to report my friend for doing this

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

My daughter has very serious mental health issues, we have support in place and anyone that is ever responsible for her without me there or who needs to know, knows exactly what is going on and I'm working with every agency going to make this better for DD. Friends in general don't know because they don't need to/DD doesn't want them to/I don't want them to.

Friend A works for CAMHS as admin. They answered a phone call from me double checking an appointment time. I have never spoken to them about any more than that. Friend B shouted at me because Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children) which not only means that A told B about the phone call but A must have gone and found out details because of that call (I don't know if that means they've checked DDs records or asked someone but either way there is no reason they should know - call was literally "hi, I've got two letters here, which one is the right date?" and then DDs name and DOB)

A is an unprofessional dickhead right? and I am allowed to be more angry than I can actually put into words?

I am struggling and maybe I don't deserve her because I don't know how to make this better and I should because I am mum and that is my job and maybe I am over reacting but that is why I'm asking MN before I contact CAMHS.

[frumpety]

This is awful OP, what on earth was A thinking ? They are neck deep in shit if they did share information and rightly so. Anybody who has access to patient information has this drummed into them at the beginning of starting a job and on a yearly basis there after. No excuses.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

It honest-to-god doesn't matter in the slightest whether or not A had legitimate reason to access the OP's DD's records - what matters is that A then blabbed to B, which is a MASSIVE breach of confidentiality.

If A had no reason to access the records, then that's a breach in its own right and bad enough - but to have blabbed to an outside party is unforgivable, especially one who A knows knows the OP.

Absolutely report A (still 100% YANBU by the way) - do it ASAP and get them out of that position because they're a fucking liability.

[CakeandCustard28]

YANBU! She’s broken confidentiality! She ought to be sacked for that.

[Kanga83]

A deserves to loose her job over this. It's a breach of patient confidentiality in a place that is meant to be safe. She knew the score and simply gossiped, and has found out more by case notes if your phone call was just to confirm an appointment. The repercussions of loosing the job is not your issue- her actions alone have caused this.

[WomanInTheWindow]

How can you be a good parent to someone with severe mental health difficulties? You can't have one answer to that question - every day is different, every symptom, every situation the child finds themselves in. Whether its self-harm, or trauma or an eating disorder - it's long-term and takes so much energy and up and downs for everyone.

As someone who has been both patient and carer - don't let her impact you. You know what your everyday is, and what your daughter needs.

As a teacher, I know that sort of thing is a breach - if she looked into her file with no need, or whether she then verbally passed on that information to someone else. But it sounds like you are doing the right thing.

[WelcomeToCranford]

Definitely complain. It will be logged who accessed the patient's files and as for disclosing it to Friend B? Thats a dismissal for gross misconduct right there.

[ConstanceL]

Throw that bitch under the bus, and make it reverse over her as well
The OP has stated that friend A is a man - why are so many people assuming it's a woman 🤔
OP absolutely report him. If he loses his job that won't be because of you, it will be because he has broken data protection law and is a liability. Actions have consequences.

[billybagpuss]

Definitely report, even if they do close ranks it will still be logged against her.

[DobbyLovesSocks]

Unfortunately @Mulledwineinajug is right. Absolutely report it but without evidence I'm not sure what the Trust can do other than give 'A' a severe warning. If you have proof that 'B' found out from 'A' who found out by accessing your DC's records then great.
Unfortunately without evidence 'A' can deny all knowledge and I doubt an investigation will find anything. Unless you make the complaint anonymously 'A' can say that you were friends and have fallen out and you are trying to cause trouble.

[stuffedpeppers]

I would not speak to her- report her and let them investigate, you do not need the stress or vitriol that will come from A and B.
It is not your responsibility.

Information Governance Team - they will investigate. The fact that the currently alleged breach has resulted in you being verbally assaulted by another person will be taken seriously.

[Interestedwoman]

Friend A was wrong, and IMO you should report as it's a breach of confidentiality/data protection. But:

'Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children)'

WTAF? There's no way this person could be any less of a friend.

[Equanimitas]

The Trust's IT system should show who has accessed records, so it should be relatively easy to show that A has done so. Unless she has a valid reason, that's a disciplinary issue in itself, and creates a very strong presumption that it was she who told B.

[ByeMF]

OP these people are both awful and I am so sad for you. What B said was unforgivable. For the sake of your sanity block them both.

Like everyone else has said, you must report A. He should not be in that role. If he's accessed your dd's records he'll be doing it with every patient whose name he recognises. Absolutely unacceptable and they know it. You aren't getting them sacked, their behaviour is.

You are not a bad mum. All this isn't your fault

[PerfectlyImperfectx]

you I completely agree with all the advice. Please make sure you report this. If A has accessed your DDs records there will be audit trails to show this and it will be very difficult for A to justify why they had a need to access this sensitive information. If this turns out to be the case then A absolutely has abused their position of trust and their should be consequences.

Just to give a different perspective though, are you absolutely sure that A told B? A works for CAMHS so if you called about an appointment, it’s likely A would know that you were accessing the service of CAMHS. And she could’ve mentioned it in passing to B innocently. I don’t think it’s the most likely scenario but one to consider.

I hope things improve for you and I’m sure you’re doing everything you can for DD

[damnthatanxiety]

I agree with a pp. Get B to acknowledge she got the details from A in writing (FB etc). Evidence to prevent people lying their way out.

[Russellbrandshair]

Report report report. Friend A is breaking confidentiality rules which she should be sacked for. That is gross misconduct and she should not be allowed access to people’s private medical details if she is gonna do that.

[Bizawit]

Wow almost 800 votes and 100% consensus. Never seen that on AIBU before!

YANBU OP. That is god awful. Report, report, report.

Sounds like you are doing everything you can to get your DD the support she needs, that makes you an AMAZING mum.

[Tartyflette]

But Dobby B told the OP it was A who had passed the information to her! The OP had previously kept all this very private.
And according to the NHS professionals here it will be clear when and how A accessed the records.

[spongedog]

Sorry i cant see your posts clearly as no highlighting and I havent read the whole thread.

If you are certain that the only way A could have know those details about your DD, then yes report. Do it factually and concisely. ie you believe there was an unauthorised access to medical records.

However if it is possible that A knew those details anyway through other friends and family - I know you are certain that you have everything locked down but it is amazing what people find out. Then it might be coincidence about the timing. But again you should report but be even more circumspect about the facts.

Wishing you well with DD and her recovery.

[LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood]

You absolutely have enough on your plate without contacting your ‘friend’ and conducting your own investigation.

You should email the head of your branch of CAMHS service. Draft the email this weekend. And send it first thing on Monday.

Just state the facts as you believe them to be.

That you believe there has been a serious breach of data protection law and your daughter’s right to confidentiality of her personal information.

Say that on (date) you spoke to A by telephone to enquire about an appointment. That you know A personally.

On (date) you were told by B that A had told them X (name what they said) about your DD. Don’t say anything about the unpleasant things B said to you. That is not relevant for this complaint. Make it clear that B did not know before. And that B told you A was the person they got the information from.

Say you believe that A has breached the data protection laws - both by accessing your DD’s information without a good enough reason and disclosing it to a third party.

Ask for an acknowledgment of your complaint within 24 hours and that you will be wanting to know what the plan of action is.

Best of luck.

[katy1213]

Absolutely report it - but unfortunately impossible to prove it.

[Lougle]

There will be an audit trail. I work in medical audit and every time I click a record, it's logged. Once, I had submitted a flu swab after being very ill and I wouldn't even look up my own record, I asked a medical colleague to do so (perfectly legitimate, we needed to know if I had flu to protect other patients).

[rumandbiscuits]

You need to report her. That is terribly unprofessional and not fair you you or your DD. You sound like a very caring Mum so don't take any notice of friend A or B!

[MinisterforCheekyFuckery]

A works for CAMHS so if you called about an appointment, it’s likely A would know that you were accessing the service of CAMHS. And she could’ve mentioned it in passing to B innocently

There's no "innocently" about it. For an NHS employee to disclose to anyone that OP's DD is accessing CAMHS is misconduct. That's confidential information.

[Bluebell9]

I've not read all the responses so I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned it already but your friend has also breached GDPR by disclosing personal details regarding your daughter, which should be reported to the Information Commissioners Office by CAMHS.
I would point this out in your complaint and possibly report it to the ICO yourself.

I hope you and your daughter are ok.