husband. He clearly thinks it's a job for a woman.

If i married a man who expected or demanded i would not do it at all.