Copy of wedding picture

[Nai89]

Hi All.
So I attended my first cousins wedding summer last year {2019}. I'd recently just had a baby too but attended as it was the first wedding where a bride was joining the family.

Anyway so in the last month I asked for a copy of a wedding picture taken professionally (Grooms maternal side). I thought it was great to have an image of my nan, my own uncles, aunts, 1st cousins etc. Everyone in this photo is a close relative plus the fact me, my husband and 3 children are in this photo.

To my dismay I was point blank refused. I was told they're 'private pictures' and that I should respect the grooms wishes (my first cousin). AIBU for asking for a copy? I find it deeply disturbing that no one else in the picture is objecting to me to having a copy but the fact my children are in this image and they won't share it with me.

My eldest son is 7, daughter 5 and newborn. There are other children in this photo too. I am actually livid how they can refuse this, I find it disturbing to the point im not sleeping today. Why won't a 23 Yr old newly married man share a professional group photo of his maternal side??

I got married last year and when people have asked for copies of any photos I have been delighted to share them. I find your cousin's behaviour really odd and very mean.

This is insane! Every wedding I've ever been to has had an opportunity for sharing photos of the event - in the olden days, people looked through the official album of proofs and ordered what they wanted, and in recent years, links are given to the photographer's website for people to order their own copies directly.
Your cousin (and his wife is her name Meghan? ) are being ridiculous.

It’s batshit and precious. It’s also the sort of weirdness that would keep me awake in the small hours too, but then all sorts of stupid things go round and round in my head keeping me awake in the night. Last night it was a blown over plant pot that I’d forgotten to put upright.

YANBU. Your cousin is a wanker.

Do your Aunt and Uncle know that you asked for a copy and he said no?

That’s just odd and insulting. If you mattered enough to them to invite you to their wedding then why not share the photo that you are all on. They’re either trying to hide something or they just plain bonkers. Has anybody else asked and been refused?

Christ what is up with people? I'm sure all those who are saying op is being unreasonable would be angry and wound up if their family members refused them a photo. I think it's ridiculous to say no to giving you a copy of a photo of your family. They just sound like precious no bodies. Like to cause a scene out of nothing. I dont think YABU at all. And I definitely would be distancing myself from them.

@CallmeAngelina
The Meghan comment 👌🏽👌🏽

Is it possible they are planning to send copies out as gifts/thank you?

Definitely YANBU. It may be their wedding but it's a family photo. I really don't understand why they've refused

My daughter got married in 2018 and bought close members of the family a group photo with them all in them as Christmas presents, I can't see why your brother won't let you have them

Doesn't matter if they are weird or precious to refuse. They've paid for a professional photographer. The guests have not paid and have no rights to the photographs. I'm thanking my lucky stars we never got asked because I might have had to do the same. I think the truth in this is that the bride/ couple are not happy with the photos for whatever reason and therefore doesn't want to share them which is fair enough

It sounds a bit precious to me to be honest!! They're gonna be that couple who when they have their first baby they refuse anyone entry to their home for 5 years aren't they 😂

And I have an aunt like yours, expects everything from everyone but gives nothing in return, and if yours is anything like mine then it won't be long til she has the brass neck to expect you to go out of your way for her, upon which you can politely decline!!

@unbaffled It was the aunt who said she couldn’t have the picture. Not her cousin.

maybe they weren't happy with the pictures 🤷‍♀️

As a photographer we provide the digital images so copies can be made without Issues of copywrite. Obviously, it is the bride and grooms prerogative but i personally find it very ‘precious’ of them.

They will likely look back and think so themselves. I took wedding photos of family groups and guests would always have asked me to take a photo of them. I gladly obliged and told them to get in touch with the bride and groom to get it.

Maybe they are planning to print them out to pass on as a gift at some point with the thank you notes.

Speaking as a mum, I would have felt this way about a lot of issues during pregnancy and beyond, and understand your frustration. But I diagnosed with post-natal anxiety, (thankfully my husband then understood it wasn’t just me obsessing unnecessarily about the fact McDonalds ran out of pancakes one morning. )

Try to not overthink it and put it down to their ‘youth’ and write it off in your mind. Consider investing in a portrait session (doesn’t have to cost the earth) as a family before any time runs out, I know how important these photos can be.

toomanyleggings, That's the way wedding photographers work these days. The B&G pay for the 'rights' of the pictures, and can then disseminate them as they please. What on earth is the point of sitting on a bunch of photos that you're not going to let anyone else enjoy?
'As they please' in this case appears to be involving a couple of selfish and precious so-and-sos though, which some weird MNers (and it is only ever here on MN. In real life, normal people would be as perplexed as you are) seem to think is OK.

Could it be they plan to give you a copy as a gift and are rather rudely trying to put you off the scent ?

I agree with you - it’s messed up they won’t give you a copy, and I find it disturbing too. It’s just very weird. I would say you don’t give to your consent to your image, and your children’s image, to be stored and shared. Contact ICO for advice. This sort of thing rips families apart

This sort of thing rips families apart, so why not make things better by resorting your family member to a regulatory body?

Marj Proops you ain’t.

I havent shared many of my wedding pics with anyone because i hate the way i look on them - could be something like that? Though did send all pics of other people onto them or had them framed as presents (pics of grankids for grandparents etc)

It's very wierd in this day and age to say no to sharing photos, especially when it involves capturing memories of family and friends. It usually won't have a cost these days! It's not like you are asking for a random shot of people you didn't know or the whole album or a couple's shot. I would find it upsetting also. Were people allowed to take their own photos at the event?

YADNBU. I understand why you'd want that photo, and your reaction seems pretty proportionate to the oddball behavior of your cousin. What's the point of shelling out for a professional photographer if you won't let your own family have a picture they're in?! Totally mean and just plain weird - to the extent I do wonder if as PPs suggest, they are keeping the pic back to be given out by them as presents...

Ihrtwt. Ive read the first couple of pages.

Under copyright law it is illegal to copy and share original material without the owners (originator) explicit approval. I'm guessing your rellies have signed a contract accordingly.

UABVVUR

I went to my cousins wedding and bought 4 photos and my parents and brother bought some too. Professional photo's of your family all dressed up - lovely keepsake. Photographer had a website, we got the password off my cousin - she loved that we'd had such a fab day and wanted to buy some. Totally understand why you want some.

This seems increasingly odd. After my daughters wedding, she was given a link to all the photos (pus a USB). She was able to share the link with anyone she chose, and we can download any that we want, and have them printed ourselves (anywhere we like).

If we have them printed by the photographer, it would be really expensive (though the quality of the ones they did for my daughter was amazing) - so maybe the couple thought you were asking them to provide you with an expensive print, rather than a link to download from?

Your cousin sounds like a tit. I'd want a copy too. Some people.