To ask if these are red flags??

[isthisokay7]

I was thinking of posting to relationships, but I'm pretty desperate RN.

I met a man October on a dating website. Trusted site where you have to pay and be an official type/business person.

I am a 42 year old mum of one 14 year old boy. Man is 53.

Many people have told me i look young for my age, around 34.
I'm honoured, but man looks his age (maybe older) think greying hair, beard etc.
Now, this is not my problem at all.
But dating him, I have noticed red flags that I wrote on a list on my phone, I will put the list here.

1. He has told me he is prone to depression/nervous breakdowns (have read that this is a red flag??)
2. Past smoking addiction.
3. His ex was 20 years younger than him.
4. He is trying to rush the relationship, actually tried to propose last month. I am not joking.
5. He is patronising in arguments.
6. Quite the 'mama's boy' type (fucking hate that phrase though makes me cringe) and asks her for advice for almost everything.

He is constantly phoning me if he's not with me, like when i'm talking to DS and i will be interrupted with a phone call.

But the problem is is that he is so nice, caring and sweet. Wants us to move. Wants the best for DS (who has severe ADHD and we are trying to get into a special school)
I was previously in a bed relationship and i'm recognizing a pattern in the types of people that I date.
I love him dearly but I have no idea if i'm being paranoid or not???

I'm terrified he will turn out to be an arsehole... WTF do I do???

Please be honest. Do you think he's right for me?

Thank you xx

Well played, OP; I'm glad you've blocked him. You have a lovely son who needs you and loves you way more than you need any man. The Freedom Programme is really good; I hope you do it. x

Stay strong isthisokay, ghosting may not work and he may not give up easily. In which case be clear, concise and dont give anything away emotionally.
And please please do the Freedom programme, its empowering

Good decision. Good luck op

I really hope you follow through on that and don't continue to talk to him.

And give your son a bloody big hug and tell him you'll be putting in place stronger boundaries to keep him safe and secure.

Poor boy must be so stressed, I feel so bad for him.

I hope you do, and when he tries to make you change your mind, you stay strong. You deserve a truly loving relationship, but first you do need to work on yourself, and build a support network, so you don't feel you "need" a man.

In the meantime enjoy the love of your son. You are the one he loves and needs.

I think you've made a wise decision. Much better to do it now than to think he will improve and then find yourself too involved to get out easily.

"There are more fish in the sea than ever came out of it"

Well done and good luck!

Good decision op.

But also can you do some counselling to help reduce the chances of this again. You said you love him dearly. You obviously dont, but you need to work out why you tried to convince yourself you did so very soon.

I'll say it again, Op. He has shown you the type of man he is. Believe him. And run!

And quit putting your needs for a companion above those of your own child.(!!)

I think you know deep down this man is wrong for you .Your DC s gut feeling is there for a reason .I would block him and maybe look at counselling .You seem to think being taken out places ,and bought presents seems to make up for a worrying selection of quite strong red flags ! Maybe you have low self esteem ,but I dont think he is as nice as you think and you are clutching at straws here!

Well done for blocking @isthisokay7 .

Try meetup for your area to.see if there's any social groups you could join.

Well done.