To ask for a financial contribution?

[Drivingmecrazy105]

A colleague of mine recently became unwell and has unfortunately had her driving licence removed. We both live in the same town about an hours drive from our place of work and she has asked me if I can drive her to and from work, every day. There is public transport available but it is infrequent and unreliable and no one else in our workplace who lives locally. She doesn’t live on my route and I have to drive in the opposite direction to and from her home. Every week this adds over an hour to my driving time.

Now whilst I am happy to help, colleague has not offered any sort of financial contribution to help with petrol or the extra time it takes me to drive past my own house to take her home. Her own husband also works from home but doesn’t help out, even by bringing her to my house to save me the daily detour.

WIBU to ask her for a financial contribution? And if not, what can I do to make the conversation less awkward?!

Of you don’t want to broach it, everyday to h cannot drop/pick you up later/tomorrow.
Become very unreliable.
Don’t give reasons, just say oh not going to be able to take you to work tomorrow just as she’s getting out of the car.
Text her in the day plans changed not able to give you a lift

If she starts asking questions - life stuff you know how it is.
If she starts prying it’s personal. She doesn’t have to know you just fancy having a browse in Tesco lol. Plus you’re not lying if she sees you in Tesco.

OP, you expect her to have respect for your time/space/privacy, but you have no self-respect, why would she?

You are not being unkind saying no if you don't want to , you are just being honest.

If you are saying yes, and then seethe, then it's not kindness (though it might have started as kindness), you are just being a people pleaser = a liar, and being a liar makes you uncomfortable and unhappy, even if subconsciously.
She or some posters on mumsnet don't get to decide the degree of your kindness or decency by whether you drive her or not. By not setting boundaries you are making yourself unhappy, why is the colleague's happiness more important than yours?

You may also find out she's not particularly appreciative or happy, and is just taking you for granted, but if you stop providing lifts she'll get mightily pissed off (common story, human nature)

If you are not comfortable or happy being her chauffeur, stop being one, unless her paying would change things for you, then arrange the payment.

I wonder if you didn't live in the same town how she would be getting to work?

@Drivingmecrazy105 - so what have you decided to do?

Another one where the OP disappears, more than likely because they still haven't grown a spine.

Another one where the OP disappears, more than likely because they still haven't grown a spine

She may not work on Sundays, but either way, this is not a soap, the Jeremy Kyle show or reality TV, she got the advice she needed, she is not obliged to report back to us unless she feels like it.

Just wondering if they're is any update here.
Fwiw I don't drive, have never had lessons, and am driven to work by a colleague!
BUT
I found the colleague on www.liftshare.co.uk so I know she wants to give lifts, and the website gives you an indicative petrol contribution, which I exceed.
Also I've suggested pick up and drop off places which suit the driver - I know the area much better than she does so this was needed.

The car share now has 4 people in it, so the driver is raking it in, and three other people have a much easier and cheaper journey to work, so win all round.

I do think it's very sad, especially from an environmental viewpoint, that so many pp think it's better for the colleague's husband to drive her to and from work, an extra four hours of car on the road completely unnecessarily.

If OP needs headspace then fair enough, but if OP can cope with the thought of taking a passenger, maybe 3 days a week, then I think that could work really well for everyone.

I'd approach it in the way pp have suggested, but say you've been checking on liftshare websites and the suggested contribution is x, so if colleague wants to continue long term then let's set something up along these lines to make it fair going forward.

The petrol cost will be so minimal compared to bus fares.

However I do also agree it is weird that the colleague hasn't offered any money. Before my formal liftshare arrangement I got the odd lift from teammates, and is happily accept one or two but after that is insist on buying them breakfast when we went for a team fry up (£2.50 in work canteen). The gesture is very important IMO

YANBU. She's being a CF.

She needs to give you petrol money each time. And I'm not sure I'd be doing it at all if she's not even on your way home. It's not your issue. She needs to look for another job or take taxis if she wants to keep her current job. Not your responsibility.