Sharing a hotel room with a stranger

[nomorespaghetti]

I've signed up to do some volunteering for a large national charity. I need to attend a training weekend for it about 2 hours away from where I live. It will involve one overnight stay. The charity will pay for train travel and overnight accommodation, but they've asked that volunteers share a twin bed room with another volunteer to keep costs down. It doesn't specify that it'd be a person of the same sex (but I'd hope so!)

The thought of sharing a hotel room with a stranger makes me feel super anxious. I wouldn't mind doing it if it was someone I knew, a work colleague for example. And I've stayed in hostels before (many years ago in my youth!)

I've no issue with telling them that I'm not comfortable doing it. But I want to know if others would be ok with it in this situation. Friends in real life also said they'd not like to.

YANBU = I wouldn't want to do that
YABU = I would be happy to share a room with a stranger

I volunteer too. The paid members of staff wouldn't do it, why should volunteers. Just say you are not sharing thanks all the same and you want your own room. Or can you pay the difference then claim that back on expenses.
I bet the trainers and paid staff are not sharing rooms.

Wouldn’t bother me for 1 night.

Either you pay difference for your own room or just drive and not stay overnight

I think this used to be a bit more common on group trips/residential events before discount chain hotels came along.

The point is you should have a choice.

If it wouldn't bother you, fine.

If it would you shouldn't be out of pocket or feeling like you might need to leave.

Oh come on Display, this is not common practice at all. I can't imagine many people being OK for this. The fact the request is from a charity is irrelevant.

1 I haven't said whether it's common or not. What's that got to do with it? I was answering the question of why I'd be OK with it.

2 That's the people you know (and most of mumsnet apparently!). The people I know would be less bothered. Again, I'm just offering a different perspective.

3 I think being a charity is relevant. It's optional, not compulsory. Presumably I benefit from the free training (which has a cost to the charity), and it's a charity I support. You see many posts on here complaining about how charities spend their contributions and how they pay their staff etc etc. Training, travel and accommodation don't come out of thin air.

£50 won't kill them, charity or not. They are presumably expecting many unpaid hours from you if they are investing in training.

I wonder if the charity says 'We'll pay for accomodation' but says strangers need to share knowing 93% will say 'No thanks I'll pay for my own room' then the charity doesn't actually have to pay for accomodation but looks good for offering to pay.

I'd pay for my own room.

Total deal breaker for me
I’d pull out and find another way to help the charity if it meant a lot to me

I’m an introvert and an anxious person in general, but I honestly wouldn’t mind if for only one night!

If you meet the person first and they seem okay, go for it. If not, just make an excuse and go home.

Why do you need to stay overnight if it’s only 2-hours away? I used to commute that every day!

I've done this on yoga courses and its absolutely fine, despite me being an introvert.. and talking in my sleep!

The other person will need/want privacy too.

It's over two days WitchesGlove, and I can't take the car as DH and the DCs will need it. I don't think the charity would want to pay for two return rail journeys for the two days.

No way on earth I would do this. No way.
I’d pay for a room or if I couldn’t afford this I’d find some other voluntary work to do.

But I wouldn’t like to do it either, these days. Even putting aside people’s differing habits we carry around more valuables/credit cards and there is the added dimension of camera phones.

I stayed in a youth hostel once in my twenties and it was a real eye-opener to see young girls start to plaster on make-up before they had even got out of bed!

I'id hate this. Even when I go away with a friend we have our own rooms, if only to allow for some down-time on my own as well as the privacy and dignity reasons graphically outlined above! (so relevant).

southeastdweller, I've realised I've read it incorrectly! So that means I'm one of the 8%!!

I wouldn't do it, but in this situation I'd pay for my own accommodation.

I would not be able to sleep, paranoid about snoring, talking in my sleep or afraid I need the toilet in the night (which would lead to me being paranoid and going frequently). I am ex military so have shared for years but age has definitely changed my boundaries.

I volunteer too. The paid members of staff wouldn't do it, why should volunteers.

Some charities/people seem to think that because volunteers give their time for free, it has less or no value. Bollocks to that.

No way would I share a room with a stranger. As a man, I wouldn’t have much in the way of personal safety concerns, but it’s definitely a consideration. What about my valuables? And actually, I like and want my own space. If I’m spending a night away from home, I want and expect to be comfortable, and that includes not sharing a bedroom with a stranger.

I get that charities should be prudent with money, but not at the expense of their most valuable assets.

I wouldn't do it. I don't even share with friends let alone strangers. I would just pay my own room. You don't have to stay in the same place you can simply tell them you will make your own arrangements and see them at training. That way you could book a cheap B&B if it suits better.

I couldn't do it as I'm a restless sleeper and frequently sit up in bed, "stare" around the room blankly then drop back down again, which then wakes me up. It would terrify a stranger and pisses off people that know me quite well. I would offer to pay the difference as it's for a charity if you can.

Absolute nope from me. I am not good with new people in most scenarios, certainly not in such close/intimate proximity as sharing a room. I doubt I'd be able to sleep, to be honest. I'd offer to pay the single room supplement if possible.

On the plus side, this is a chance you to politely challenge them and measure the tone of their response. See if they're people you want to devote lots of time to in future, including frequent trips away.

I did this twice last year while crewing an event - twin beds, same sex - both times they have ended up becoming good friends. However we were there for five nights each time and if we'd wanted to move to single rooms that was an option at any point. I snore horribly so generally prefer to be on my own for the other person's sake

I think for work/charity I'd be less keen though.

This was common practice in the past when I worked for charities and gov organisation for paid employees. I would have no problems with it.