Sharing a hotel room with a stranger

[nomorespaghetti]

I've signed up to do some volunteering for a large national charity. I need to attend a training weekend for it about 2 hours away from where I live. It will involve one overnight stay. The charity will pay for train travel and overnight accommodation, but they've asked that volunteers share a twin bed room with another volunteer to keep costs down. It doesn't specify that it'd be a person of the same sex (but I'd hope so!)

The thought of sharing a hotel room with a stranger makes me feel super anxious. I wouldn't mind doing it if it was someone I knew, a work colleague for example. And I've stayed in hostels before (many years ago in my youth!)

I've no issue with telling them that I'm not comfortable doing it. But I want to know if others would be ok with it in this situation. Friends in real life also said they'd not like to.

YANBU = I wouldn't want to do that
YABU = I would be happy to share a room with a stranger

I wouldn't do it. As it's a volunteer role for a charity I'd decide whether a) to contact them to say that I can only come if I'm in a room alone or b) whether I'd just book my own room and tell them not to bother. I never share a room, not even with my mum or sister. I don't sleep well and would be stressed and tense not being able to get up during the night and make a drink, or put a light on to read.

I had to do this a lot when in old career but with random work colleagues from within the building. Not too bad but still would've preferred my own space.

Just make sure you get clarification if they put same genders in same room or same sex. Big difference.

Thing is, it’s for a charity. I’d probably offer to pay the difference in the rooms but ask for a single. I didn’t mind sharing in my 20’s but now I’m mid 40’s I hate it!

I wouldn't mind but I was in the Army. I can sleep anywhere next to anyone, on anything!

I have found it's a great way to meet people. I've been away on courses at shared rooms and I've then ended up with a friend.

To mitigate your anxiety though, stay out the room as long as poss and literally use it as someone to lay your head.

I would offer to pay for a room myself so that I didn't have to share.

Somewhere*

No but for the main reason I snore very loudly and I wouldn’t want to subject some poor person to it.

i wouldn’t mind. I’m funny about lots to do with sleep and people staying over but this wouldn’t bother me.

Sorry I clicked the wrong button. Personally I’d just book my own room, I couldn’t bare all the niceties involved with sharing with a stranger

Bedroom sharing expectations is one of the biggest cultural changes in society in my opinion! In Moby Dick, they share not only a room but a bed with strangers!

I agree though - I would like the principle of saving money but hate sharing. I’d probably pay for my own room if I could.

Nope, wouldn't do this for the world - and wouldn't assume that same-sex means what you think it does either.

No way would I want to do this. I also work for a charity and if we are away we always get our own room albeit a basic one.

I've done this before on group holidays where they pair up single travellers to share rooms (same sex and similar age). It was fine. There was always an option on booking though to pay a supplement for single occupancy - would it be worth asking if that's possible?

If it's for charity they will want to save as much money as possible, so for that reason I think YABU. If you want a room to yourself you need to foot the bill, you can't expect the charity to pay for you.

No way...

No I've worked for charities.The charity is presumably getting good unpaid labour which is why they're investing in training. The cost of the training should include suitable accomodation.

They shouldn't put people in vulnerable positions like this, even if they are a charity.

If the OP couldn't afford a hotel room to herself then she might just have to say no to the whole thing and they lose that labour.

By all means, ask volunteers who know each other to pair up, but otherwise it's a potential safeguarding/legal nightmare.

I used to have to share rooms with colleagues on school trips. Even when they were people I liked I could never relax enough to actually sleep. Complete stranger - no way.

Thanks all for the responses. I did look at the cost of a single room in the hotel (it's a budget one), it's not super expensive, but it's 50 quid i don't really have. Good idea to offer to pay the difference.

I wish they'd let me know this before they started the recruitment process. This role will involve more traveling and potentially more overnight stays, so if this is going to be an issue I'd have to reconsider doing it. I offered to volunteer because it's a charity that has helped our family, so i definitely appreciate trying to keep costs down. But really just makes me feel so uncomfortable.

No chance. Would stay in a big dorm room with lots of strangers but not with one in a private room. I know that sounds weird but it makes sense in my head.

I agree, pretzel. Whilst I wouldnt be overjoyed with it, I'd much rather be in a dorm style room that a bedroom with just me and one stranger.

Not a chance. I'd offer to pay the difference.

I would offer to pay the difference.

I suggest you raise the issue, letting them know of your reservation. You might even find if there are odd numbers in the volunteers (50:50 chance of this ) so you might get allocated a room on your own that way by expressing a preference?

I'd love to know the thought process from all the voters who had said they'd be ok with the idea.
I wouldn't like it and it would put me off.

Obviouspretzel that makes perfect sense to me too. It's a safety in numbers thing.

OP I wouldn't like to share with a stranger. I've done it once for work and stayed out the room as long as possible.