to report my friend for doing this

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

My daughter has very serious mental health issues, we have support in place and anyone that is ever responsible for her without me there or who needs to know, knows exactly what is going on and I'm working with every agency going to make this better for DD. Friends in general don't know because they don't need to/DD doesn't want them to/I don't want them to.

Friend A works for CAMHS as admin. They answered a phone call from me double checking an appointment time. I have never spoken to them about any more than that. Friend B shouted at me because Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children) which not only means that A told B about the phone call but A must have gone and found out details because of that call (I don't know if that means they've checked DDs records or asked someone but either way there is no reason they should know - call was literally "hi, I've got two letters here, which one is the right date?" and then DDs name and DOB)

A is an unprofessional dickhead right? and I am allowed to be more angry than I can actually put into words?

I am struggling and maybe I don't deserve her because I don't know how to make this better and I should because I am mum and that is my job and maybe I am over reacting but that is why I'm asking MN before I contact CAMHS.

You have to report.

Sorry you're having such a hard time of it, and that these people have shown themselves to be such poor friends.

As pp said, they will be able to access info on the files she has accessed so you don't need proof yourself. I hope she gets more than a warning.

That was so out of order from your 'friend' and I would definitely be reporting her. I have 2 adopted DDs (10 and7); DD1 has a lot of adoption related issues and also has SEN. She has a lot of anger and will regularly hurl things across the room as well as lashing out at me.

I would be really angry if an admin worker at SS divulged information about her issues to someone else who knew me. It's basically gossip and she shouldn't get away with it.

To add to my previous post, in our NHS trust, if we attempt to access the records of anyone who isn't officially assigned to our caseload, a box comes up on the screen asking you to fill in why you're accessing this person's notes. This woman certainly hasn't ended up viewing your daughter's notes by accident.

I work in child mental health (not NHS but a related community agency). I have had friends children come through and I’ve had to decline their cases and ask for the files to be annotated so no-one will discuss with me. I’ve had my children’s friends pass through for an assessment and had to reassure them of the confidentiality of our service. I’ve been in meetings when a child at risk was being discussed and I’ve realised I know some of their family socially and have had to excuse myself. Client confidentiality is SO important.

What friends A&B have done is completely wrong. Not just because it is illegal but because if the service gets a reputation for being casual about confidentiality the clients won’t trust them and treatment could be compromised.

You should absolutely report him, as 1400 people have agreed that you are not being unreasonable to do so, and not a single person has tried to argue otherwise...

Get it in text or messenger. Report and show them the evidence. She needs to be fired.

I've dealt with confidential medical information relating to a lot of people I know - and once in a school, with some's children.

You just don't do this - even before the systems monitored who and what was accessed, it was completely unacceptable and grounds for dismissal.

My DP's XW will never know that I was the nice lady who sorted everything out so she could have a termination early enough that it was a medical, rather than surgical, procedure. DP knows that I worked there and that I dealt with lots of people that I knew or have subsequently met (I have a very good memory for names), but he's never asked me - because he knows I wouldn't share that information. My own mother doesn't know I saw her test results when sorting out a bunch of post and referrals for one department - my consultant did, because I took the lot to him and said 'This is my mother. Please can they be somewhere else?'.

This person hasn't just looked something up out of interest in the patient pathway, learning about the process or because it was part of their job - they've gone on to share the information. They must be reported and any evidence you have that shows they spoke to somebody else (B in this case) would be very useful in proving that the information hasn't just happened across their desk, they've disclosed it.

They need to be dismissed. People like this are why it's harder for me to get jobs near to where I live. And why I've had to deal with calls pleading with me not to tell anybody about awful, heartbreaking things - I wouldn't dream of doing it and I was hurt both for myself, that anybody could think that I would - and for them to have that fear.

The people saying there will be no proof - virtually nowhere in the UK Is still using paper records, are they?
It is extremely difficult to cover up an electronic trail. As others have said, you are entitled to complain yourself to the ICO and get it investigated by them if you're at all dissatisfied with the outcome of the internal complaint - this makes it very difficult for an internal cover-up to happen, even if the department concerned should wish to go down this route. THe ICO has taken court action in the past against NHS staff in similar circumstances - see their webpage for details.

I really wish people would stop saying you have to be '100% sure' before you report someone for this type of thing. You don't. The investigation and the electronic data will establish it if your suspicion is correct.

You don't have to be sure or have complete proof to report. As a few people have said, every key stroke leaves a trail even on PCs that aren't used in this type of work - any company can check whether you're accessing social media during work time for example.

It's down to the organisation to prove or disprove an allegation. Just explain to them what you suspect and that your 'friend' is the only contact who could possibly know this. The organisation will check and if she's found out, she'll be dealt with as appropriate.

And yes, you should report her. Who else could she be doing this to? Maybe one of the kids at school is going through similar or a neighbour has a family member using the service - can she be trusted with that or is she spilling all that out to mates over a coffee?

I work in a school and know things about people I know or their children because it's on their record and I see the record for other things. It's not my business, it's not my place to speak about them and it's more than my job is worth to tittle tattle. End of story. Report her OP.

I'm on the app so can't vote. I'm sure if there was a vote button the number would be much higher than 1400!!

I'd report her without a doubt. What a horrible person to gossip in relation to health

I presume if you do report her, her computer is likely monitored and it can see how long she's been on pages what pages she's visited?

I don't work for nhs but I imagine they would be able to follow this

Report him right now, don't hesitate!!!

(But also to all PPs....why are you saying "report her" when OP has told us A is a man? Is it that you guys are assuming only a woman would do this dreadful thing? Check your prejudice people...)

OP said: I will never forgive A but I needed to check possibly costing him his job is justified.
Friend A is a man. Not a woman. Stop saying "report her". Stop assuming only a woman would do this...!

Many medical records are electronic these days with detailed security in place. If she looked up the records on the system, it will be possible to see what she looked at and when, every movement in these systems leaves a trace. Definitely report it, dismissal is a highly likely outcome for the breach of patient confidentiality. Deservedly so. Patients have the right to know their data is secure.

Report it! As someone in the medical field myself, confidentiality is 100% the most important thing! I know it can sometimes be hard to not gossip but friend A has completely crossed a line and I would not tolerate that.
Contact her manager/Supervisor or put a complaint in through PALS (patient advice and liaison service)
She should definitely not get away with that.

Good luck x

Report!
Disgusting behaviour by both A and B.
Someone suggested messaging B. I personally wouldn't.
Don't contact either. Report, follow their regulations on how the situation is dealt with from here and cut all contact with A and B.

And don't be too hard on yourself. We may be mums, superheroes to our children but we can't protect them from everything

This is against the law, this person should lose there job, and more. I work for the NHS and this is not acceptable at all. If you need support contact PALs who will help you. I would put a formal complaint in, the trust website should have the contact info.
NHS uses electronic notes most of the time which means they can track who looked at notes and when, if they had the right to, this being crossed is so bad but to talk about a client is inexcusable, and illegal, nhs staff sign a confidentiality form when starting. Your job here is mum you protect your child, this "friendship" is over the moment she clicked on the notes. Anyone e who gives you trouble just ask them if they would want friend looking at there info and sharing it.

Report him.

If he is doing it to you (bad enough) he is likely to be doing it with others.

Like it or not he is in a position of trust and he is abusing that.

"Stop assuming only a woman would do this...!"

I don't think that's what's happening - more that people are assuming that the OP only has female friends.

Umberta I don't think people are assuming only a woman would do this (at least I hope not) they are just responding to the OP's first post and haven't read her updates, as happens so often on here.

OP, of course you must report A. His behaviour was appalling.

It’s gross misconduct and needs reporting.

The data breach will also likely mean a fine under GDPR.

@dramaalpaca I take on board what you're saying but the original post used "they" for friend A and "she" for friend B.
Then literally hundreds of commenters assumed A was a woman.
I think it's always worth checking one's unconscious sexist bias. In all seriousness, it's both women and men who have the responsibility to make this world a less sexist place. I'm sorry for derailing slightly from the main point, which is that friend A is a horrible, malicious dickhead who absolutely should not keep his job, and that OP and OP's poor DD have been treated shockingly badly. But still my breath was taken away by the sheer number of commenters clinging onto their preconception that only a woman could be this bitchy.

Friend A was clearly extremely nosy, a busybody, interfering, malicious, gossippy... sadly we still seem to live in a world where these words are seen as feminine.

I haven't RTFT but just the first few pages.

Absolutely horrific @NarwhalsNarwhals please make sure you don't just approach PALS but you search for the Trust Complaints Team who investigate misconduct.