To expect a parent to pay for child's damage?!

[MissB83]

Context: I had a friend and her 2 year old for a play date this afternoon. Before either of us could stop her, her 2 year old grabbed my letter flap (inside) and forced it up, which snapped an internal mechanism so it no longer lies flush to the door my friend tried to explain it away that she fiddles with the door and didn't immediately realise that her child had broken it. However the kicker is that the door is brand new; it was replaced about a month ago at a cost of nearly £900! It looks wrong now but worse is letting in a significant draught into an already cold house.

I think the part can probably be replaced as it screws on and on but obviously this will be at a cost. My friend has been back to thank me for the play date but not mentioned the door. I am flat broke so cannot pay for the repair anyway but I don't feel I should have to, but I want to go in on the right foot before annoying my friend. AIBU to expect her to pay?

I don't understand why some people feel that any damage done by a small child should be automatically "forgiven"-- expected, almost, as an inevitability. If a visiting (invited) dog does damage, does the same rule apply? At what age does this automatic forgiveness for child-caused damage expire?

Of course the parent should pay to repair things his/her child has broken!

But yes, I would find out how much it will cost to repair so you can tell her exactly how much she owes you. If it's covered by warranty, that's great, but I doubt the warranty will cover damage caused by excessive force.

If my child broke something I’d pay for it somehow. Since your door is only a month old have you tried contacting the company you got it from? They might fix it free, but I’m no way condoning your friend not paying I’m just offering an easy solution.

My DS was involved in a wall lamp being broken at another mums in my ante natal group and although def a group effort to break it I did replace it because he was mucking about and involved and although it was accidental the hostess should not have been left with a broken light. I do feel like others should have stepped up... first see if warranty covers, then what it takes to fix and decide how you go forward weighing up options

Agree it must have a weak mechanism if a 2 year old can break it. I’d just call up and say it’s a month old, broken and take it from there....

A new internal letterbox flap should cost less han £20 to replace and anyone can do it!

However, your friend should definitley have offered to pay for it.

I'd just contact the door company and tell them a part of your new door broke when a child, only age 2, lifted it. Presumably it's under guarantee and they'll send you a new one?

In Germany people have third party insurance for exactly this kind of thing. Why isn't it a thing in the UK?

LOL at the idea that someone needs a DH to fit a letterbox flap though 😆

Oh that sounds brilliant Brefugee...I could just put anything that's on its way out in arms reach of visiting toddlers.

I don't understand how this could cost more than £20 to fix. She should have offered to track down the part and get it sorted for you, but claiming on insurance? That's nuts.

Cheeky AF not to even offer to pay, or expect the homeowner to absorb the cost of your not watching your kid.

I think it depends.

In your case, I think your friend should pay, but that doesn't apply to all situations.

I once took my five year old dd to a birthday party being held at a house, where one of the children in attendance accidentally smashed a hugely expensive Chinese vase in the room where party games were being played.

The mother of the birthday child - whose house it was - tried to insist that the parents of the child who had broken the vase pay for the damage. But the child's parents refused, on the basis that they should have moved it out of the way, to somewhere safe, before inviting twenty 5 year olds round. And on balance, I think they were right.

A letter flap costs about £10 on Amazon. Is this worth falling out over?

I replaced a letterbox on a upvc door myself for £22. Obviously yours might be more but as its new you could look on line at the info about replacing the letterbox. I second that that a 2 year old shouldn't be strong enough to break a letterbox, though, they should be sturdy. Can't you complain to the manufacturer? Hopefully they might send you a new letterbox.

Can you post a picture of the broken letter flat. Someone might be able to tell you if Its an easy fix.

Also, if a two year old was strong enough to break it, the letterbox clearly wasn't very good quality in the first place.

ChopOrNot apologies to the OP for derailing slightly, but an enquiry about cover should not impact your premium. If it did then log a complaint and ask for this to be reviewed - if the firm don't, then go to the Financial Ombudsman Service (free for you to use). Insurer's are not allowed to penalise you for enquiring about cover if you haven't claimed and if that item wasn't covered under the policy in the first place! Feel free to PM me if you want any help.

For future reference, storm damage to fences, gates and hedges is a pretty standard exclusion on policies but some of the better household insurers do cover it - try Hiscox or M&S if this type of cover is important to you (N.B cost and excess not always cheap though!).

YANBU
I live in Germany and a parent would be expected to use their own insurance to pay for damage their child does

The social norm here is that parents take responsibility
and that everyone, parents or not, has 3rd party insurance for accidental damage, breakages, water damage etc

Years ago, a small child scraped something along my parked car and caused several hundred euros damage
I came back to a card with parents' name & address to contact and their insurance dealt with it all, no problem.

Insurer's should not have an apostrophe in it! Grammar pedants stand down

" the child's parents refused, on the basis that they should have moved it out of the way, to somewhere safe, before inviting twenty 5 year olds round. And on balance, I think they were right"

It is NOT expected in Germany
Parents are regarded as being responsible for what their own children do

Does your friend actually realise it was broken? If not then that would explain why she hasn’t mentioned it and offered to pay.

Check out the warranty first then if that doesn’t work pop to b&q or screw fix and get a new one.

I don't be getting the fitters back as the flap should not have broken in this situation.

Definately sounds like the letterbox is faulty. Mine is over 20 years old and was a basic model for the time. It regularly gets messed about with by DS2 (2 1/2). I would also be reluctant to pay if I was the mum, a letterbox should be able to withstand a 2 year old.

1. tell the fitter it has broken under minimal force if use, and see if it can be fitted under warranty. If so, leave it.

2. if it can’t be fixed under warranty but is a cheap repair, decide how flat broke you are (e.g. could you swallow £20 for a quiet life). If not, let your friend know the cost of the repair and ask if she would be so kind as to cover it, as her DD forced the flap.

It’s a balance between affordability and avoiding the risk of the pain of your friend being ungracious, and falling out 😬