to report my friend for doing this

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

My daughter has very serious mental health issues, we have support in place and anyone that is ever responsible for her without me there or who needs to know, knows exactly what is going on and I'm working with every agency going to make this better for DD. Friends in general don't know because they don't need to/DD doesn't want them to/I don't want them to.

Friend A works for CAMHS as admin. They answered a phone call from me double checking an appointment time. I have never spoken to them about any more than that. Friend B shouted at me because Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children) which not only means that A told B about the phone call but A must have gone and found out details because of that call (I don't know if that means they've checked DDs records or asked someone but either way there is no reason they should know - call was literally "hi, I've got two letters here, which one is the right date?" and then DDs name and DOB)

A is an unprofessional dickhead right? and I am allowed to be more angry than I can actually put into words?

I am struggling and maybe I don't deserve her because I don't know how to make this better and I should because I am mum and that is my job and maybe I am over reacting but that is why I'm asking MN before I contact CAMHS.

Definitely report. I don't work in the NHS but in a linked public sector and it's the same for us. I'm barred from looking up my own notes as I've been referred to our service myself and I have a suspicion that I've been moved from reporting on a particular area because I might see my own referrals as well as due to being off sick. It's most definitely gross misconduct and a firing offence. He can't have missed that because we've all had to do top up training recently because of GPDR. IT will most definitely know which part of the system has been accessed; basic details such as name, address, DoB etc are on a front page in most systems and then you have to click deeper so he won't be able claim accidental access. Even if he does, the time spent in that section will be very different from the time taken to read through as opposed to a mistaken click in and then click out again. Report to the highest level of your Health Board/Trust so it becomes more difficult to deny or cover up.

@Umberta I think it's more a reflection that medical reception staff are almost always women. I agree that that's a reflection of sexism too, in that people adopt roles based on assumptions, but it's also the lived reality of the world we inhabit. Male receptionists in all healthcare settings I've visited are quite rare.

You do need report and insist that this person has no further access to your DC notes. This "friend" will otherwise continue to see your DC's ongoing treatment/info.

I am NHS. Have been forever. Have seen some really interesting things about friends and acquaintances but I just have to try and wipe it from my mind and would never ever.discuss it with anyone. This has been drummed into me from day one and rightly so.

Should have added, I have seen colleagues sacked for.less. but that is absolutely what should happen. Patient's confidential medical information is sacrosanct

Our hospital is by no means the only one in the country still using paper records. It is misleading to suggest everyone is now electronic, yes, more and more hospital systems are electronic but physical patients notes are just that - physical paper folders with paper in them.
Depending on 'A's job responsibilities, they may have to prep notes for a clinic which could be when they saw info about the patient. Having access to the notes etc is not unreasonable as a member of the team, it's the sharing of the information that is the problem but how do you prove this without physical evidence? Saying 'B' told me that 'A' told them isn't going to cut it. I'm by no means saying don't report, I'm simply saying you WILL need evidence for it to go anywhere

Stop assuming only a woman would do this...!

No need to get your knickers in a twist 🙄

Nobody assumed that only a woman would do this. The only assumption that was (incorrectly) made was that the person was female. Simply because most receptionists ARE female.

Umberta yes, on re-reading I think you are right. Point taken. I know I wrongly assumed female until I read the update.

YANBU. Friend A broke the confidentiality agreement deliberately and knowingly, has broken the law, and deserves to loose their job.

I think I probably defaulted to female for a few reasons (when I posted, OP hadn't yet referred to A as male):

— the only sexes mentioned in the OP were female, and brains tend to get stuck in a rut that way and assign qualities to a thing that belong to the things around it
— there are very frequent MN posts about female friends doing this kind of thing, less frequently posts about male friends doing it
— a lot of the time when a female person refers to a friend, that friend will also be female
— we're more used to female NHS admin staff than male

I shouldn't have made the assumption but I forgive myself

I would definitely be contacting them, shes not a friend at all for doing this

Well, good to know everyone else is as disgusted as I am!

I have put in a written complaint and resisted the urge to call A and tell them what a dickhead they are.

This is really shocking and upsetting! Report and ask for a follow up on what’s being done about it.

Good for you Narwhal.

YANBU! Report.

I have put in a written complaint and resisted the urge to call A and tell them what a dickhead they are.

Good and continue resisting so they don’t get the heads up to try and come up with an excuse or cover their tracks (not that I’m sure how they will be able to justify going into your DD’s details.

So glad you reported, OP. Don't worry about PP who said that the onus is on you to prove/give evidence. It's a serious enough allegation that it'll be investigated thoroughly.

Apologies, I too wrote report "her"... from the OP I had presumed female due to friend B being female.

My presumptions were not on the job role or the gossiping factor, I read "her" in the OP and had assumed for all 🤷🏼‍♀️

Him or her, it doesn't really change opinion or advice.

Him or her, it doesn't really change opinion or advice.

Quite. It makes no difference. The actions were out of order whether the friend was male or female, it was irrelevant.

Report report report terrible

Wow ! Im gobsmacked
Not only would I formally complain by letter to the trust sent by recorded delivery, I would also make a report to the Information Commissioners office ICO - they do not mess about

NarwhalsNarwhals I would text A and try and get him to admit, text something along the lines of “ I’m glad you mentioned it to B as I have been meaning to mention it to her but didn’t know how to approach her. See what his reply is and hopefully can be used as evidence.

I’m glad you mentioned it to B as I have been meaning to mention it to her but didn’t know how to approach her. See what his reply is and hopefully can be used as evidence.

I really wouldn't do this. A then has evidence to say that you are glad they did what they allegedly did.

You don't even need to contact A and I wouldn't. B has already said that A told them everything, that in itself is enough for you to consider there has been a data breach and you can report straight to the ICO.

I wouldn't be "game playing" with either person over this if a report is going to be made, it needs to be done properly and professionally.

Well done!

I would text A and try and get him to admit, text something along the lines of “ I’m glad you mentioned it to B as I have been meaning to mention it to her but didn’t know how to approach her. See what his reply is and hopefully can be used as evidence.

Do not do this!! Crazy advice. The IT systems are set up to show exactly who viewed accounts and when. You don’t need to be an amateur sleuth!