Copy of wedding picture

[Nai89]

Hi All.
So I attended my first cousins wedding summer last year {2019}. I'd recently just had a baby too but attended as it was the first wedding where a bride was joining the family.

Anyway so in the last month I asked for a copy of a wedding picture taken professionally (Grooms maternal side). I thought it was great to have an image of my nan, my own uncles, aunts, 1st cousins etc. Everyone in this photo is a close relative plus the fact me, my husband and 3 children are in this photo.

To my dismay I was point blank refused. I was told they're 'private pictures' and that I should respect the grooms wishes (my first cousin). AIBU for asking for a copy? I find it deeply disturbing that no one else in the picture is objecting to me to having a copy but the fact my children are in this image and they won't share it with me.

My eldest son is 7, daughter 5 and newborn. There are other children in this photo too. I am actually livid how they can refuse this, I find it disturbing to the point im not sleeping today. Why won't a 23 Yr old newly married man share a professional group photo of his maternal side??

It's weird but you have to let it go.

When I was growing up I remember going to relatives' houses to look through the wedding album and people would order copies of some of the photos. I guess this doesn't happen in these days of smart phones.

Are there any other children in the picture other than your own?
I agree that your cousin's reaction is a bit odd. DH and I got married way before digital photography, and we just had as many copies of photos made as people wanted.

If these pictures are so "private" why did they even bother having any photos taken in the first place?

Having said that, I wouldn't lose sleep over this.

Having a photo of the whole family together is a lovely thing .
It is unfortunate your cousin does not wish to share .
I can understand why you are upset about that .
Hopefully there will be another occasion soon when everyone is there .

I agree with a PP - maybe the bride or groom thought they looked terrible in the photos, so they don't want to share them.

Well I think he’s being weird. Is he kind of an arsehole?

I can’t think of anyone I know who would say no to this.

Sorry about that, OP. But yeah, I’d let it go, like you said you’re going to, because there’s no point arguing over it.

I would be pissed off with this too.

My first reaction is one of them hates the photos. That's why they've not printed them off either.

I would offer to pay however much you are willing to for it and explain your full reasons why. Probably by email. Or in person who the one of them you are closest too.

I think they're weird.

Perhaps he is a wanted man? Check MI5 and FBI wanted pages

The family group shots from our wedding are terrible, theres big gaps in between people, everyone looks awkward and I'm really not happy with them. If anyone asked for a copy I'd decline too.

He doesn’t have to supply you with pictures. It’s just how the cookie crumbles I’m afraid, he and his wife own the prints and it’s up to him and his wife’s go they supply copies to.

I understand why you have had trouble sleeping OP. It’s not about photos, more broadly speaking you’re flummoxed by the refusal and feel hurt. That’s what I’m getting from it.

We just recently had a family wedding, all photos were available digitally. Whilst they weren’t thrown around with abandon or out on social media, there was lots of “oh, that’s a nice one of Steve and Joan, let’s send them that one” type talk. We were very pleased with our pictures, a rare moment of us all together and in a beautiful light, and wearing lovely clothes. We also got ones of my children with elderly family members, just lovely sweet memories of times that won’t come around again. I think your cousin is being really quite precious and unreasonable.

You weren't unreasonable to ask, and the flat refusal with no real explanation for it is pretty weird. But you are massively over-reacting.

Oh, well. There’s no accounting for some people. They’ll be a reason, but you can’t force them, so you just have to accept it.

How strange, is the cousin generally a tool or is this new?

I'm not surprised you're upset, weird, bridezilla behaviour after the event. Perhaps they'll be the type who don't let anyone see their newborn for 3 months.

Next time you go round to them, take a photo of their photo with your phone and get it printed. And if they're upset tell them they'll have to accept it.

I totally understand why you would want a picture of the generations of your family. My parents are divorced and I have I idea what happened to their wedding album. I would love to see it again to see what my great grandparents, grandparents, aunts and uncles looked like at that age.

I can't see the problem with providing you with a copy. I hope someone else may have taken a photo who will be happy to let you have a copy.

Some things (and some people's behaviour) are totally inexplicable.

giveherhellfromus is obviously one of the miserable posters I referred to. No need for it. Cheer up love :)

I understand if the photographer won't sell you a photo, but not if it's your cousin who's refusing. Very weird. I wouldn't expect to be given a photo, as someone has to pay for them. But if you've offered to pay for a copy and your cousin has refused, that's strange behaviour.

Yanbu to ask for it and I think it's a bit weird that they won't just let you have a copy. But they've said no so that's that, yabu for reacting this way to it.

Next time you go round to them, take a photo of their photo with your phone and get it printed. And if they're upset tell them they'll have to accept it.

What a way to cause a rift

@MelroseHigginbottom I'm not miserable for acknowledging that not everyone shares the same opinion.

I'm one of the only people who think she's weird for even wanting the photo but I'm not insulting everyone else for thinking differently to me. Grow up a little bit, love.

Why is the OP weird for wanting a group photo of her family?

Are the bride and groom in this photo?

YABU. You don’t have a right to the photograph just because you and your children are in it.

You don’t have a right to any photograph you and your children are in if you didn’t take it.

They’ve said no, weird, but that’s the end of it. It’s not “disturbing” and I’m quite concerned if you’re livid and losing sleep over it.

It's so mean of him, no wonder you are upset. Can you get your mum to have a word with her sister/brother?

YANBU, they are being ridiculous. My sister said the best part of getting married was having photos she could give to people for birthdays and Christmas for the next year!