To expect a parent to pay for child's damage?!

[MissB83]

Context: I had a friend and her 2 year old for a play date this afternoon. Before either of us could stop her, her 2 year old grabbed my letter flap (inside) and forced it up, which snapped an internal mechanism so it no longer lies flush to the door my friend tried to explain it away that she fiddles with the door and didn't immediately realise that her child had broken it. However the kicker is that the door is brand new; it was replaced about a month ago at a cost of nearly £900! It looks wrong now but worse is letting in a significant draught into an already cold house.

I think the part can probably be replaced as it screws on and on but obviously this will be at a cost. My friend has been back to thank me for the play date but not mentioned the door. I am flat broke so cannot pay for the repair anyway but I don't feel I should have to, but I want to go in on the right foot before annoying my friend. AIBU to expect her to pay?

[Gilld69]

if i invited someone into my house who had a young child and they broke something i personally wouldnt expect them to pay, ok it would be nice to be offered but 2 year olds are not to be held responsible their actions or their parents, if she stood and watched her do it and didnt try and prevent it then that maybe a different matter, but id leave it at that not worth losing a friendship over

[Mar11]

If the door is only a month old and a 2 year old child was able to break it, you should contact who sold it to you and have them fix it for free. There must be some kind of warranty? The quality is obviously not there for a £900 door. It seems that anyone could have broken it given the chance, the kid just got unlucky to have been the one to touch it. So no, I wouldn't charge the mum, I would be on the phone to the company who sold it.

[floatygoat]

You had a 2 year old round. They break stuff sometimes. Being said though, must be a shoddy letterbox and YABU to spend £900 on a door in any case, let alone when you're skint to the point you can't pay for unexpected repairs etc. If you were my friend I'd think you were being tight/anal and wouldn't want to visit with my toddler again.

[CoralAmy]

Get a quote for the repair, if expensive approach them with an offer to go half..she should see you as being very reasonable and not unfair...and if she's a friend worth bothering about...will refuse your offer and insist on paying ot all,, ..

[BetBetteBetty]

Why is MN full of people on a time delay.

[BBOA]

I was interested to hear views on this.
My DD is in secondary school and she said a child had deliberately smashed another person's phone. Older I know than OP's child but I would have expected a replacement phone if I was the parent. The visitor should have offered to pay to fix it.

[AmelieTaylor]

Fucking hell. Read the thread people.

[Devora13]

Could you just say 'I've been looking at getting the flap fixed, it will cost £x, I take it it's okay if I send you the bill?'

[AdobeWanKenobi]

YABU to spend £900 on a door in any case, let alone when you're skint to the point you can't pay for unexpected repairs etc

RTFT
It's right up there in OP's third post which you clearly couldn't be arsed to read.

the money for the door was a family gift

[Petrachat]

Its a door, at 900£ it should be able to withstand the letterbox being opened albeit by a burly 2 year old, I would complain to the door supplier/manufacturer, asking for a replacement flap!

[BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs]

Why is MN full of people on a time delay.

MNetters experiencing extreme lag?

[Insanelysilver]

I can’t help thinking that a £900 door shouldn’t have such a flimsy letter box flap that a 2 year old can break it. Unless the kid has superpower strength I think it should withstand a kid fiddling with it surely? I reckon a large package shoved through the door wouid also break it in this case.

I’d contact the suppliers and say it’s broken.

[HairyToity]

I had a friends daughter break a pane of glass on coffee table. It cost about £35 to replace, plus time of sorting it. Friend immediately offered to pay, but I didn't accept it, just one of those things. However I was not flat broke at the time.

I didn't want our friendship damaged/ awkward conversation over a pane of glass, so sorted it out.

[AdobeWanKenobi]

A letterbox is door furniture and has no bearing on the integrity of a door.
Most letterbox flaps are pretty flimsy and on a £900 door I wouldn't expect anything more than that.
I replaced my entire letterbox for a chrome one a few weeks ago. It cost £18 from Amazon and took 15 minutes to fit. It was identical to the one fitted in every way barring colour and the door cost was over £2k.

Any metal object forced in a direction it's not supposed to go will break but either way, for those who are seemingly not bothering to RTFT this issue was solved on Monday.

[nowayhose]

I'm of the opinion you should contact whoever sold you the door, as I would see this as a defective part on a very expensive door.
I wouldn't expect it to break so easily and I'd expect it to be fixed free of charge as it's not fit for purpose. To have jumped at blaming the poor child for doing something as simple as opening the letterbox seems petty and childish. If the child has been doing the same thing at their own house (and probably at other relations/ friends houses) without breaking the letterbox, shows how flimsy your new letterbox is.

As far as fixing, you would only need the same size letterbox fitted, which would take a joiner 10 mins and you could buy the letterbox yourself ( and I wouldn't want to lose a friend over it !) , but as I said, personally I think your letterbox was faulty to begin with, so I'd be going that route.

[SunshineAngel]

@MyDcAreMarvel What, so because she could afford the door, she should pay for someone else's kid's damage? Bollocks. We've just spent £3,000 on a new kitchen, but it took us years to save up for it. Don't assume you know everyone's situation from one piece of information.

OP: If my child had broken something, I would be insisting on replacing it, even if the other mum said it was okay.

[SunshineAngel]

Just seen this has been resolved. For all those yelled "RTFT" it's 13 pages long. So, no. Glad you've nothing better to do than read over 300 messages about one topic though. Doesn't even matter to you if someone else replies to the thread.

[poppy336]

if you have only had the door for a short time go back to where you
got it from.Under consumer laws,a purchase should be up to the job it was bought for.A two year shouldn’t have been able to damage it if it was correctly made and fitted.
Be firm with who ever you got the door from it was very expensive and should never have broken from a two year messing with it.😃

[poppy336]

Have to say I didn’t read all the comments and therefore was unaware
the problem was fixed.

[Jojo2wyatr]

I imagine if you get in contact with the door/flap company they will gladly send a replacement part for free. It shouldn't have broken that easily....the flap is supposed to last for years and years, especially on a £900 doorn

[zoobincan]

Image of OP phoning door company to request they replace her flaps

[Bringonspring]

I agree you should contact the door company, I think you are actually being pretty rubbish on your friend. I wouldn’t expect someone to pay for it with a 2 year old.

Thank heavens your letter box didn’t hurt the 2 year old or else we would have a post from your friend about suing you

[marinabrian]

Letterplates are very cheap to buy, require few tools to fit and will be better than souring a friendship.
I used to work for a company that manufactured doors, and bought these in by the thousand, however measure the size of the letterplate, and choose a new one from somewhere like screwfix that matches the one fitted.

for example www.screwfix.com/p/stormguard-brush-letter-plate-chrome-292-x-75mm/4704V?kpid=4704V&ds_kid=92700048793315984&ds_rl=1244072&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIu8uYuIiJ5wIVg7HtCh06BAvtEAQYASABEgIlwvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Hope this helps

Brian

[TheKorateer1988]

Any chance your house insurance would cover the cost? It obviously depends on the size of your excess as to whether or not it's worth asking. Another way is to approach the company, explain the circumstances behind the damage. They may provide the part free of charge and, if it does look straight forward to fix, perhaps a relative well skilled in DIY could fix it for you. I must agree too, your friend should have asked how much it would cost to repair. If not able to pay the full cost, she should at least offer a good contribution towards it. Good Luck - I hope this can be sorted amicably.

[Devora13]

I quickly discovered you don't need to read the full thread if it's long, you can just page through and read the OP's updates. But don't let me put ideas in anyone's head.