to report my friend for doing this

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

My daughter has very serious mental health issues, we have support in place and anyone that is ever responsible for her without me there or who needs to know, knows exactly what is going on and I'm working with every agency going to make this better for DD. Friends in general don't know because they don't need to/DD doesn't want them to/I don't want them to.

Friend A works for CAMHS as admin. They answered a phone call from me double checking an appointment time. I have never spoken to them about any more than that. Friend B shouted at me because Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children) which not only means that A told B about the phone call but A must have gone and found out details because of that call (I don't know if that means they've checked DDs records or asked someone but either way there is no reason they should know - call was literally "hi, I've got two letters here, which one is the right date?" and then DDs name and DOB)

A is an unprofessional dickhead right? and I am allowed to be more angry than I can actually put into words?

I am struggling and maybe I don't deserve her because I don't know how to make this better and I should because I am mum and that is my job and maybe I am over reacting but that is why I'm asking MN before I contact CAMHS.

[Sagradafamiliar]

Sweet that is awful :( your poor SS. I hope shaming him in front of his college made you feel big.

[Loveislandaddict]

Friend A has revealed medical details and breached confidentiality. Definitely not allowed.

Hope you are okay.

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

@Sweetpeach3 why didn't his college get him medical help if they thought he had taken an overdose?

[Mammatino]

This is disgusting behaviour. When you report this make sure you tell them the time and date of your call. Also make sure you tell them that you then received a personal attack by B. They will know the serious of any potential consequences of this. Bloody bastards. Keep supporting your DD and be kind to yourself, none of this is your fault. Your poor DD is going through an awful time and so are you I hope things start to get brighter for you both soon.

[stuffedpeppers]

If she tries to deny it, they will do a trace on who has accessed your daughters records and their login will be there - that she will struggle to deny.

They can trace the login to the person, the time and the computer - believe me it is fairly damning and undeniable.

I work in the NHS - report her, we have had this in our hospital and believe me it is taken very seriously. If she has done it once , she will have done it multiple times - fire her.

[JustDanceAddict]

Completely unprofessional but up to you if you want to report. She might lose her job.

[Jomarchsburntskirt]

This is a massive data protection breach. She should be sacked for that. Of course you should report her. @PlayerOneNotReady is absolutely spot on.

The organisation will most likely have ways of finding out exactly what she has been looking at. If she’s looked at your daughter’s information this will confirm what you think and assist the organisation with their investigation. Hope your daughter is feeling better soon.

[perfectstorm]

@posterSoontobe60 the last thing OP should do is talk to A before reporting! That gives him time to dream up a cover story, if it's a breach. If there is an innocent explanation he can offer that when questioned there and then. Why on earth would you want to give someone the chance to wriggle out? If he's not done anything wrong he will have that truthful explanation to hand.

And it's not relevant here, because no explanation suffices for his having shared this with B, anyway.

[fedup21]

The breach of confidentiality is shocking, but are you absolutely certain that A didn't find out legitimately?I think you need to have a conversation with A for your own peace of mind. How did he get hold of the information? Why did he tell B? Has he told anyone else? It's surprising how information like this gets passed round so it may be that A knew via a different route. Before you contact his employer, ask the questions.

This. Have a conversation with A first. I presume A will be expecting it-will B have told them what happened when they shouted at you?

[motortroll]

Report! But good luck putting a complaint into cahms....didn't get me anywhere, they just closed ranks on me. Mine was about unprofessional conduct as well.

[MissingMySleep]

Report her definitely

[Monstermummymum]

I am so angry on your behalf. That is totally unprofessional and your 'friend' shouldn't be allowed to work in that kind of environment. Please report her. She is not your friend.

[jellycatspyjamas]

Mental health is different for everyone my DSS does it for attention and to sway it from the real issues (him being. A shit lol)

As an aside, mental health is something you have, not something you do. And living with someone who think they’re a shit will probably not help.

[TheMamaYo]

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Shocking behaviour from both friends. It needs reporting. A hasn’t got the decency required to be in a role like that. I’d be very very angry too.

[jellycatspyjamas]

The breach of confidentiality is shocking, but are you absolutely certain that A didn't find out legitimately?I think you need to have a conversation with A for your own peace of mind. How did he get hold of the information? Why did he tell B? Has he told anyone else? It's surprising how information like this gets passed round so it may be that A knew via a different route. Before you contact his employer, ask the questions.

Any investigation will explore all of that, the OP has enough to deal with without trying to get to the bottom of it. She hasn’t told either friend, one friend has access to the relevant medical records - it’s not a stretch to think they’ve been accessed and the information shared. I’d report to CAMHS and let them sort it out.

[San141]

Definitely report them!!
I had something similar, my daughter was diagnosed with cancer so we had been sent to a major hospital 2 hours from home, I rang my own doctor to get my prescription sent over the receptionist (ex friend) then posted on my Facebook how sorry she was and that she was thinking about us!! We hadn't told anyone as my parents where on holiday. I rang her manager and she lost her job, she still (9 years later) tells people it was my fault!!!
Good luck and hope you and your DC get the help you need x

[Isleepinahedgefund]

Of course you should report her, and I wouldn't speak to either of them again.

There is absolutely no way this can be justified as well meant, and your friend has seriously breached both your trust and your employer's.

Her employer relies on the integrity of staff to maintain confidentiality, and the fact that she is your "friend" does not make it ok for her to do this.

[HoneysuckleSpeck]

I’ve never seen such a unanimous AIBU!

[abbeycafe]

I would report it, big time. Write to your MP too.

[Mulledwineinajug]

Something similar happened to me. I reported. Unfortunately all it took was for the hcp to say they didn’t tell anyone. and their word was taken.

The response to my complaint was that I needed ‘evidence’ in order to pursue it. So unless B was prepared to make a statement to the effect that A told her confidential details, there is nothing can be done ime.

Wrong and hideous.

[oldmum22]

NO question . Report it asap . Friend A has breached Data protection . Don't approach either friend A or B , go straight to PALS or the trust . They are not friends at all .

[Morgan12]

Oh my God I can't believe how stupid your (ex) friend has been! They will be sacked for this. Which is a great thing because they should not be working with confidential info.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[CanICelebrate]

Definitely report friend A
Friend B sounds awful and I think you’re better without either of these ‘friends’ in your life

[perfectstorm]

I've literally never seen a 100% consensus on AIBU before. There's always one voting the other way. Think you have your answer, OP.

Really would message B first and try to get that written admission, even indirectly, though. Ask if A and B often gossip about you, type thing - make it clear what this was about but don't flag up that you're after evidence of the unlawfulness, so she doesn't clam up.

If you have an admission that she knows because A told her, then there's no way out for A.

[sickandtiredofsick]

@Mulledwineinajug this is precisely the situation that happened in cases I’ve been aware of