To want a fourth child

[Tumti2]

I have just had a baby a week ago!

Just not sure I’m ready to say never again .

OH definately doesn’t want a fourth .

AIBU to think I could talk him round and go for it !

Have you ever done the same and had more babies than your OH wanted initially ?

Or is this a passing phase .

I do have everything I wanted from the babies I have had eg both sexes etc .

Initially only wanted at least two maybe three .

We had four. My decision - OH probably would have stopped at one. Took three attempts to get DC four. We wouldn't be without any of them. four I a good number.

This doesn't feel like a decision you need to make a week post-partum?! Huge congratulations but save the big life choices for when the milk in your fridge is younger than your youngest child!

I could not have 3 children the odd number would drive me mad it has to be 2 or 4 lol

Sorry, but the parent who doesn't want another trumps the one who does. Besides, you already have three. How sure are you that you won't feel done at four?

Yabu. Think of your carbon footprint and the reduced attention for the children you have.

It’s not fair to try and persuade someone who definitely doesn’t want a child that they should have one.

Don’t do it. Four is too many for the planet.

OP you'll be told no by most people on here because everyone's an eco warrior when it comes to having x number children apparently.

See how things go. You'd both need to agree, though. X

Agree with @Oysterbabe completely

After I had my youngest I was fairly sure I didn't want anymore - but not sure enough to say never - that seemed like a massive step

18 months later I had to have surgery to retrieve my coil (long story but it perforated through my uterus and ended up in my abdomen near my spine) - they offered to sterilize while they did the op - I was horrified at the idea of saying never

A year or so later he had a vasectomy because we were ready to say never - the night before I still had a little 'maybe you shouldn't - what if?' moment - he had it done and it feels right now

what I think I'm trying to say is immediately after having a baby isn't the right time to say never - and there is a huge gap between saying never and talking him into another child

More children because you don't like an odd number, and then laugh out loud about it.
Really?

Everytime I had a child i wanted another immediately I changed my mind after a few months

Op in the kindest way why are you thinking about this when your baby is a week old? Shouldn't you be focusing your attention and enjoyment on the baby rather than thinking about the next?? Sorry but seems really odd.

Give it at least a year to see how you feel. I am always extremely broody after giving birth. I have a degree in Environmental Biology so take the environment a lot more seriously and less faddy for my entire life. You can have four kids and a better carbon footprint then most people with one kid who don’t try.

Knock yourself out OP. But right after, make sure you don’t get on a single thread caning people for getting a flight or driving a car OK?

OP you'll be told no by most people on here because everyone's an eco warrior when it comes to having x number children apparently.

Having lots of children is a want, not a need, and the more babies people have the bigger impact it will have on the planet's finite resources.

And this is why I dont listen to people telling me I'm killing the planet for flying or eating meat.

Not fair to expect your husband to have another child if he doesn’t want one. It’ll be the hormones, give it a few weeks of sleep deprivation.

If you split up or something happened to him could you cope? There was a thread on here a few days ago littered with women who wouldn't have went there had they known they would be alone, and couldn't understand their own thinking, now they were raising four alone.

Something to think about when you consider forcing it through

I’m the eldest of four. It’s not always great from a kid’s point of view.

yes, because of the planet and because i, as one of four, always felt short changed.

it's normal to want another baby a week after birth though. just remember what is to come.

AIBU to think I could talk him round

That's called coercion. YABU.

Why isn't the new baby enough for you?

I wanted three, have four. I’d love more but this is the limit of what we can afford in time and money.

Gosh that carbon footprint argument is tired.
We recycle, cycle, wear our clothes till they fall apart. We don’t fly, we don’t waste food, we have four children so we don’t waste anything.

My four may stay in this country and pay NI which will pay for you when the time comes. You’ll be fucked if there aren’t enough people to do that.

Lol
@ Isawthathaggis

I agree .

The carbon footprint thing aside , I’m just looking for people who genuinely have been in the situation , wanting to know if it’s normal to feel like this , and also what you did in the end whether you regret it .

Of course I wouldn’t force or coerce my OH to do anything he doesn’t want to do !

I suppose I’m thinking about this now because I’m in my late thirties and don’t feel like I have much time to have a fourth if I wanted to .

Of course it’s all hypothetical and maybe it’s just a post baby urge I’m having

I’m just looking for people who genuinely have been in the situation

There is a specific topic for “larger” families, if you only want people be on the same page as you.

Ybau, for your response and “dilemma”