to report my friend for doing this

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

My daughter has very serious mental health issues, we have support in place and anyone that is ever responsible for her without me there or who needs to know, knows exactly what is going on and I'm working with every agency going to make this better for DD. Friends in general don't know because they don't need to/DD doesn't want them to/I don't want them to.

Friend A works for CAMHS as admin. They answered a phone call from me double checking an appointment time. I have never spoken to them about any more than that. Friend B shouted at me because Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children) which not only means that A told B about the phone call but A must have gone and found out details because of that call (I don't know if that means they've checked DDs records or asked someone but either way there is no reason they should know - call was literally "hi, I've got two letters here, which one is the right date?" and then DDs name and DOB)

A is an unprofessional dickhead right? and I am allowed to be more angry than I can actually put into words?

I am struggling and maybe I don't deserve her because I don't know how to make this better and I should because I am mum and that is my job and maybe I am over reacting but that is why I'm asking MN before I contact CAMHS.

[JasonPollack]

Please report her, that's absolutely horrendous. Best if luck with your daughter

I was a suicidally depressed teen, now I'm a mostly functional adult with a family of my own. Recovery is possible, healing is possible

[user1493413286]

That’s awful; I’ve had situations at work where I’ve taken phone calls like that where I know people and have alerted my boss so that those records are locked down which is standard procedure. I’d never look but it’s reassuring to everyone including myself that I couldn’t be accused of looking. I’d never dream of saying anything to anyone else

[PhilCornwall1]

Can't believe what I've just read here.

It beggars belief that people really do this kind of thing and think it's ok, where are their brains and sense of what's right?

[Bl3ss3dm0m]

I agree with everyone else, you should report her, but only if you are sure that friend a is the one who told friend b. Did friend b tell you herself that it was friend a who told her? If she did, could she actually be lying because she wants to protect the person who actually told her? If you are not certain about the facts, it might be best to ask friend a, why and how, she thought it was ok to tell friend b about your dc, if by her answer you can tell it was friend a who gave her the information, then please do report her. By the way, you sound like a very good and caring mum ❤

[PhilCornwall1]

I will never forgive A but I needed to check possibly costing him his job is justified.

It's very justified OP. It's gross misconduct (and illegal), but she has also mouthed off about your daughters private business to others.

If none of this is grounds for you to take a stand and say "I'm primarily doing this for my daughter, but to also protect others from the same thing happening", I don't know what is.

I would have absolutely no hesitation in doing it.

[TheFuckingDogs]

Report report report. Yes you should be incredibly angry. Unlikely a case worker has discussed your daughters situation with admin - sounds like the nosey cow has gone snooping. Outrageous behaviour. She should be dismissed. Not sure what system Camhs use but I’m sure it will be possible to check if she’s accessed notes

[SlayingDragons]

Definitely report.

I would hazard a guess that more than A&B know now too - these things never just stay between 2 people.

I would also hazard a guess that if you had told them that you weren’t coping they would have been “sympathetic” and offered “help”, but would still have gossiped about you. Gossipers gossip no matter how they find out - you were right not to tell them yourself.

Help and Sympathy are in inverted commas because I doubt it would have been genuine - more to do with them being your saviour friends than what you/your DD really needed. Some people just make everything about themselves. A&B are pissed off that you didn’t tell them because they don’t get to play the sympathetic saviour hence why they are lashing out at you. The gossip would have happened no matter how they found out though.

Report and have A sacked - she’ll keep looking and keep gossiping if you don’t. As a PP said - she has quite possibly done this to other people too.

[TheFuckingDogs]

You are very much justified in doing this regardless of whether A was trying to be helpful. It is the most basic aspect of such a job. It’s clearly not a suitable role for A

[Sceptre86]

As pp havecsaid accessing patient notes without a need to di so will lead to a dismissal as it is a breach of patient confidentiality. Report straight away. Just because you are a mum doesn't always mean you will have the answer for everything and can magically make it all better, so don't be so hard on yourself. You are supporting your child!

[overnightangel]

I’d have reported this immediately. Mental health is something you do not fuck about with. Report A and block their number so there’s no contact pending an investigation and hopefully dismissal, block B as well but not before you’ve told them what a piece of shit they are,

DO NOT tell A or B you’ve reported them

[Billben]

these things never just stay between 2 people.

Exactly. If B already considers you a bad mother who fails her children I very much doubt she’ll be keeping this info to herself.

[Jokie]

Report them. Absolutely no excuse for this behaviour

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

@TheFoxAndTheMole thanks. I am really lucky and have some amazing real life support. School have been brilliant to both of us, I have some fantastic close friends and a large close knit family.

[TheFoxAndTheMole]

It's not you who would be costing him his job, it's his illegal, immoral actions which are a very serious breach of his contract.

It's you who would be able to alert his employer and help prevent other "friends" of his from having their, personal, sensitive data leaked through gossip. As far as I understand it every NHS user who can access data leaves a footprint, which can be investigated. He clearly has no reason to access her record, so if he did (as opposed to verbally getting the info) he has left his own incriminating data.

[Milosmirror]

Please report her NarwhalsNarwhals.

Part of me wants to believe A is just an idiot who meant well but nobody has come up with any way that this is ok.
A has broken the law and potentially compromised a patient's wellbeing in the process. She may well be an idiot but one who shouldn't be working with confidential patient data.

If it was a GP patient software system, it will be very possible to find out if 'A' accessed the patient records and when. Is there a practice manager you can contact about this?

about your dd. I wish you and her well.

[PawPatrolMakesMeDrink]

I am so angry on your behalf. That is entirely unprofessional behaviour from A and B is just being an utter cunt as well.
My line manager (NHS GP surgery) would be incandescent if a staff member looked up a patient record without justification and broke confidentiality. It is gross misconduct and rightly so.

[JustACog]

Report, if she's snooping round and gossiping about your DD's situation who else's records is she looking at.

YADNBU

[Sleephead1]

I'm nhs admin we have regular training on confidentiality , sign a confidentiality agreement , have phonecalls listened to at random and are all aware that breaching is gross misconduct and we will be sacked. To give you an example if you come for an appointment and your husband comes in 5 minutes later after parking the car and asks if you have gone in we cant even confirm you are here unless you told us to before you went in to appointment. Our computers are monitored and it shows everytime we open a record , how long we are in the record and what we looked at. Complain to the manager and they will investigate for you but it looks like she has looked at her records.

[LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood]

You should report A.

He has not made a ‘mistake’. This is something that he chose to do. Make sure that you are calm when you do it.

And as an aside (as a mother who’s DD1 was near death with extreme anorexia just over 2 years ago) you have my huge sympathy and admiration. Hang on to the hope of better times to come.

[vjg13]

The individual who accessed your daughter's records knew that this was a breach of confidentiality. There is compulsory training within the NHS on this for everyone. Please report.

[Karwomannghia]

Did she say A had told her? Just make sure you’re 100% sure of that but yes massive breach of confidentiality- what on earth was she thinking?

[MyPatronusIsABadger]

I work in a role like this, if someone I knew came on the phone (and they said they knew me) I’d tell them I’d have to pass the call to someone else because I knew them.

If I didn’t recognise the voice/you right away as soon as you gave names/DoB/address I’d have to interrupt so you didn’t give me your information.

Even if it’s just someone we MIGHT know eg on our street. We are told to say we’ve got a problem with our system then we transfer to a colleague advising them of why.

This is to protect the workers so there is no possible way we could ever be accused of something (as well as customers obviously)

I’m so sorry this happened.

[UnexpectedItemInTheShaggingAre]

YADNBU
I used to work as a joint CAMHS and Adult mental health administrator & receptionist for the central hub where everyone goes for there mh appointments.
The minute I found out I was talking to someone I knew, because I live in Devon, where everyone knows everyone.
I would have to explain that I was person x, and did they wish to continue talking to me, or would they like me to find an alternative member of staff, anything they say to me would be treated in the strictest of confidence and I wouldn’t share any information, other than with other medical providers etc.


She’s bang out of order.

[FullOfJellyBeans]

A and B both sound bloody awful I would report her in a second. Good luck going forward OP.

[UnexpectedItemInTheShaggingAre]

Sorry just to add that shpeil above was the sort of acquaintance one -
If I knew I was chatting to a mate I would just avoid at all costs.