Sharing a hotel room with a stranger

[nomorespaghetti]

I've signed up to do some volunteering for a large national charity. I need to attend a training weekend for it about 2 hours away from where I live. It will involve one overnight stay. The charity will pay for train travel and overnight accommodation, but they've asked that volunteers share a twin bed room with another volunteer to keep costs down. It doesn't specify that it'd be a person of the same sex (but I'd hope so!)

The thought of sharing a hotel room with a stranger makes me feel super anxious. I wouldn't mind doing it if it was someone I knew, a work colleague for example. And I've stayed in hostels before (many years ago in my youth!)

I've no issue with telling them that I'm not comfortable doing it. But I want to know if others would be ok with it in this situation. Friends in real life also said they'd not like to.

YANBU = I wouldn't want to do that
YABU = I would be happy to share a room with a stranger

I have a sleep disorder and snore really loudly so would feel too self conscious to sleep. It’s a no from me.

I gave up volunteering because of a similar situation. I've severe IBS, PTSD and suffer with night terrors. I wrote and explained why I was stopping and got a letter back saying I should have said something before as they'd now need to find someone else. However, at no point did they say training would be needed elsewhere (and no it wasn't "one off" training) so why would I say about it?

I also am one of the 8% because I misread the op! Apologies!!

Oh, and also that they haven't specified it'll be same sex. I mean, I hope it'd be assumed! But I feel if you're asking people to share it ought to be explicitly stated!

I did share a room with a stranger last year, but that was kind of part of the experience, for something like this, no way, especially as you don't know if you'll be sharing with someone of the same sex.

I do all the time with my sport. About 50% of the time I know the person - we just change in the bathroom. Usually on a very similar schedule but sometimes my roomie will be one of the volunteers who have to start earlier.

I'd have no problem sharing with a woman stranger. We'd be mates by the end.

I don't believe this. I mean you might get on, but equally you might share with someone who is an absolute twat, why would you want to make friends with just anyone?

decline the volunteering opportunity and say why - if no one tells the charity that it puts them off of volunteering, they won't know and will persist in doing this.
If it's an overnight stay, they are benefiting from 48 hours of your time.

And you'd be really hacked off if you turned up and found that some people had solo accommodation simply because they'd asked.
Presumably they have some charity staff there - do they share?

Ours didn't specify either as they decided who was sharing when they got there and had just booked enough rooms for everyone to share - there had been no consideration for those who may require such arrangements at all (and this was after I'd dropped out explaining my reasons). It caused a lot of problems and others to drop out as well (as I heard from others after).

I'd love to know the thought process from all the voters who had said they'd be ok with the idea.
I did it once for a holiday and the cost of my own room would have been prohibitive at that time, so my thought process was that I would rather go on holiday and share a room than not go at all. My room mate was pleasant and the holiday circumstances meant that we didn’t need to spend a lot of time in the room so it was easy to work round each other. Could have been a lot worse as I can’t sleep with a snorer, but luckily she didn’t.
As I’ve got older though, I’ve become more picky (and have a bit more money) and I’m not even that keen on sharing with my friends now!

I sleep fart a lot so this would be a dealbreaker. I like the idea of paying for an upgrade though. The charity has made a good effort at maximising what they do with money so can’t really blame them but no I wouldn’t be able to sleep with a stranger.

I was thinking I wouldn’t mind at all, as I’ve often shared dormitories in hostels etc, no problem even if both sexes sharing. Then I read Obviouspretzel’s comment and realised I felt the same - big dorm fine, twin room sort of uncomfortable. And of course these days you can’t guarantee you’d be sharing with a woman.

i wouldnt do it but you are doing it for charity - they are even paying your train fare.
i imagine they are cutting costs.

i agree with above, a dorm sounds fine, a twin less fine.

it's not super expensive, but it's 50 quid i don't really have

Presumably the charity would like to not spend £50 pp when they can save costs, so more money can be spent on the needs of the charity.

The (mostly) women who work on the Chanel counters in department stores have to attend training in London. They are all booked twin rooms and end up sharing rooms with strangers who, although work for the same company, are all from different areas of the UK.

No, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. YANBU.

If your are not happy then don`t do it, there are lots of Charities needing volunteers.

Nope, the charity are going to have to budget for this or ask people to pay towards the room? This isn't professional. They'll be getting free labour out of you as it is, and outside of younger people who might be used to backpacking or hostels or whatever I don't see how they think that this is okay.

Nope.

Last time I shared a room with a colleague she turned up at 1am with a 'friend' she had met in the bar, would I mind if the friend also stayed over? Friend was male, I obviously did mind very much and was furious. Said no and asked to be put in a single room for the remainder of the stay. She was told to pack up and go home, and either commute for the course or book her own accommodation.

Have shared with colleagues I known and that's been fine.

why the comments about mass murder?!

I don't share a room with anyone OP, never mind a stranger. I think it's appalling that organisations ask people to do this. You should have been informed when you took on the role, even as a volunteer.

I do occasional voluntary work for an organisation which has paying attendees. The last time I went, 4 female volunteers were informed on the bus going to the venue that they had been allocated to share a room (continental doubles, so pretty up close and personal!) I noticed that no men were obligated to share a room .

I don't mind sharing bed but only with family members or friend. I need to know the person and I wouldn't share room with a stranger. I have stayed on hostels but it's different when you have 5-6 people sharing room than only two people.

I’d like that. It’s quite fun. I love hostels though. That’s all come to an end for me because I snore terribly so have to be on my own. I’m really sad about that!
But you are not wrong to want your own space. Maybe as someone else has said, ask for a single and pay the difference?

I have done this many times. It really didn't bother me. But I think it is perfectly reasonable to query it if it makes you uncomfortable.

I've done it a few times. It was fine.

Hard pass from me.

Last time I shared I was 19 and working at a boarding school. I'd had a room to myself and a new member of staff started so they stuck her in with me.

She spent the entire first night sobbing because she was so homesick and later on I found out she was stealing from me.