to report my friend for doing this

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

My daughter has very serious mental health issues, we have support in place and anyone that is ever responsible for her without me there or who needs to know, knows exactly what is going on and I'm working with every agency going to make this better for DD. Friends in general don't know because they don't need to/DD doesn't want them to/I don't want them to.

Friend A works for CAMHS as admin. They answered a phone call from me double checking an appointment time. I have never spoken to them about any more than that. Friend B shouted at me because Friend A told her about DD's self harm and suicide attempts and me not coping (which according to B is totally because I am a shit mother who doesn't deserve children) which not only means that A told B about the phone call but A must have gone and found out details because of that call (I don't know if that means they've checked DDs records or asked someone but either way there is no reason they should know - call was literally "hi, I've got two letters here, which one is the right date?" and then DDs name and DOB)

A is an unprofessional dickhead right? and I am allowed to be more angry than I can actually put into words?

I am struggling and maybe I don't deserve her because I don't know how to make this better and I should because I am mum and that is my job and maybe I am over reacting but that is why I'm asking MN before I contact CAMHS.

[Spitsandspots]

but I needed to check possibly costing him his job is justified

Absolutely. I’m assuming A & B have children DD’s age?
Your child has a right to confidentiality and it is shocking that, not only has another friend been told, but there is now the possibility that their children will be told and DD knowing that her classmates know her difficulties may cause her huge problems.

I work in the NHS. A knows that is unacceptable and there will be an audit trail of them accessing DD’s records. They deserve to lose their job. Shocking.

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

To clarify - B said A had told her, the only people who knew about the suicide attempt were me, DD, school and CAMHS.

[perfectstorm]

I'd message friend B on Facebook and express your anger and upset that she has said these things to you, and that she shouldn't have known any of it, because friend A should not have told her. Don't mention the legal side, or A's job risk, because you don't want to raise her antennae and get her thinking around how to respond, just focus on how upset you are by her words on your parenting and how you're doing your best and you can't believe A thinks these things and has shared it with B, that you thought they were your friends and would be more understanding. Hopefully her response will be proof of what has happened here. Then when you complain you'll have a paper trail. If they have kids, saying it could happen to them too may trigger the self righteous wankery response you need.

The Trust will have trouble explaining that one away, if you have a written message from B, knowing info, and it's clear A told her.

[FenellaMaxwell]

She’s not remotely “just an idiot” - it’s drilled into everyone who works in the NHS that it’s a sackable offence to access records without a professional reason to do so. You can’t even access your own or your child’s. Even if I have a reason to call up a patient’s notes, unless I am the person who has been asked to review them, I only check the first page to make sure the notes in the folder match the outside. Ditto patient access notes - most systems, when you call up a patient’s record, will only display name, address and booking information on the first tab, so you’d have not reason to access the detailed notes tabs.

[perfectstorm]

Phrase it in a way that will trigger her reaction to you, as she was on the phone. You want her to instantly react in anger, without taking time to think. She clearly has no clue what they've done is a massive no-no, but if she stops and talks to A, she'll be a lot more careful before committing herself in writing.

[Jellybeansincognito]

Please report her. She could know other people who use this service and she’ll again do as she’s done to you.

There’s no logical explanation for her behaviour AT all and she’s crossed big lines.

Please go into the building and ask for her manager ASAP.
You need to explain this to her manager immediately, imagine the implication this could have on your daughter now and imagine how your daughter will feel if you’ve sat back and not acted on it.

She will be immediately dismissed pending investigation, there’s no doubt about it.

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

@Spitsandspots A and B don't have children, they are both friends from long before I had kids, I was a young mum so most of my friends either haven't settled down yet or are only just having families

[CupoTeap]

You have to report her.

[Pancakeflipper]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, like you need crap like this to deal with. Report for the many reasons others have said. They will be able to see if A accessed her records and how long she spent having a nosey.

My DS has SEN with MH issues. A friend of mine works in the Admin dept and I know she sends out appointment letters. I would be furious if she telling others and using her position to nosey at my child's records. And damn right I'd report it.

[Jellybeansincognito]

The sort of person who gossips about knowing of someone’s suicide attempt does not have enough compassion to be a receptionist for this service.

I can’t ever imagine telling a mutual friend of someone OH DID YOU KNOW- Xs daughter tried to commit suicide.

Disgusting.

[perfectstorm]

She’s not remotely “just an idiot” - it’s drilled into everyone who works in the NHS that it’s a sackable offence to access records without a professional reason to do so.

Yep. I worked for the CAB a few years ago and the amount of training we had on confidentiality was unreal. The idea that it's not happened in the NHS, where it's far, far more serious again, is a non-starter. A knows exactly. So, so many breaches here - looking up info you had no need to see is bad enough, but sharing it with a third party? Dear God.

We were told that if we heard something really traumatic it was okay to discuss that with family, but with absolutely no names or identifiable info, and never in a public place where others could overhear. So if you shared info with a close family member, and they could identify who it was, you were in breach.

And even that was only in cases where you had a client with a situation that distressed you, and you needed support yourself. Otherwise you weren't meant to say anything at all. Because it's not your info to share.

Medical confidentiality is in a different league again.

[LellyMcKelly]

You must report. If he accessed your records it’s likely he accessed other peoples’ records too. He should not be in that job.

[Woopdewoop]

Report definitely. Serious breach of confidentiality. Go through Trust’s official complaints or PALS service so is registered and not swept under carpet.

[Weffiepops]

Yes report your 'friend', she'll at least get a warning

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

@FenellaMaxwell thanks, that is really useful, coz that means its not even they've got nosey having scrolled too far when checking the appointment is it?

[Dollywilde]

Former medical secretary and former CAMHS patient myself many moons ago: just adding my voice to the list of those saying report.

One of my best mates is a midwife at our local hospital and I recently received my booking in appointment for my pregnancy there. After I had the appointment I told her about the pregnancy and asked her if she’d seen the list and knew in advance

She said that she hadn’t, but even if she had she wouldn’t have told me, she’d have just blocked it from her mind and made sure she was nowhere near any of my notes, and that she’d continue to do so for the duration of my pregnancy at that hospital. And that’s a best mate who knows everything that’s in my medical history anyway. A is a complete idiot, the training on confidentiality could not be more heavily emphasised.

[AllideasAndNoAction]

Friend A is completely and utterly out of line, she breached patient confidentiality and she needs to be reported and sacked or disciplined.

As for friend B, it’s hard to know without knowing the back story. If your friend is making assumptions that all children/teens with MH problems must be suffering as a result of selfish, abusive, neglectful or emotionally damaging parenting then she’s a complete idiot.

On the other hand if she knows things about your parenting style and your DDs background that we don’t then perhaps she’s right to make the link. That sounds harsh and I’m honestly not making accusations, merely trying to have a balanced view.

[PhilCornwall1]

Go through Trust’s official complaints or PALS service so is registered and not swept under carpet.

Brilliant advice there.

[clpsmum]

Report friend and and get rid of friend b who has such a low opinion of you.neither of these vile people
Are your friends. I do hope the situation with your DC improves and you have more support in place. Tho king of you xxx

[forgivemeimnew]

This is disgusting OP please report.

Also, friend B having a go at you is incredible, her actually knowing is bad enough but the fact that she didn’t say are you ok? Do you need a shoulder/someone to talk to? is ridiculous!

You sound like you are doing everything you can, please don’t beat yourself up. Having a sister that struggled with anorexia I know how hard these issues are on families and how you can feel utterly useless

[Pinkyyy]

That's absolutely disgusting behaviour from both of them. Do you have any proof on texts of either of them admitting what she did? If not, I'd make that happen before you cut them off. Nobody can argue with evidence.

[wildcherries]

Admin friend should be fired so fast their head will spin! Appalling behaviour. Friend B is a twat of the highest order. Please report. I'm so furious on your behalf. You sound like you're doing your best to help your DD.

[gromberry]

Definitely report, friend A is not a safe pair of hands for the sensitive info they are handling.

For what it's worth, it sounds to me like you are doing all the right things, getting professional support for DD etc. 'Friend' B can get in the bin

[DimplesToadfoot]

Where I worked accessing someones records with absolutely no reason or permission was known as "breaking glass" and grounds for instant dismissal.... report her, she's no friend