Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to report my friend for doing this

322 replies

NarwhalsNarwhals · 11/01/2020 06:19

My daughter has very serious mental health issues, we have support in place and anyone that is ever responsible for her without me there or who needs to know, knows exactly what is going on and I'm working with every agency going to make this better for DD. Friends in general don't know because they don't need to/DD doesn't want them to/I don't want them to.

Friend A works for CAMHS as admin. They answered a phone call from me double checking an appointment time. I have never spoken to them about any more than that. Friend B shouted at me because Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children) which not only means that A told B about the phone call but A must have gone and found out details because of that call (I don't know if that means they've checked DDs records or asked someone but either way there is no reason they should know - call was literally "hi, I've got two letters here, which one is the right date?" and then DDs name and DOB)

A is an unprofessional dickhead right? and I am allowed to be more angry than I can actually put into words?

I am struggling and maybe I don't deserve her because I don't know how to make this better and I should because I am mum and that is my job and maybe I am over reacting but that is why I'm asking MN before I contact CAMHS.

OP posts:
BasilOfBakerStreet · 11/01/2020 11:37

The hell!!! Shock absolute fools, the pair of them. Report.

CokeAndCrispsAndDip · 11/01/2020 11:39

Do you have any messages or texts or anything in writing to use as evidence as what's happened? It would help your case. Please report, A is no friend and who else has he told?? No words

robin04031402 · 11/01/2020 11:41

100% report her.
This is a breach of your DD's personal information which she is protected by under the Data Protection Act.
This needs to be dealt with seriously.
So sorry this has happend to you

2020BetterBeBetter · 11/01/2020 11:42

Do you have any messages or texts or anything in writing to use as evidence as what's happened? It would help your case.

Fortunately this won’t be needed. The access into patients’ files can be tracked electronically back to the user login. The only way A could get away was if she had logged in under somebody else (itself, a dismissal offence if proven) but equally if it turns out B found out from somebody else, the auditing of the computer access will show exactly who has looked up what and when.

ChipsRoastOrBoiled · 11/01/2020 11:52

Sending my very best wishes to you and your daughter, OP. It's heartening to hear you have some great supporters around you. You're going through such a difficult time and I don't understand how on earth anyone could think you are anything but a wonderful mother. X

CoffeeBeansGalore · 11/01/2020 11:55

Report! I used to work for the NHS as a medical secretary. The wife of a friend of my dh called & left a message for the consultant I was working for. To this day she does not know it was me she spoke to, & other than the consultant, nor does anyone else. You have to respect confidentiality, and now it's officially breach of GDPR. The date you spoke to her will be useful to help with tracking the system logging.

ViaSacra · 11/01/2020 11:57

Report, instantly.

Friend A has no excuse for having read your daughter’s notes - she may have unavoidably seen whatever was at the top when she opened her notes, but clearly she’s scrolled down and read the whole thing which is utterly unacceptable.

Christmaspug · 11/01/2020 11:58

Complain 100%
Letter to the head of camhs ,as high as you can
Stupid cow ,how dare she

PerfectlyImperfectx · 11/01/2020 12:01

@MinisterforCheekyFuckery

There's no "innocently" about it. For an NHS employee to disclose to anyone that OP's DD is accessing CAMHS is misconduct. That's confidential information.

Yes I absolutely agree with you. I was more coming from the angle that A could’ve said in passing to B “I spoke to OP the other day, she called me at work to check an appointment”. Yes it would be careless but it might not have been malicious.

Although it doesn’t explain how B knew the details of DDs medical history. I’m just struggling to understand why A would do that, fully knowing the implications it could have on their job.

TicTac80 · 11/01/2020 12:01

I'd report without hesitating! I had to read and re-read your posts as I was so shocked about this happening. I work as a nurse in the NHS and the rules/regs/laws on data protection, information governance, confidentiality etc etc are drilled into (and rightly so). If I ever cross paths with anyone I know (ie if they're patients on my ward), I let my manager know straight away, so that I can be moved to a different part of the ward. In the past, I've had people I know ask me if I minded looking up results of tests that they've had - I have refused and told them to speak to their doctors. No way would I ever do anything like that, and your "friend" had absolutely no business whatsoever doing what he did. He broke the law, and isn't fit to work where he does. Please, please report him.

ViaSacra · 11/01/2020 12:01

As a GP who works at a practice in the same area as my children’s school, I have over the years treated several of my children’s friends and classmates (and on the odd occasion, teachers).

But I have never mentioned this to my children - they never have any idea that I’ve seen one of their friends or teachers that day. I wouldn’t even tell my dh.

If Friend A doesn’t realise that total confidentiality applies even when she knows the patient, then she cannot be trusted to work anywhere near healthcare, and certainly not in an organisation that deals solely with vulnerable children and teenagers.

MostlyChocolate · 11/01/2020 12:02

@NarwhalsNarwhals 1254 people have voted YANBU... Formally complain she is a safeguarding risk to Children.

SunshineAngel · 11/01/2020 12:03

This is such an awful thing to do. When I was younger, I had a blood test for something. It came back negative (which we knew it would really, it was just a precaution), but my Aunty works in the path lab. She phoned my mum saying don't worry, the test for x has come back clear.

My mum knew nothing of the investigations. I would have told her if it had come to anything, but I was in my 20s and had no reason to worry her over what could be (and was!) nothing.

I was furious with her at the time and wanted to report her, but my mum stopped me, and made me feel like I was in the wrong for not telling her about the test! Why should I?!

jacqui5366 · 11/01/2020 12:06

Totally unprofessional, you need a friend to support you, your life must be so stressful dealing with your daughters issues, you are a caring mum, or you would not involved with Cahms (she is lucky to have you) - maybe have a word with A and B - how would they cope if they were in your position, I would whistleblow her to her superior giving all the details of the breach of your sensitive data - let them deal with her. Wishing you and your DD well.

user1471449295 · 11/01/2020 12:12

Report her!!!!!!! How disgusting

spacewitch99 · 11/01/2020 12:13

Report.
I lost a friendship last year for similar. Nurse friend messaged me confidential details about a patient in her care because they were being transferred to my hospital and she wanted me to visit them!
I would be furious if anyone did that with a family member.

Genevieva · 11/01/2020 12:16

This is an unlawful breach of the Data Protection Act, among other things. There is case law to support you. Report and ask that a full investigation takes place. She should lose her job and be fined.

Information Commissioner

Snooping on Patient Records

like7 · 11/01/2020 12:17

Sorry to hear that you're having to now deal with this on top of having a tough time with your daughter. of course you must report - this is almost unbelievable and friend A needs to leave this job immediately before any more harm is done. It is a shame that friend B also has no idea how unprofessional person A has been and added further to your distress.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/01/2020 12:23

YABVU for even asking. You know damn well this needs reporting. I personally have grave concerns that people who clearly can’t be trusted could have access to my Private information.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 11/01/2020 12:26

Not only is it disgraceful immoral and a rightly sackable offence. It’s also a criminal offence.

recklessruby · 11/01/2020 12:33

First of all you are not a shit mum, you are doing everything you can to help your daughter in a really hard situation.
Secondly report A. She needs sacked for breaking patient confidentiality.
Thirdly B is a judgemental twat who clearly has never had a child with MH issues and needs a slap (ok I know you cant but isnt it tempting?)
Finally these awful people are not your friends.

mcmooberry · 11/01/2020 12:45

One of the few threads ever where everyone is agreed. Report her, she is a disgrace.

PinkDaffodil2 · 11/01/2020 12:49

Another HCP saying please report! He is working with a really vulnerable group and needs to have this behaviour addressed - his employers need to be aware.

MatildaTheCat · 11/01/2020 12:52

It’s hard to see how the organisation can cover this up as suggested above. There is a clear record on electronic medical records as to who has accessed medical records.

Looking at the appointments page would be entirely separate from any clinical information IME. Complain formally and be absolutely clear that you want a full investigation and to be kept informed of its progress.

WineGumsandDaisies · 11/01/2020 12:57

Completely agree with PPs - please complain, to a very senior person, and insist they deal with this and let you know what they’re doing about it. It does make me wonder if A has done this before as it seems to have happened quite quickly. Makes me wonder what else she’s nosing around in and discussing/gossiping about.

They’re not your friends. Not even close. Don’t ever let anyone tell you how to parent, that doesn’t know the situation you’re in. You sound like you’re doing everything you can to navigate through this painful situation and I truly hope you can both come through this stronger and healthier people.

Block their numbers and cut them out if your lives. You don’t need that level of rudeness in your life.

Sending hugs