To expect a parent to pay for child's damage?!

[MissB83]

Context: I had a friend and her 2 year old for a play date this afternoon. Before either of us could stop her, her 2 year old grabbed my letter flap (inside) and forced it up, which snapped an internal mechanism so it no longer lies flush to the door my friend tried to explain it away that she fiddles with the door and didn't immediately realise that her child had broken it. However the kicker is that the door is brand new; it was replaced about a month ago at a cost of nearly £900! It looks wrong now but worse is letting in a significant draught into an already cold house.

I think the part can probably be replaced as it screws on and on but obviously this will be at a cost. My friend has been back to thank me for the play date but not mentioned the door. I am flat broke so cannot pay for the repair anyway but I don't feel I should have to, but I want to go in on the right foot before annoying my friend. AIBU to expect her to pay?

Claiming on insurance😄is it worth it? What is the extent of the damage?

I dont think I would expect someone to pay, but I wouldnt be inviting them around again until the little girl was older or unless either of us were being hawkeye. However, I think if it was one of my friends they would have offered and been mortified.

Can you claim on insurance.

Sounds like you have a nice friend and a crap letterbox not fit for purpose

Measure letterbox, go to wickes/b&q .armed with screwdriver replace. Job's a gud un

I think it's terrible that she didn't even offer. I don't like that. Almost as though it's ok to break other peoples things.
If your child broke something at their house I'm sure you'd offer to pay.

This thread is fast going the way of 'cancel the cheque'

Glad you've got it sorted Op.

FWIW, in my mind asking her WNBU. It was broken because she wasn't supervising her child properly. It wasn't an 'accident' in the sense of a bump or knocking over a precariously balanced glass, although it was obviously unintentional. I can quite imagine a 2yo getting excited and flapping it around quite hard so I don't think it's particularly strange that it broke when pushed the wrong way - they aren't designed to withstand force. You shouldn't be out of pocket for it.

Hopefully next time will be less eventful!

I don’t think your friend should pay.
A letter box that breaks so easily after such a short time is clearly faulty
Get in touch with the company and complain

I don't have DCs but have had plenty of things broken by visiting children; I don't expect them to pay because I have taken the risk by inviting my friends who have children.

If it’s too expensive see how much a replacement is in B & Q that DH can fit before causing a fallout.

I’m just here for the reactions to this. Pass the fucking wine.

I’m just here for the reactions to this. Pass the fucking wine

I would have offered, I think, as the guest, BUT
a) I would have been very surprised that it had been broken and questioned the quality if a 2 year old could break a part designed for daily movement.
b) would have been again surprised if said offer had been expected.

If I was the host I would not have asked for recompense, regardless of how skint I was. These things happen. It's not like it was done with intent.

Ha yes good old DH.

OP I’m so bloody pleased to hear your update! Well done! I’ve been walked over all my life. I would never have been able to ask and I would have been bitter for years. I am very bitter about lots of similar things that have happened to me. I’m proud of you!

@MissB83 well done OP. was she apologetic at all or say why she didnt offer etc?

Tell the door company that the letter box flap broke, claim it to b faulty n they might come out n fix it.
For everyone else who can't understand a £900 door, it's a new tougher 1 piece door, not ur average upvc. I had 1 put in a couple of years ago but I saved b4 u all start another judgement thread.

Can’t decide whether to laugh or cry at the husband advice. Cry, I think.

is there a possibility it is covered under the warranty of the door if it has broken that easily? Certainly worth asking as it may save a friendship as well as the money. Bits fell off my door and the company were quite happy to come back and sort it, more than once.

Door is probably under warranty. Say it broke when post was put through. Job done

Bloody hell.

Have u no one in your family that is technically manually minded. It could just be a breached spring which means off the Internet the replacement part could be a couple of quid and it can be replaced easily with you googling how to off Wikipedia or u tube it is amazing how cheap and easy things are to fix luckily for me I have a can do husband and father and even mother for that matter.

Totally different point but I don’t think you can judge the op for getting a new door, she has said it was a gift but even if it wasn’t it’s her choice to use her money for a new door and to not expect to have to allow for a toddler breaking it.

I also wonder why the ops friend let her DD fiddle with the door as it could also have injured her DD if it was one of those spring shut ones. In that scenario I wonder if she would expect compensation from the Op or just say “it’s one of those things, accidents happen”

I think she should pay for. A replacement letter box. It’s what good friends do.

**I think it's terrible that she didn't even offer. I don't like that.

If your child broke something at their house I'm sure you'd offer to pay.**

^This. The fact she didn’t even offer to pay is cheeky.

What is it with these parents? If my dc had broken something even if it was accidental I'd offer to pay even if it was in installments

I genuinely cannot understand that logic. So my son and I go short on money out of politeness?

It is Quid pro quo

If you expect visitors to pay for breakages, you need to expect to be invoiced for any breakages that your child can be held responsible for, should your child have any playdates over the next however many years (it will probably get worse when they are teens)

I have several viewpoints here, in the first place, where were you and your friend when the accident happened? No 2 yr old should be unsupervised, so perhaps it's a shared responsibility between both you and child's Mum, as both of you were placing this child at risk of harm. In addition, it beggars belief that a 2yr old was able to force a letterbox flap to the extent that it is broken, which suggests an inherent fault with the flap. But IF this child was strong enough to break the flap, and IF it could only have been this one child that damaged the door, (eg no other children in the House, no parcels, books etc posted through recently), I would be first talking to the fitters as the door will still be under warranty and it's reasonable to assume it is meant to be stronger than a toddler, and IF they refuse to replace the flap, I would get your partner, Dad, Mum or whomever to sit and help you to repair the problem. It probably just needs bending back / replacing a screw or something.

Should the toddlers mum pay? No, it's your house, you have to shoulder some responsibility of care whilst guests are in your house. I imagine the other lady is mortified, she may be expecting you to raise the cost of repair, but either way, my question would remain, how did a toddler cause such damage on a new letterbox if supervised?

Glad you have it sorted OP and friendship intact. For what it's worth, I would definitely have offered to pay. Out of curiosity I just checked my own letter box and the inside flap actually lifts up 180° but guessing from other replies this is not standard for most letterboxes?