To think teacher shouldn’t describe child as arrogant?

[pinkgreenpurpleblue]

AIBU to be uncomfortable with this adjective ascribed to (nearly 13 year old) child?

Everything @Allington said. Why are people so willing to pass judgement in this way on a 12 year old child? I personally don’t find it at all appropriate for a teacher to say such a thing. They should focus on the behaviour that needs to be corrected, not making generalised judgements about their character/ labelling. Personally I think the teacher was unprofessional and I would complain.

I will share you an arrogance story ( some none critical details changed to avoid detection)
Taught child x in y9, bright but a little arrogant.
Next picked them up in y13 ( teacher left) they had turned into a supremely arrogant individual, would not take any guidance or instruction, made the atmosphere in class very unpleasant and eventually stopped coming to lessons. They got a B, having been easily an A* student as they thought they knew better. They lost their place at medical school.

Bizawit for the teacher to focus on the behaviour? should that not come from the parents? to teach their child? not to behave in such a way.

I don't think the use of the word is unprofessional or worthy of complaint if it describes his attitude but it does need to be clarified.

OP
On the apple one, yes I see your point.
On the little shit, if it was saying your child is a shit then that's really mean.
If it's posters saying that arrogant can he a euphemism for little shit then they're not wrong .
I bet "arrogant" wasn't the word the teacher would have liked to use but a polite way of telling you how your child is behaving
We don't know for sure.
It could mean arrogant as in overconfidence, misplaced sense of superiority, or it could equally mean cocky little shit. Given the lack of behaviour reports and detentions, my gut instinct would be it's the former.

I often used to find that arrogance in pupils was genetic once I met the parents.

My ds can be arrogant.. He's 14 in 2 weeks.. And I'd agree with anyone who says he is

If the child is arrogant then they are arrogant.
Unfortunately arrogance isn't a very good quality to have and can hamper learning. Having an exaggerated sense of your own importance doesn't really open you up to self development, learning and being adaptable so a teacher bringing it up may be concerned that the child's arrogance could hold them back or prevent progress etc.

Everything @Allington said. Why are people so willing to pass judgement in this way on a 12 year old child?

Because they are still young enough for a tendency not to become an ingrained character fault?

I think it needs to be defined as in "He talks over his peers and overrides their opinions" or "He openly challenges the marking criteria" or "He is sulky and hostile when given feedback" - that type of thing.

Arrogance is not the right mindset for learning. The teacher is right to call him out on it.

This is why we have a problem with some of the young children in schools. A lack of discipline at home, parent's unable to say no to their children, and parents wanting to complain every time a teacher says some thing to them that they do not like.

Exactly ils I could deal with that. As it is I’ve nothing to go on.

Above comment based on "tell him to stop being a little shit on no evidence"..... We teach 400 kids we can't document everything especially sly concocted arrogant behavior

Op this thread is infuriating!!!!!! You have come to ask for opinions and you aren't taking anything on board AT ALL and are so defensive. There are teachers here telling you how to tackle the problem and you still aren't listening.
This is probably where the problem lies.
No. One likes being told their child isn't perfect, but they aren't. Use it as constructive criticism and nip it in the bud now.

I'd be pleased if a teacher had told me that my child was arrogant. Because then I'd have gone home and given my child a massive bollocking for it. Not come on here and criticise the teacher then say you can't tell him off because you don't know what she meant. You know what arrogant means. Get him told that it has to stop. You'll be doing him a favour.

ilovesooty
But why should it be when we have a word to describe arrogance?

"X talks over their peers and overrides their opinions" could mean:

• that's a new behaviour they're displaying
• they're chatty and can dominate group work
• they're really enthusiastic and need to learn how to tone it down to maximise collaborative work
• they're arrogant and think their ideas are superior

Equally "openly challenging the marking criteria" could be:

• teenage hormones and laziness so are stroppy at times
• has developed a grudge towards one teacher and looks for ways to be deliberately awkward and rude towards them
• really lacks confidence in their ability, is likely to be NEET and so arguing and optig out of learning is a defence mechanism to save face
• they're arrogant and think that because they're of average to above average ability they know more than the teacher and think they're above feedback

If we call arrogance what it is then there's clarity on the attitude and everyone can move forward.

I’d want the teachers to tell me if my son was arrogant in lessons so I could try to do something about it

No, I wouldn't give the kid a massive bollocking.

But I'd be working very hard to find out what the objectionable behaviours and attitudes were, and trying to help my child see how what they're doing and how they're behaving is being perceived by others, and how it may be limiting them from achieving their full potential.

But you do have to be open to hearing that things that perhaps you see as positive attributes in your child that you've fostered, (perhaps) are being perceived and experienced far less positively by others.

Chances are that they are arrogant. Why are you so against it? Deal with it and move on. If I was told my son was arrogant then I’d sit him down and talk to him about it, not lambast the teacher for saying it.

You have three options

1. Ask the teacher for a further appointment/telephone conversation and ask him/ her to elaborate on the arrogant comment so you can address the concerns with your son Or
2. Speak to your son, explain what has been said and ask why the teacher has gained that impression, then either deal with it or go to 1 above
3. assume the teacher is wrong and complain.

I think my teen DS is a little arrogant. He doesn’t. He gets glowing reports for behaviour and attitude and is predicted top grades so I’m not sure the teachers are aware.
But he definitely thinks he knows better than most of his classmates and also me and DH, which I find a bit arrogant.
Where do you draw the line between arrogance and confidence? I’ve always tried to nurture his confidence as DH (his Dad) isn’t the most confident. However, I probably do lean to the arrogant side, I confess.

Well there's no question on why the child is arrogant from this thread

And I see in later comments you change your complaint from the word used, to her not explaining her reasoning. If you'd have come in here and said the teacher had said he was arrogant but you weren't given any examples and wanted to be able to correct, the response would have been 'Definitely follow up. Ask for another meeting.'

Instead you decided to post a thread complaining that a teacher used a word you don't like to describe your precious child.