to report my friend for doing this

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

My daughter has very serious mental health issues, we have support in place and anyone that is ever responsible for her without me there or who needs to know, knows exactly what is going on and I'm working with every agency going to make this better for DD. Friends in general don't know because they don't need to/DD doesn't want them to/I don't want them to.

Friend A works for CAMHS as admin. They answered a phone call from me double checking an appointment time. I have never spoken to them about any more than that. Friend B shouted at me because Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children) which not only means that A told B about the phone call but A must have gone and found out details because of that call (I don't know if that means they've checked DDs records or asked someone but either way there is no reason they should know - call was literally "hi, I've got two letters here, which one is the right date?" and then DDs name and DOB)

A is an unprofessional dickhead right? and I am allowed to be more angry than I can actually put into words?

I am struggling and maybe I don't deserve her because I don't know how to make this better and I should because I am mum and that is my job and maybe I am over reacting but that is why I'm asking MN before I contact CAMHS.

[CoraPirbright]

Thanks for the update OP - I was thinking of you only this morning. I have to say, I hope friend A loses his job. And as for friend B and what they said to you.........words fail me.

[impostersyndrome]

Well @Bufferingkisses has certainly demonstrated what best practice should be in this situation. I hope to goodness you get a reassuring outcome to your complaint, OP.

[perfectstorm]

I hope they lose their job, Narwhal. Not for any vengeful reason, but because they absolutely aren't suitable if they can do this. It's abhorrent. As if you and your child didn't have sufficient to cope with.

[Billyeyelash]

I am glad the issue is going to be looked into. You probably aren't the only person they've had a good nosey at and gossiped to others about. It is not the job for them.

[MrsRagnarLothbrok]

I really hope they get sacked, the job they are in gives them access to information about very vulnerable people, if they abuse the position again it could have dreadful consequences

[justilou1]

I can’t see how they can retain their job. It can only have come from this person and it can only have been via malicious snooping and gossip. I am VERY certain that the NHS will never rehire someone under those circumstances again. Is it possible that she will also be charged?

[TiggerOfThigh]

@NarwhalsNarwhals bit of an aside, but I’ve just lost my daughter (14) in circumstances like your DD, if you want a chat, feel free to PM me. Good luck

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

UPDATE I had a call from their manager, very apologetic, the "friend" is no longer working for them, they offered a meeting to reassure DD about confidentiality but as I haven't told her what happened and no one else has either I said no thanks. I can expect a written response soon. I have been told I could take it further but hes been fired and as has been shown on here all the best practice exists, he just failed to follow it so there wouldn't be any point, it would just waste their already very limited time and resources.

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

@TiggerOfThigh I am so sorry

Thank you for the offer but I can't do that kind of conversation right now, I can't fully imagine what you are going through but it is where my nightmares go. I really am sorry because usually I'd be asking you if you wanted to talk but I'm not strong enough right now x

[BlackeyedSusan]

Tigger so sorry lovely.

[2018SoFarSoGreat]

@TiggerOfThigh sending and a hug. So, so sorry to read this.

[TiggerOfThigh]

Thank you all.

@NarwhalsNarwhals I didn’t want to derail your thread. Just know that there are people who can help, and support for YOU is out there too.

[springydaff]

He's broken the law, op. I'd want to follow up that channel, too, iiwy.

[ExhaustedGrinch]

Fantastic result NarwhalsNarwhals I'm glad they took the right action.

TiggerOfThigh I am so sorry to hear about your daughter

[cabbageking]

It is a big GDPR breach.

They should take it very seriously and can not ignore it for fear it has happened before, will happen again and they did not act.

If you don't get the response you expect refer it to ICO
ico.org.uk/make-a-complaint

[DonKeyshot]

If you should speak to B again I suggest you thank them for their big mouth without which you wouldn't have known that A had unlawfully accessed your dd's records and could still be working in a position where he could continue to illegally pry into the records of vulnerable people.

Well done, OP, and I hope your dd's mental health issues undergo an improvement in the near future.

[ArranUpsideDown]

UPDATE I had a call from their manager, very apologetic, the "friend" is no longer working for them...it would just waste their already very limited time and resources.

Good outcome from this sorry business, Narwhal.

Good luck to your and your DD.

[AndThenThereWereSeven]

TiggerOfThigh. I'm so, so sorry

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

I'm so sorry this happened but am pleased that the NHS took it seriously. Your ex friend did a dreadful thing and has quite rightly lost his job because of it.

I hope things improve for you and your dd. We went through similar with ds1 and severe mental health issues in his teens. He is now in his 20s and has come out the other side, is very happy, has a job, friends, and a good life. 6 years ago that didn't seem at all possible.

[Luckystar777]

I'm glad you reported him and even gladder he's been fired.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Tiggerofthigh . I’m so sorry.

Narwhals
That is a brilliant outcome. I do hope you and your dd can get the help you need.

[AdachiOljulo]

just reacting to OP

yanbu and neither A nor B deserve to be described as "friend" - they are "people you have met" and nasty ones at that.

will now RTFT.