To expect a parent to pay for child's damage?!

[MissB83]

Context: I had a friend and her 2 year old for a play date this afternoon. Before either of us could stop her, her 2 year old grabbed my letter flap (inside) and forced it up, which snapped an internal mechanism so it no longer lies flush to the door my friend tried to explain it away that she fiddles with the door and didn't immediately realise that her child had broken it. However the kicker is that the door is brand new; it was replaced about a month ago at a cost of nearly £900! It looks wrong now but worse is letting in a significant draught into an already cold house.

I think the part can probably be replaced as it screws on and on but obviously this will be at a cost. My friend has been back to thank me for the play date but not mentioned the door. I am flat broke so cannot pay for the repair anyway but I don't feel I should have to, but I want to go in on the right foot before annoying my friend. AIBU to expect her to pay?

I agree with pp, it shouldn't have broken so easily. Surely it should be under warranty.

Find out the cost to repair or replace first. Then what your insurance excess will be, might increase your premium too, and decide what to do from there.
But I would expect to pay for damage that my child had caused.

@drivingtofrance yes my friend was standing right by the door and saw her do it she just didn't realise she had broken it.

She should of course have offered to pay.

I would pay if asked but it doesn't sound like it was immediately obvious it needed more than moving a spring with a screwdriver so I think you'll have to tell her.

duck tape a bit of cardboard over the flap, which will help with the draught. invite them over again soon. 2 yo will obviously fiddle with it, that will give you an opportunity to say something like "oh yes do you like my letter flap. I couldn't afford to get it fixed yet but the cardboard keeps the draughts out at least." (tinkly laugh)

if she has any sense of shame she will immediately ask how much she can contribute.

Next time suggest her house.

I would offer to pay, if it was my child but if she hasnt, then as a host it is a cost you need to assume. I mean, you invited a 2year old so you know that damage is possible. My sons have broken things at that age, even though I was vigilant and warned the host before. I always offered to pay but this offer was never accepted.
Watch a video on Youtube and you may be able to fix it yourself.

The cost of the door is irrelevant, you just need to find out the cost of the repair which could be £10 or less if it's just replacing a screw.

She might be waiting for you to tell her the cost of the repair and there isn't any point in getting all pissed of faith her about it until you know how much it is, you've asked her to pay and she's said no.

It must be a pretty shoddy standard of letterbox to be broken so easily.

I would claim under warranty.

Id get a quote and then approach her. Depending on the amount I would maybe just asking her to "help" pay for it.

If it’s a brand new door and a 2 year old has the force to break it then I’d say it’s probably not fit for purpose. I’d call the manufacturer or fitter.

Aside from that she should offer to pay. But it’s one I’d probably suck up, I’d hope a part to fix is very cheap.

Can you contact the company who supplied the door and tell them it's broken and see if it can be repaired under warranty?

If not, get a quote to get it fixed and let your friend know.

Hopefully she'll be decent and cough up.

If a £900 door had been installed in my home only weeks earlier and the letterbox broke with only the fiddling of a toddler, I'd be speaking to the company about the quality of their product.

Just phone the people who fitted the door and find out how much a replacement part is. If it’s too expensive see how much a replacement is in B & Q that DH can fit before causing a fallout.

@Ouchaheadinmybehind no DH here sadly!

If a £900 door had been installed in my home only weeks earlier and the letterbox broke with only the fiddling of a toddler, I'd be speaking to the company about the quality of their product.

My thoughts exactly.

I hadn't actually considered it should be covered under warranty which of course it does have (10 years!) so I'll push that angle with the fitter first.

MyDcAreMarvel decent people take responsibility for their accidents. If you crashed your car into someone 'by accident', do you feel you shouldn't have to pay?

A door should be able to withstand a 2 year old. I'd definitely go after the warranty.

It really shouldn't have broken from what you have described.
I lift my one up all the way when taking out a parcel so it doesn't press on my fingers. It might have been installed faulty if it's new.

I wouldn't claim on the insurance. Not a high value repair and you'd pay over and above in future renewals. Also don't think friend will pay and will put it down to 'that's just what kids do'. Some people aren't as concerned about their stuff- drives me insane. But, it is what it is. See if there are any replacement parts or cheap ways of fixing. Sorry- super annoying!

Be wary of phoning your insurance. Even just asking if it would be covered/what the excess is could have you marked down as "making a claim" - even if no money changes hands. This happened to me - put my insurance up the next year because I had called in to ask about some damaged fencing (storm). Fencing wasn't covered but a "claim" enquiry was put on my record just because I had asked.

You don't need dh to fix it ffs.

It's a new door, complain about the faulty flap. Sorted.

If you push it with your friend then she might cough up but will probably give you a swerve from then on. But principles are sometimes worth it?