AIBU pregnancy with an unsuitable man ALL over this site

[SiriusBlack94]

It amazes me that EVERY day there are multiple posts with...

My DH is so lazy —— I’m 30 weeks pregnant
My DH is a narcissist how can I leave him —- I have a baby on the way
I don’t love my DH anymore - but I’m 28 weeks pregnant
DH drinking all the time/doing drugs/ controlling/ doesn’t help around the house —- but I’m pregnant.

Like seriously. Why are women so casual about getting pregnant with men that aren’t suited to them or who they aren’t in a loving relationship with. I know in some cases a man can turn abusive during pregnancy but in the majority of cases it’s things like ‘my DH drinks 4 times a week’ or ‘my DH never helps around the house’ which you would’ve KNOWN but still got pregnant.

I just don’t understand it and they are then tying themselves with often multiple children to these men.

Not all men, my husband’s lovely 😊 and my dad but you see so many awful men that do not look after their children. 90% of single parents are women. Men even claiming UC even after they have split and leaving Mum and children with nothing to live on 😞 All men should pay towards their children no exceptions. Why women have more than 2 children is beyond me. As a woman you are financially vulnerable as UC have a cap on 2 children now.

Yes men arent challenging other men on male fora.

Yes men arent challenging other men on male fora.
How likely is it that the men who pull their weight, believe in equitable relationships, are active fathers who respect women would be members of male incel type forums?

When I look at my friendship groups and DH's the norm is for men to do housework, cook, clean and they don't get a hold star for it because the men view equal division of home tasks as the norm.

I agree men should challenge men, just wonder how many of the decent men would be frequenting some of those forums.

suspect that men on here are most likely to be the incel types looking for inside information on how to out manoeuvre women🙄

But there are sexist hateful comments that go unchallenged on more general boards all the time. I was banned from a local sub board for my area, mixed posters. Sex age race wealth education... v v mixed. But none of the male posters ever risked telling one of the sexist comments that their comments were misogynist. Never saw it. What i did see was women who tried to point out the bias in the male moderation banned temporarily or shunned or mocked

“ I disagree, Hercules. All men don't get bashed on Mumsnet”

They do, on a very, very regular basis. Pejorative generalisations regarding character are virtue made here tens and possibly hundreds of times daily, bases only on the protected characteristics of sex.

It is appalling and getting worse.

The answer when this behaviour is challenges if “oh poor menz” or “what about the incel sites”.

I don’t really have an issue with it. I believe in free speech. However, it’s worth holding up a mirror to people when they do this and reminding other readers that those views being expresses are skewed, bigoted and not legitimate.